trying to cope with depression

Hi Sharon. Oh God it's hell isn't it? I've also suffered a long time. I'm feeling stronger at the moment becuase I've had some counselling and it's really made a difference. Perhaps when you start your CBT it will help you too. I think it's just that someone listens and doesn't judge you. That's all it is and all I needed. Hang on in there.

Most folk haven't suffered from clinical depression so its hard for them to understand how horrible and wearing it is. You don't look ill and people imagine you having a great time away from work while being paid. They don't feel your guilt at not being at work but being out shopping for necessities. They don't expect the fear you're feeling about how long this will continue and when you'll be able to return to work. I've had serious depression for over a year now but still hate being asked if I've got a job yet or being told I look well when an hour earlier I had been feeling mentally lousy.

The lack of contact from work is very poor practice. HR should be in touch at least to check up on how you are and if they can do anything to help make getting back to work easier. Are you in a union who could advise and support you? Maybe a call to HR, if that's not your department, to mention no one's been in touch will make you seem really proactive and prompt a kick up the proverbial for your team manager. If it affects you longer term, you do have rights under disability legislation. Don't just quit out of desperation. I've done that a few times. Only now do I see how ill I was and what I really needed was a break and medical help. But they won't be able to help if you don't ask for it. Any difficulties at work thereafter you have support from the law. But don't think catastrophically. That's miles down line and not helpful to you now.

Don't feel guilty about the length of time you need to get better. Some pills take time to work. Others don't and its a crap shoot finding the right combination for you. Try to get outside at least once a day- having a dog or borrowing one for walks can be good. Try to do something you enjoy every day. Anything- knitting, baking, car maintenance. And exercise can be really helpful for low to medium depression even if you feel exhausted. See if your GP can refer you to an exercise group. I was extremely sceptical at first. But I'm still going to mine twice a week after 10 months. The atmosphere is friendly and the chat good fun. Swimming can be great, running if you like it, Yoga, Pilates- the happy chemicals from your brain flow freely and top up the anti-depressives. Just choose something you'd enjoy and don't beat yourself up if you really can't make a session.

Most importantly, remember you ARE ill. You need mental rest. Do what you can and don't sweat the rest. Going back to work too soon will not help you. You won't get thanks from work. Try and keep positive. Plan a hypothetical holiday. Research a hobby you've always wanted to take up.

Very best wishes and hugs, you have people rooting for you

hi, and a big thank you for all the idvice you have given me, it is very kind of you, it is very good idvice too, when i broke down at work my co worker hasnt spoken to me, she has ignored all my txts and everyone at work is ignorning me when or if i see them when i pick my daughter up from school, there making me feel so lousy , like im some kind of nutcace, im finding people who work there are making it very difficult , i absolutley hate going there even to pick my child up, (i work there), i feel bullied, i realy do not need all this crap, i am going through a time in my life where i need help, not treated like this! i feel sick to the stomach with anxiety when i think off work or the fact that i mite bump into someone from there, i havnt even done anything, in fact i have bent over backwards for my co worker and not just been a good work friend but a true friend to her , i feel so let down by everyone, not one person there have been in touch to see how i am, its like im the bad one, for god sake im at my wits end with my condition without people making it harder for me, i keep thinking should i leave but then they will have won, and i will be out off a job, should i keep looking for another job??? i just dont know what to do ??? i cant carry on like this , my family are suffering and must be getting sick off me, i need a lucky break, after everything iv been through in my life, i just wish it would come, im waiting for that light at the end of the tunnel, and for people to approach me and talk to me and not just turn away when they see me or put there head down, its hell getting trated like this and i want it to end!