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Had a week of abstinence and hit the wine hard yesterday, around lunch time.
I find myself very angry when I drink and I'm verbally lashing out. A person I don't recognise.
I think I must really hate myself.
I then went and sat in another bar and just started knocking back the wines.
It's all a bit vague this morning as I'm not even sure how I got home but there's a bump on my head and the feeling that I walked in front of a car yesterday evening.
I think people outside the pub helped me out of the road and someone walked me home. But I can't be sure.
I split up from my fiancé 3 wks ago as I was an embarrassment to him. His words.
I have lovely kids all teenagers but I really hate the mess I've made of my life through drink.
I've been done for drink driving twice in 3 yrs so I got a 3 yr ban this time and I'm one yr in. So I haven't learnt from mistakes. I haven't told my current employer about my recent conviction as I fear they'll sack me so I'm living a lie with constant fear of being found out.
I'm on self destruct. I know I am. I have no friends and just want it all to go away. But the more I drink the worse I'm getting.
If anyone can advise I'd really appreciate it.
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