Trying to think positive but whys it so hard? advice please

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Since loosing my job and certain things happening my anxiety has crept up on me again, not to the point where I wont leave the house like before, but i am seriously worried I will get to that point and i really don want too. I sit here and i think what do i even have to look forward too, its my birthday next week im going on a weekend holiday for it with my boyfriend, im young i have my whole life but it doesnt excite me right now, is that normal? I was sitting at my dads earlier just thinking what am i even doing with my life, I can think about all the things I want to do but I think more about all the things I havent achieved that I promised myself I would..  

My boyfriend says hes depressed whenever we have an arguement and it does put strain on me because I dont want to bother him with my anxiety issues I'd rather write on the forum. If anybody has any advice or any words of inspriation and wisdom they could share then id appreicate it! x

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  • Posted

    Write out a list of all the things you want to do. Forget about the past, its gone. Cant change it, cant go back. Start fresh right this second. Make a list. You want a new job? think about what you would have fun doing go for a jib that is low stress and fun. Google low stress jobs. Then think about what YOU want in a relatiinship. Make another list of the emotional needs and such that you want. If you arent happy in your relationship dont settle because you are lonely, big mistake. The right person is out there for you. You are exactly where you are suppose to be in the world at this very moment, you can shape and form your world into whatever it is you want you know, yes anxiety is frustrating and annoying but dont let it stop you from setting up your life. You want to be excited about something., ? What makes you smile? What brings you joy? You like the outdoors? You like animals?  Just think about even the simplest things that bring you joy and go for it.
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    • Posted

      Thank you for the reply. I have been looking for jobs all day and my anxiety has suddenly come back after I lost my job because I obviously was working and didnt have time to over think everything! I get anxious about stupid things I fear im starting not to recognise myself and im gonna forget who I am and stuff I know it sounds silly.. Can I ask what do you do to make yourself feel relaxed or at ease?
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    • Posted

      Oh dont worry so much who you are, we arent fixed beings. We change constantly. You are no longer the person you were at all, amxiety alters people. Hopefully if all goes correctly you will grow as a person and become stronger and wiser.you will learn to go for what makes you happy and throw aside the fears or face them. Takes time. Knowing i can over ride it calm me. Yes you get the adrenaline rush, but really sometimes they are like mini rushes and just stop and other times it can take a while. But either way they do pass. Im older then you so im nit sure what would relax me would work on you. When i was younger music calmed me or working out heloed a lot. Working is a great thing to do, but not in some over stressful job. A normal one that has decent hours and such. Theres a lot of those out there. I tend to listen to podcasts, these short mindfull utube videos and try cery hard to keeo myself busy. Very bad to have too much down time. things that calm me are hobbies i like. Gardening, art, taking walks, shopping (haha) being with people. I will say anyine im close to knows i get anxious and if thats okay with them im good. If they cant handle it i dodnt need anyone like that in my life. I have found most everyone gets anxiety. Maybe a handful of people i have knows were judgemental about it and i didnt care. Shame in them for being so uncompassionate. I like compassionate people, they are the ones you want to surround you. There are many out there. The rudest, most judgemental meanest people usually are hiding something very miserable anyway so who cares what they think. Does that help you?
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    • Posted

      if you like animals thers many jobs with them too. Animal stores, teach you to train them, just work. In one, many vets love help, shelters..etc..just an exampe. Low stress, loving job and you meet a lot of people. 
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    • Posted

      That really did help me. I forget how many people do have anxiety.. I know some people that live by me who I thought were mega confident and very popular and themselves suffer with depression or an anxiety disorder, so It doesnt make me feel so alone. With my partner not working either it brings great bore into our relationship, im sorry it may sound mean but we dont do anything because well its no suprise you need money to do most things, unless you want to go for a walk and stuff. But I might take up a hobby, I like watching youtube videos about make up and stuff but since ive ran out of money i just feel so crappy! I just need to get back out there really but sometimes I get lost on where to start. xxx
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  • Posted

    try and make your boyfriend a bit more understanding of your problems would help both of you develop your relationship. Hiding away is not the answer.  I hope you find a new job when you feel ready too.

    rich

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  • Posted

    Hi, I'm currently going through a lot of change within the household which is my comfort zone and it's all getting messed up. Which I'm turn has brought my anxiety back with vengeance. Like you I have been afraid to leave the house in the past and completely understand the feeling that it could all return especially when I'm having a bad day but the trick I find is not to let yourself fall back into old patterns and do the only thing you can do which is fight it. If you avoid negative routines you shouldn't slip back into how you have been in the past. As for things to help me relax I've literally tried it all. Everyone is different so it's a case of trial and error with it but for me, calamine tea 30 mins before an anxious situation or before bed helps relax me. Yoga (especially for stress) takes 10 minutes and relaxs me. Drawing (I'm not a artist) I enjoy it and it distracts my thoughts. Going for a walk somewhere quiet, listening to my favourite song, having a bubble bath, laying down and deep breathing for a couple of minutes. Small simple pleasures that don't require you having to do much is how I calm down. So what ever you enjoy something small that puts a smile on your face, do it and enjoy it. You don't think about fear when your doing something that makes you happy. Sorry about the essay and I wish you the best of luck smile
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    • Posted

      Thanks for the response. and nooo I love reading long essays! haha its more advice. Its not a good feeling like Ill sit in my boyfriends room like I am now he sits on his computer games ALOT and im on my laptop most of the day I feel like I have a fuzzy head and I just feel crappy. I know it would help if i managed to get a job and of course I want one and i will get one, its sad I lost mine. I wish I could shut my mind off and relax, I was tempted to buy some books which can help with anxiety so maybe thats something I could consider. I just feel so negative about things and thinking about death also scares me so much I get scared like what if i go to sleep and dont wake up? I know it sounds sooo stupid but its just all so over whelming sometimes! xx
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  • Posted

    You are worrying yourself to death!

    I had the afraid to leave the house problem 2 years ago. I tried CBT. But my therapist said I was having a hard time grasping the exercises because my mind was like not allowing me to think positively. So she suggested Zoloft. Ever since I started it I have seen such a huge difference in my life.

    Do you see a therapist? Maybe you should see one. Are you on medication? I would consider speaking to a therapist about going on one.

    It really changed my life.

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    • Posted

      Thanks for the response. Not seeing a therapst right now but maybe I should before my anxiety gets worse, i was on sertraline once but i didnt like it and doc told me to come off, I didnt eat for 2 weeks I was in so much pain and cried like everyday and lost weight to a dangerous extent. 

      I'd prefer a more natural approach personally then being hooked on medication xx

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