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Trying to Understand Someone I care about with GAD

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I was in a great relationship with someone who has Generalized Anxiety Disorder. He trusted me enough to tell me and I knew when he had days that he just shut down and all I could do was be there for him when he needed me. Early on in the relationship I started knowing that he was worried, and constantly texted to see what I was doing. I knew it was his anxiety and I was always reassuring him that he was the only man in my life and that everything is ok. I never put him down for his anxiety or blamed him or his anxiety. We never fought because I aways made sure to talk things through with him to avoid it so it wouldn't put strain on his anxiety and cause him to shut down. One night I didn't answer back until the next morning because I ended up falling asleep. He was instantly questioning me where I was and why he didn't hear from me all night. I told him that I fell asleep and I was at home with my daughter all night. He ended up cancelling our plans for the weekend and wanted to be alone. That was the first time I was upset about it because we had a whole weekend event planned that I was looking forward too. By the end of the weekend I couldn't get him to see me or say more then one sentence to me in text. I went to check on him and he wasn't happy with that and the next day he said he wanted to go our separate ways because his anxiety is always high and relationships are stressful for him. I was hurt and wanted to fight for him but I knew his anxiety was on extreme high and I didn't want to upset him anymore then I might have already that weekend trying to get him to talk. So I just responded that I understand and respect the decision, that I am here for him if he needs to talk and that I cared about him.  I worry about him, I care for him and have strong loving feelings for him, it has been almost two weeks since we have talked. I have wanted to reach out to him to see if he is ok. His anxiety and how he handles it causes me to worry about him. Should I though? I don't want to contribute to his anxiety.

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4 Replies

  • harriet67221
    harriet67221 Guest

    Posted

    Perhaps just a gentle phone call may reassure him and let him know you are still interested in him. He could be testing you. Hard one to decide really.
  • glenn75552
    glenn75552 Guest

    Posted

    Oh gosh being a male and in a new relationship I can see both sides. My anxiety is really bad at this time because I don't think I am good enough for her. She loves me with all her heart and I with mine. Add a twenty year age difference and she has children of which I have always been single and you can probably see lots of high anxiety triggers. I have performance anxiety because I love her so much. But after saying all this, I am aware not to burden her to much with being over possessive. I have a man cave as all us males do. The urge to run and hide sometimes is overwhelming. This is what has happened to your mum. I just know he is sat in his cave broken hearted and to stubborn and scared to step out. But he has to if he loves you. How can you deal with this. Show him this and tell him he isn't alone.

  • glenn75552
    glenn75552 Guest

    Posted

    Mum should read man.... sorry predictive text and anxiety makes me type quick to get it out the way.
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