TSM, nalmefene, selincro - trying to control my drinking!!!
Posted , 15 users are following.
I'm really busy reading all I can all over here and the internet in general, about The Sinclair Method, Naltrexone and Nalmefene but as I took my first tablet last night, I thought I'd start my own thread about it too!
Background...
Female, 40 years old, "functioning" alcoholic as in I work part time, I have a husband, children, own a house, am an active member of the community where I live. I drink at home, evenings only but from 1 to 2 bottles of wine a night, every night.
In August last year I realised my units had crept up from 60-80 per week to a record high of 135 (I log the next morning on drink aware ap). I went to my GP and requested help, he told me not to stop drinking suddenly as I could be at risk of seizure, he referred me to Addaction. I met with them and told them my drinking felt out of control, the levels were crazily high and I was drinking on work days with no regard for what was happening the next day. She was brilliant, everyone was, so non-judgemental and kind. We set a date for a home and dry detox which I did in September. Took tapering does of librium for 7 days and then went onto acamprasate. Stayed sober for 7 weeks. Felt great, mornings were lovely, sleep was fantastic, sober days out with no headache or fog was brilliant but I felt like I was really missing out. I went to some support groups and people there were in different stages of alcoholic / moderating / absteining / cutting down / on serious drugs etc... Whole range of people and problems.
I started questioning "was I that bad?" "why can't I just drink moderately?" "What's wrong with me?" Anyway, long story short I started drinking again, first just at weekends, bottle of wine, then some days a bottle a night, some days off, eventually back up to a bottle a night, every night but not as high as before. All this time I'm still talking to addaction and being totally honest about my situation and spending all day googling alcoholic forums trying to figure out what to do. AA was at the back of my mind as my last resort because I have tried it a few years ago and found it to be a bit cult like. Its like "yes it can save you but it kind of takes over your life aswell".
When I stumbled across The Sinclair Method, C3 Europe, naltrexone and nalmefene I thought it was a joke. I'm still not 100% convinced it can really work, it sounded too good to be true.
Anyway, I picked them up yesterday and took my first pill at 5.10pm last night. I felt quite spaced out, it was almost like the feeling of coming up on a pill/trip from when I was a teenager! I was sat chatting to my children and helping them with their homework but I was feeling a bit "odd". Put them to bed and had some red wine about 7.00pm. First couple of glasses went down as quick as normal but then I slowed down. It was strange, I had the bottle next to me but I wasn't getting through it as quick as normal. I wasn't racing to get the 2nd bottle out, ready to swap it over. I felt really glad that I had an instant effect off it. I decided to drink as much as I wanted to so probably did a bottle and 2 glasses but almost had to force myself to finish the last glass before going to bed (stupid I know).
Woke up at 2am, went to the toilet which isn't that unusal anyway. But this morning felt a little "removed" from myself. Didn't want to eat anything. Ended up having a banana at 10am and now I feel OK. I'm going to take another pill tonight but drink a smaller amount (if I can control it).
I'll update later, would love to hear from anyone in a similar situation.
Sorry for essay length of post!
1 like, 71 replies
ADEfree foreverfuzzy
Posted
foreverfuzzy
Posted
Friday night, had 3 miniature white wine = 6.9 units
Saturday night had 3 miniature red wine = 7.2 units
Felt great both mornings after having not had too much, managed fully productive days, painting shelves, taking kids out, went to a alcohol support group where I shared the magic of nalmefene!
Sunday night - alcohol free
Monday night - alcohol free
I have had a bit of a flu / cold type thing the last 2 weeks but that has never stopped me drinking before! The last 2 nights I just have known that I haven't wanted to so I haven't had to take the tablet. I've felt like I wanted to feel comforted and managed to identify that as either a hot chocolate or an early night or trashy TV wrapped up in a cozy blanket.
I really think in the past I sometimes drank for "comfort" but in reality it didn't give me comfort, it gave me embarassing black outs, and hideous anxiety the next day.
I feel so liberated that alcohol doesn't have a hold over me at the moment I want to scream it from the rooftops! I'm still aware that I need to devlop new hobbies and interests, I'm going to start some new craft stuff and I'm doing lots of organising at home, working on recovery journals etc.
Anyone who feels trapped by their drinking please try nalmefene : )))
IChooseLife foreverfuzzy
Posted
I was wondering how things were going with you. This is GREAT news! I am thrilled for you and hope that you can sustain the momentum. You sound as if you are in a really good place mentally and physically.
I have been managing to limit my alcohol intake - really drastically. After discussing it with an alcohol counsellor, it seems as if it's a good idea for me to try it alone, first, without nalmefene - I'm not at risk for withdrawal symptoms, and I had actually never "tried to do this alone and failed" - so she thought I might not be a candidate for the medication at the moment. So far so good! I've been keeping a diary, and since Friday I've had 2 to 3 units each evening; always white wine mixed with mineral water. There are hellish cravings at cocktail hour; but I try to distract myself and allow myself a wine-and-water after dinner.
I feel pretty good, and productive; I get up earlier (surprise surprise), but I am sleeping very lightly indeed and that's tiring me. But I don't want to resort to sleeping tablets - which would potentially be yet another crutch.... I actually have started tackling a few very important long-range financial projects that I had always put off until now.
My problem is I'm hopelessly impatient, and tend to set myself completely unreachable goals (i.e. "I'm going to lose ten pounds in 2 weeks and feel five years younger by next month, or else, sod it!"), so I have to make sure that I am committed to this for the long haul. And: I now have an added incentive: I finally got my health insurance sorted out in the country where I live, and if I pass a health test (which includes a close examination of alcohol consumption), my payments decrease. I can do this!
I totally understand you about drinking for "comfort" before. "Hello, chocolate." That's me, saying hello to my new best friend - dark chocolate, consumed in moderation of course. The fact that you are working on recovery journals also sounds really really important - it's good that you're devoting time and thought to that.
Keep up your good work, and hope you get over your cold soon. Here's to a great and healthier 2016.
ADEfree foreverfuzzy
Posted
One thing that Dr. Eskapa recommended in his book is to shoot for a Alcohol Free weekend, wherein you let the Selincro (or Naltrexone) wash out of your system on Friday and Saturday, then on Sunday you engage in endorphin releasing activites (go for a hike, brisk exercise of some sort, eat spicy food, watch a good comedy, have sex, etc). That helps to replace the drinking by rewarding healthy activities with a nice blast of endorphins, so it's like getting two different uses out of the Selincro.
patricia44773 foreverfuzzy
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Pat xxxx
Jackscrumpy foreverfuzzy
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foreverfuzzy
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Drank 5 miniature red wine last night = 1 and 1/4 bottle...
Why? I have no idea. I wasn't Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. To be honest, I probably just drank it because it was there. Did I enjoy it? Yes at the time, but not when I woke up at 4am this morning thinking WTF have I done? Had a sore head but felt really disappointed in myself. So what can I learn from this? Again, the nalmefene is not a straight jacket, if you want to drink to excess on it, you can. It will not stop you.
Positives I am going to take from this experience;
- I didn't drink everything that was in the house.
- I woke up regretting it.
- I KNOW I am not going to drink tonight.
- I hated the feeling this morning.
- I prefer waking up sober, enough so that it will stop me doing that again later.
- I have to realise that only "I" am in control of me. The nalmefene is a tool but only that. I still have to look inside of myself as to why I want to get stupid drunk on my own, on a night when I have work the next day, for no good reason. I am starting 1:1 counselling next Saturday and hope to try and shed some light on this.
- I am not letting this put me off or put me back.
Onwards....
Joanna-SMUKLtd foreverfuzzy
Posted
In the cold light of day, with the nalmefene removing the reward effect, your brain will have seen this was a pointless thing that didn't achieve how it used to feel. Next time, you brain is more likely to remember this event and decide not to repeat it.
It's all a learning experience
Replacing old learning with new learning, and its a little unrealistic to hope or expect that we will said through The Sinclair Method with no issues at all. It isn't as easy as it initially sounds when it says take the tablet, wait and then drink!
I always say to people that aiming to drink minfully is all about recognising that although we may be aiming for that, we are only human and sometimes we won't quite make it. Even 'normal' drinkers will set a limit for themselves and occasionally not keep it, even though they meant to, and then wake up regretting it.
If you aim for say 9 mindful drinking sessions on nalmefene out of every 10, then that would be a good achievement. We are not robots and to feel bad because we weren't perfect on that 10th time is not worth thinking about.
You are doing brilliantly!
Jackscrumpy foreverfuzzy
Posted
I have asked myself the same question many times the following morning. I speak for myself only as we all do things for different reasons, but your original post on this forum struck many chords with me.
I drink because I enjoy it at the time. I feel remorse the following day as I can not function to my best ability. I suffer from horrendous hangovers (thank god) on fairly moderate drinking habits by most standards. So I promise myself that I will drink less so that I can do all those things I want to do without a thumping hangover, and when I let myself down by drinking again there is a huge sense of remorse. It is hard to give up something you enjoy a lot and that has been a big part of your life for so long.
IMO you are doing 100% the right thing.
You are talking openly & honestly with people around you about your issues.
You have taken ownership of your problem.
You know what you want to achieve.
You WILL get to where you want to be, as I can read the determination in your words and your structured approach to life leads me to think that you are the type of person that gets what they want.
Keep strong. Old habits don't die easily.
foreverfuzzy
Posted
You're right, I am human, I am not a robot and I cannot expect to have suddenly become this "mindful, recovered, mature adult" within 3 weeks of taking nalmefene!!!
Yes, I took the tablet 2 hours beforehand so I was "covered" and I guess there is some relief in knowing that drunken episode was not for nothing, it was making my brain forge new pathways and learn new ways. That's better than the old days of it literally having been for nothing.
Jack - are you taking nalmefene, doing TSM?
You're right, I am a very organised, structured person in all areas of my life except those involving food and alcohol! The food issue I addressed 18 months ago, I had a gastric bypass privately and I've lost 10 stone!!! Now, just the alcohol to tame and I'll consider myself pretty well balanced, lol : ))))))))
Thanks for your replies, much appreciate, hope it's OK to keep using this forum as my own accountability blog!!!
ADEfree foreverfuzzy
Posted
Jackscrumpy foreverfuzzy
Posted
I certainly wouldn't class myself as a heavy drinker but I certainly had a habit and was unsure whether I was stil in control or whether the drink was!
I'm in the process of trying to figure that out now. I started to measure my alcohol intake (rather than guess it, as human nature seems to have a habit of under-playing it). I have set myself goals.
Time will tell if I can keep to them. I need to demonstrate to myself that I'm the one in charge. If I can then me and alcohol can still be friends. If I can't then he's got to go, as I value all those other things in life (health, family, activity) more.
IChooseLife Jackscrumpy
Posted
foreverfuzzy
Posted
Before taking nalmefene units per week;
Week 1 - 87
Week 2 - 104
Then started taking nalmefene;
Week 3 - 70
Week 4 - 27
Week 5 - 31
Week 6 - 35
I'm really pleased with how my units have dropped so quickly, my husband thinks it's a bit too good to be true and thinks I should be drinking more often but smaller amounts, whereas what I'm doing is drinking 2-3 times a week, but 9-10 units each time. What do you think, do you think I should try and drink more often but less or be happy that I've just reduced the total overall? The nights when I don't drink, I don't miss it at all, I feel relaxed, I love waking up sober.
Generally, all good : )))
odishon foreverfuzzy
Posted
I've had similar reductions but it took 9 months before they kicked in!
ADEfree foreverfuzzy
Posted
The latest guidance I've seen on this is to take Selincro whenever you feel cravings, wait 2hrs, then see if you still want the drink. If you do, then go ahead and have one. Work on tamping down the quantity per drinking session. Have a glass of water in between drinks and listen to what your body is telling you. Do you really want that next drink? If not, don't pour it. If you do, go ahead and have it. Just keep up with that throughout the session and see if you can put a dent in the habit while Selincro is putting a dent in the cravings.
Joanna-SMUKLtd foreverfuzzy
Posted
Stay positive. If we had told you 6 weeks ago that your drinking would be reduced this much, then you might not have believed us.
For the time being, keep going and see how things are in another couple of weeks at least.
Take the first drink after the tablet slowly and allow yourself to recognise how it feels. Always question if you want the next drink, and if you don't then get up and remove yourself away from the drink.
It's all going great for you so far :-)
Joanna-SMUKLtd ADEfree
Posted
In these early days, if a craving exists enough to make someone take the Seincro then they should have at least one drink after the 2 hours have passed.
The reason is that the fact cravings exist mean that the extinction process is not complete yet. The tablet is not curative on it's own. If someone takes the tablet and then doesn't drink, they are no further on in the process than before they took the tablet. All they have done is wasted a tablet, which if they are paying for privately in the Uk is about £4 per tablet.
TSM is using this medication to answer a craving and disapoint the brain when the rush of the drink isn't there. Therefore, one must take at least a drink after the tablet to disappoint the brain and therefore move one step further towards the overall goal.
ADEfree Joanna-SMUKLtd
Posted