Unsure and scared about my upcoming hysterectomy and all these feelings that go with it advice needed

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I am a 32 married childless female who would have loved to have a baby of my own. I was told yesterday that I would never be able to conceive vaginally. My only option would be IVF which I can not afford.

My doctor thinks its best I have a hysterectomy. I have severe endometriosis it has attached my bladder and bowel to my uterus and made my tubes useless. Plus I have around 8 cyst on and around my tubes. I feel useless as a women and a wife. My husband has been wonderful and very supportive threw my last 3 laparoscopies.

I'm very scared and confused and feel like I have no options. But I know if I don't get this done it will continue to get worse. I'm just having a hard time facing the facts that I will never get to have a baby. do these feelings go away??? Does it get easier?

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3 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi hun. I was in exactly the same situation as you when i had my hysyerectomy  at 28.. Its taken me 10yrs to accept that i wont be a mom. The feelings dont go away, i wish i could tell you that they do. The do get easier, but not a lot. I'm sorry im not really helping am i? If youre interested, ive just started a blog to try and put all my feelings into writing. Theres 2 posts on there for now, one of which is about this situation and the feelings that go with it. Ive been writing my feelings for a while so there 'll be more posts that i hope could help you. 

    Im not trying to be one of those rude look at me people ive just been here with the endo, its awful, and id like to think my experience could help xx

    my blog if you're interested is _____ really hope it helps xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Donna

      Just wanted to know how is life after your hysterectomy? Did you have your ovaries removed? And have you started menopause early has a result of the op.. if so how is it?

      My op is August and I'm trying to get has much info has possible has you know this is a big decision that will possibly effect the rest of my life. I am 30..

      Would like to hear your view

      Thanks Tanya

    • Posted

      Hi Tanya thanks for the questions. 

      I had both ovaries removed at the same as my womb (sometimes they're removed later as in my moms case) and yep went straight into early menopause. I'm not going to lie it's not nice I've never felt so old. Part of my trouble is that I'm sensitive to oestrogen so can't take any form of HRT. 

      I struggle with absolute exhaustion and weight gain as well as hot flushes and mood swings. What I would highly recommend is that if you do start HRT (some people don't use it) is to keep going back to your doctor to make sure you get the right dosage/type for you. You may find that the first type you go on doesn't suit you at all but there's so many to try that something will suit you. (That was a good tip from my mom) 

      If you're interested I've started a blog with some pieces that I wrote about I deal with things and some experiences I've had. Let me know if you want the link (can't paste bit here) 

      Hope this helps, sorry if it's a bit negatives just wanted to let you know how I've felt. Xxx

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