unwanted pregnancy.. please help!

Edited , 3 users are following.

so first of all please don't read if you find abortion triggering..

i've been really stupid and i'm not proud of what i'm about to write. it started when i met this man back in september. since then we've met up and had sex on three occasions. the first time i got the plan b pill the morning after. the second time i was on my period so i wasn't expecting to have sex, but we did end up having sex, and he said that he wanted to marry me during the 'act' because of his religious beilefs etc, basically i kind of freaked out because he hardly knew me and i wanted him to get off me and literally started crying, he eventually got off me and we went to sleep but i let him 'finish' in the morning. moronically i thought that because he came outside of me (sorry for TMI!!) i didn't have much to worry about in terms of getting pregnant. i didn't want to meet him again after that because the experience left me feeling deflated and grossed out. but again moronically i met him on halloween night, we had sex and this time i got the plan b again on my way home. anyway i found out today that i'm 1-2 weeks pregnant. i know i should've never had unprotected sex or met with this man just for a bit of affection, but i've got myself into this mess now. i'm going to ring the abortion clinic in the morning. i've only told my friend and i don't plan on telling my family (maybe i would if i was in a relationship with the father) and i don't plan on telling the man either (i feel he would try to make me keep the baby because of religious reasons, and i don't want to be involved with him anymore). i seriously would consider not getting an abortion if i was in a relationship or even just felt better about the father but i just feel it's the best thing to do in my situation. i guess i just want some advice from an outsiders perspective. for background info i'm 21 (recently not employed and just started a degree), and the man is 26 (he has a child already and has various criminal records etc).

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  • Edited

    hi harrysighy, you won't like what i have to say but why? why do it and why not take precautions? i am a afraid i am an ardent Catholic and am definitely anti-abortion - my background is this: i was raped once by your age thenn at the age of 25. i was forced to take the morning after pill, even to the point where my mouth was forced open and i was told to take tavlets to cause a miscarriage. you can't decide to take that baby's life in your hand. please let someone know and think what you've doing, someone like me could give that baby a really good home! i am sorry but you are selfish. a life is a life, from the moment you conceive! 😥😥😥😥

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    • Edited

      Hi Sam. I realise I chose the wrong forum to post on - I was acting out of desperation and I wasn't thinking clearly. I understand your religion and beliefs, but the truth is - the people who will convince me to keep my pregnancy won't be there for me after I give birth, so I can't be swayed with what strangers say on the internet. I've always been pro-choice and I don't follow Catholic ideology, so I'm going to make my choice. No disrespect, but what i decide to do will not affect you in anyway - I'm not disrespecting anyone who wants a baby, there are already millions of children who need adopting. So don't act like me not having a baby is denying someone else the ability to be a mother. I'm truly sorry for the trauma you've endured, this is obviously a painful topic for you and I really didn't intend to open any wounds (i said not to read if abortion was a sensitive topic, but should have been more specific). I won't lie I was upset by your words, they hit me when i was especially vulnerable and the shame killed me, which is why I never replied. Please don't think that this is all a walk in the park for me. I know you hate me for my actions (I'm not fond of myself either!), so you're not the right person for me to talk to. But i wish you nothing but the best in everything.

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  • Posted

    sorry i may have been a bit harsh on you but please think before you just get rid of a child - that is what you would have had to do years back but not now! i am desperate for children and feel mine were snatched from me. you luckily sound like you weren't raped, if you had been your decision might well be very clear....

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  • Edited

    hi harrisiggy, it's not the fact that you've got the forum wrong that upsets me but you haven't thoroughly read what i've said and why and what it means. i have known people who have aborted children and severely regretted it. it may feel like nothing to you but are you doing this to save face to your family or are you just doing it for selfish you? i bet you've never even discussed it with nobody else. when you get rid of this tiny, defenceless life let me know and think of me personally, desperate for a child but denied by rape. does that not hurt you? if i doesn't then you are truly selfish.

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    • Edited

      I have read what you've said Sam. I have told my mother now and have talked things through with her. I know that you were denied having children - no one should have to go through that. It is a women's choice and you should have been able to choose to have children. I'm sorry. But what happened to you dosen't give you the right to force other women into pregnacy's when it's not right for them. It dosen't give you the right to guilt trip and shame women who don't want to carry a certain man's baby and who are not ready to bring life into this world. Doing so will not change what happened in your past, it will just make other people suffer. This is a serious topic and I should never have posted in this forum - I thought that it was a place of nonjudgment but obviously that nonjudgment is conditional. I don't want to hurt you with what I'm saying but you obviously have no regards to my feelings so I'm just going to be honest with you. You are being very irresponsible by giving me your advice (if you can call it advice). You clearly just want me to go through with this pregnancy with no thought of what my life or the potential child's life will look like afterwards. You are no healthcare professional or counsellor; but a woman with strong opinions and beliefs, so my decision is not going to come from you. I wouldn't have had the emotional strength to engage with you a few days ago but I can face you now. And your emotional manipulation (because that's exactly what it is) isn't going to get the better of me. You seem to have such kindest and respect for (most) of the people in this community, but I can ensure you that not all the women in your life and on here have never had to end a pregnancy.. Perhaps one day your compassion can extend to people who don't fit neatly into your morals.

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  • Posted

    it is entirely you're choice what you decide, i just your conscience can live with it! don't say i have manipulated you in to what to do, i have simply offered you a different view which you clearly don't like. i have been deeply traumatized by assault and by a so called loving family who didn't deal with it. if you don't want children then that's your choice but lastly remember this some women are given no choice.

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