Up and down

Hi cami

Oh your post so sad, so sorry to hear of your loss.

i know what you mean about seeing parents growing older in front of you, we do and are too to ours 😞

As for needing space. Yep i love my own space, went throu the peri ' want my own space 100% ' phase mid way.

Think we may feel other half doesnt and cant understand how we feel thing, as they dont have all this peri and post meno stuff, and i think we tend ' some of us' to push them away, as we dont want to keep telling them about how we just feel lifeless at times, like we are failing to them.

It did pass for me, mine works overseas so i get my space now lots of, still want it sometimes when hes back 😀

Big hugs lovely

Jay x

Hi Cami, firtly im so sorry of your loss, i well know the impact this can ahve on one, we lost four family members one being my dad,in a space of three years, two being in the same month two weeks apart, going through the menapause on its own make us feel all over the place and weepy on its own so losing loved ones is a double harsh blow and yes it does put you in fear of losing others or your own. My mum is still with us but its very un nerving when she gets her off days or her turns as she calls them. i do feel full of panick often, She is 84. Wish i could say more to help you, i casn only say it will get better in time and if only there was an understanding doctor that could give us a miracle cure without the side affects. Your hubby must be finding it very hard too being his parents, it maybe  his way off coping, thinking he is offering you advice. Its normal to feel like you do, i often feel like shutting myself away and not seeing anyone. Hope things improve for you soon

Sue x

HI, I  totally understand what you are saying.  I lost my parents 10 months apart and prior to that, 4 years before, my little nephew died of leukaemia age just six.  This ripped my family apart and it took me a long time to even be half way managing.  I know that fear....the fear it will happen again and I feel absolute dread if I linger on it too much.  Many of my peri symptoms were masked by my distress or maybe in fact brought on by the grief over the years.  Now I am in the menopause and the rage, sadness, panic is worse but I am just taking a day at a time and try and keep stress to a minimum and keep it as healthy as I can.  I never thought I would cope with all that has happened but I have although it has been very hard.  The menopause does not help at all though!!!  I am considering hrt as natural is not dealing with all the symptoms I have and see how that goes. Maybe a trip to your GP may help you? There is nothing wrong with expessing yourself on down days on here so don't apologise; we all understand.  I am very sorry for your losses and hope tomorrow is a better day for you.  Take care.XXXX

hiya

Yep, I too had a lot to deal with when my father-in-law died. He was our last parent between us, and we were only 43/44: we felt like orphans. So I completely understand your fear about losing your parents.

I'd say that my husband has found losing his father life-changing for him: I think a little bit of him went too. Very sad

Talking would have been great for me: meds, no thanks.  I'm pretty good at showing my feelings/venting my spleen etc. 

I know its cliche'd but time really is a great healer.

I think you should spend all the time you want with your parents: that's a lovely thing to have. And don't forget: as you see them age, so do they see it in you too (Bonnie Raite sang about that too!!)

Go give your ol' man a hug and a kiss:  I'm sure just by posting your message here, you feel better for just getting how you feel off your chest. We're all ears on here, don't forget.

Chin Up Kiddo.

Sx