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I posted a while back saying I felt low, a mixture of the 'wonderful' peri symptoms and also grief as we lost both my mum in law and father in law last year, 7 months apart.

I had absolutely no idea how hard this would hit me and tried to stay strong for my husband.

Since then I've been pretty much up and down.I feel as if I'm dropping to bits with peri symptoms and I have been overwhelmed with a total fear of losing my own parents.. I try to spend as much time with them as I can but feel as if I can see them ageing in front of me 😢

I have also felt very cranky and irritable too.. Oftern taking my despair and frustrations out on my hubby. Sometimes I need to be alone and can't bear to be in the same room as him. He tries to help in his own way... Which is him suggesting, 'talk to GP' and 'maybe they can give you something to help you' Grrrrrr

Sorry for my moaning girls, I just hope I sleep well tonight and tomorrow is a new day.


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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi cami

    Oh your post so sad, so sorry to hear of your loss.

    i know what you mean about seeing parents growing older in front of you, we do and are too to ours 😞

    As for needing space. Yep i love my own space, went throu the peri ' want my own space 100% ' phase mid way.

    Think we may feel other half doesnt and cant understand how we feel thing, as they dont have all this peri and post meno stuff, and i think we tend ' some of us' to push them away, as we dont want to keep telling them about how we just feel lifeless at times, like we are failing to them.

    It did pass for me, mine works overseas so i get my space now lots of, still want it sometimes when hes back 😀

    Big hugs lovely

    Jay x

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    • Posted

      Hi Jay,

      Thanks for your reply.

      My hubby worked away too until last summer so we are still adjusting to him working locally. We do rub along quite nicely... Til I have a Godzilla day 😉


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  • Posted

    Hi Cami, firtly im so sorry of your loss, i well know the impact this can ahve on one, we lost four family members one being my dad,in a space of three years, two being in the same month two weeks apart, going through the menapause on its own make us feel all over the place and weepy on its own so losing loved ones is a double harsh blow and yes it does put you in fear of losing others or your own. My mum is still with us but its very un nerving when she gets her off days or her turns as she calls them. i do feel full of panick often, She is 84. Wish i could say more to help you, i casn only say it will get better in time and if only there was an understanding doctor that could give us a miracle cure without the side affects. Your hubby must be finding it very hard too being his parents, it maybe  his way off coping, thinking he is offering you advice. Its normal to feel like you do, i often feel like shutting myself away and not seeing anyone. Hope things improve for you soon

    Sue x

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  • Posted

    HI, I  totally understand what you are saying.  I lost my parents 10 months apart and prior to that, 4 years before, my little nephew died of leukaemia age just six.  This ripped my family apart and it took me a long time to even be half way managing.  I know that fear....the fear it will happen again and I feel absolute dread if I linger on it too much.  Many of my peri symptoms were masked by my distress or maybe in fact brought on by the grief over the years.  Now I am in the menopause and the rage, sadness, panic is worse but I am just taking a day at a time and try and keep stress to a minimum and keep it as healthy as I can.  I never thought I would cope with all that has happened but I have although it has been very hard.  The menopause does not help at all though!!!  I am considering hrt as natural is not dealing with all the symptoms I have and see how that goes. Maybe a trip to your GP may help you? There is nothing wrong with expessing yourself on down days on here so don't apologise; we all understand.  I am very sorry for your losses and hope tomorrow is a better day for you.  Take care.XXXX
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    • Posted

      Thanks Margaret,

      Today unfortunately has been another naff one.. I'm on a weeks holiday from work which I would normally love but just feel sad this week. I'm wondering if a period is on it's way😁

      I had lunch out with my sister today which wasn't a good move as she's naturally quite depressive ( I'm normally the more up-beat one)

      Unfortunately today wasn't one of her better days so I was pleased to get home!

      I find if I'm feeling like this I'm better off at work as it's so busy I don't get chance to think and i just ' put on a smiley face' and throw myself into work.

      I'm planning on heading out to tidy garden tomorrow if the weathers ok ( or at least dry), in the hope that fresh air will do me good.

      Take care,

      Cami Xx

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  • Posted


    Yep, I too had a lot to deal with when my father-in-law died. He was our last parent between us, and we were only 43/44: we felt like orphans. So I completely understand your fear about losing your parents.

    I'd say that my husband has found losing his father life-changing for him: I think a little bit of him went too. Very sadsad

    Talking would have been great for me: meds, no thanks.  I'm pretty good at showing my feelings/venting my spleen etc. 

    I know its cliche'd but time really is a great healer.

    I think you should spend all the time you want with your parents: that's a lovely thing to have. And don't forget: as you see them age, so do they see it in you too (Bonnie Raite sang about that toolol!!)

    Go give your ol' man a hug and a kiss:  I'm sure just by posting your message here, you feel better for just getting how you feel off your chest. We're all ears on here, don't forgetwink.

    Chin Up Kiddo.


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