Posted , 2 users are following.

Thanks to everyone who asked about me. My husband thought it would be a nice break to go away in our touring caravan as I was feeling a bit better last weekend, negative thoughts where diminishing, so of we went to pick up caravan that we have stored on a local farm, only to find that it had been broken into, all the importtant things like water butt, waste water container microwave, they had even unscrewed the fire extinguisher of the wall, made a complete mess of the door and lock getting into it. Anyway after borrowing the things we needed from family we set off to Bala in Wales, I felt great , no stress or anxiety until we came to put the awning up and realised they had even robbed the curtains and tie down pegs for the awning, what low life people we have in this country.

So while we are away, we recieve a telephone call to say that a close friend has passed away, the funeral is tomorrow, which is why Im back so soon.

Couldnt relax,maxed out on diazapine, that doesnt even touch the anxiety

I was ok until last night, woke up wretching this morning, tremor is back

and the aggitation in my legs, cannot eat as stomach cannot tolerate food

so I no its not the right thing to do but I have drank a bottle of wine, just to get some relief,I know I will feel worse tomorrow but who cares.

Back to see psych on wednesday if I last that long.

T o Pooh Bear I have tried sertraline and it didnt help, my psych wont prescribe anti depressants when he knows I only have anxiety.

By the way has anybody read on one of the other forums, somebody wrote that there psych had told them buspirone was only a placebo.

Love to you all, and wishing well.


Danielle xxx

0 likes, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • Posted

    Danielle I'm sorry that you are still suffering. hopefully the buspirone will start working soon. I have never taken setraline you must be cofusing me with someone else. My psychiatrist has prescribed mirtazapine as a boost to the other medication that I'm on. I haven't taken it just for anxiety. My depressive illness produced the anxiety and the racing thoughts hopefuly the mirtazapine will help this.
  • Posted

    Danielle confused pooh bear with me, i take sertraline.

    Danielle, most anti depressants treat anxiety, that is why your doctor probably prescribed them. There are not many prescribed drugs that treat anxiety alone diazepam being one but being so addictive doctors are reluctant to prescribe it. Hope the buisperone starts working for you :wink: xxx

  • Posted

    Im not doing to well on this new med, Ive been taking it now for two and a half weeks, still got this nervous trembling in my legs, wretching as soon as I wake up before im even out of bed, nausea that lasts all day and gets worse if I eat the smallest amount, and now an hour after taking it my head aches and I get a feeling like my brain is sloshing about in my head, very odd. I have also lost a lot of weight. Back to see the psych on wednesday. Didnt have depression before, but I can feel it coming on. Dont know if I want to carry on with this med, its doing nothing.

    I just want to be me again and med free.

    Love to all


  • Posted

    :shock: Trembling legs, sweats, pins and needles, crying actually would rather blank out , seemed to last forever this morning, scared i feel like this again. Hmmmm,,,anyone, anyone, can they help???? So embarassed as to the sight I was this morning, should i continue?
  • Posted

    Awwwwwww, me again, has anyone else had pins and needles in both hands due to taking this me? Feeling a bit better...............yeah.......I slept, like the baby I never was.
  • Posted

    Ditched them. Made me throw. Not taking them, and maybe its the fact I survived that vomiting session amd I am still here, that right now, I am still on to pof the world. Dont worry folks, One day you will reach this pluto planet that I am on. I totally understand how frustrating it all can be, eve just on visiting your gps surgery.

    I am not going back to mine. Ive had eneough of all that. Feel a disgrumbled about that....I wonder if my partner saw him , or something.....men eh?

    I mean, really frustrating, I dont think many peopl like ,me , (eye well thas just too bad, who cares what others think). My partner has done something to my email and now cant speak to my mum. What is gong on?

    So looking forward to getting away....I might not come back. Ive ha dit up to hear, with my mum , my dad, my sister, my partner, my stepdad my step mum, my GP, In fact, honestly , I think the only people that I managed to get through to (maybe , in the end was my CPN) and my children know me in side out :lol:

    Maybe I should ring her and tell her whats happenend, ouch no, it can wait , its the weekend, The por woman...If I were a CPN, id be on bags off pilss, and downinn somethin at night, I f I were a doctor Id have Aspergers, and If I were a nurse, id be BPD (whoops) according to others I am that. Huh :lol: Kathryn.....there is no [b:5b1f76da53]such thing as an expert :lol: 8) :oops: :P HUH, :roll: JUST ME![/b:5b1f76da53]

  • Posted

    :shock: [b:bc6d15c418]aLL THE YOUNG DUDES, CARRY THE NEWS...AWWW.i[/b:bc6d15c418]
  • Posted

    Well, ive had somesort of upaet tummy. I do not know what to donow, Ive not taken this drug since Friday....anyone, advice/help would be good? I dont want to fall back into the pits. The only place I want to fall into , is my bed. What should I do? feel so stupid, and too scared to ring my CPN.
  • Posted

    Hey danielle, I am new to this drug. My last consultation with my GP was hard going-well for me - someone with very little back bone. I sometimes drink , and whenits bad, have an entire bottle of wine. Are you a mother? For us mums a bottle is regarded as not very much? However, I simply cannot cope if I drink this amount. Ive been nothing but honest with my GP, who probably multiplies my intake by 3....who knows......but, my honesty is for my sake and no one elses. I dont like the facts that this will inevitably put me on the \"last to be treated list\" However, I am trying my best, though threw up Friday night after everything seemed okay, and yesterday was in a n extremely good mood, but last night never took no pill, and feeling incredibly weak. It took me a while to go the full dose and now ive effed it up. :oops: I do not know what to do. I certainly know I cant drink on this drug(thankfully). I do not want my doctor to judge me anymore than he allready has, I ffel really hurt when he was hard on me, It made me think , i wish you did not know, or perhaps, like my partner , you too think I deserved it.

    On another note, I have dealt with a number of deaths in my life, even a close friend of mine hung himself when my first born was 3 weeks old......He was 23 yearss old. I dont think I will ever get over it. regardless, of whatever torture I have been undergone, I read some posts of woman who have lost children or have undergone hurrendous teatment, and feel ashamed that I have drunk, taken laxatives, (yawn) bored the pants off my doctors ; when people suffer in so many un mentionable things. i am far from stupid, though quite possibly , far from being near to clever.

    Your little episode with your caraven....sorry to be insensitive...(it is not nice being tormented like that ) but sorry, it reminded me of my step gran. I only had one grandad, that I met, i was very close to him, yet he would not live in his house. Nope, he chose to live life in his girlfriends caravn. When he died, everyone knew, and some we gob////broke into my step grans caravan......all they took was a pot of homemade stew :shock: In the end, she was soo tormented that she got a dog 75+ gets a puppy who wore a chip round its collar to trigger her alarms :lol: I mean, there is a lovely cottage round the corner, ,but no no she loved her caravan. Perhaps she thought she was on holiday for her retirement, who knows.

    In my 4th yr at Uni, my mum and I discovered her dead. She had a massive heart attack. :cry: sad but true, as she was not a blood relative it did not hurt as hard...my sister and I went to her funeral....What a state,,,did not cry, or anything, and we stood as her coffin was lowered into the depths with her prior family. Sorrry, but I was very very close to my grandad, I was by his bedside everyday until he passed away. He took sooo long to die that we planned his death wishes,..he had a humanistic funeral...my sister painted a magnificent painting of him, and he was cremated. his ashes sprinkled in Loch Lomond. Sometimes I imagine him standing there tall and proud, straight back with his stong hands and his trendy DM, and his partick patter, God I miss him. I want a cuddle form my grandad. Even find the shaky hand thing reassuiring.....there will never be another man like him.....he smelyt of Loch Fyne kippers and blue chees and the ocassional dram of White Mackay :lol: I am sure he usd t ofeed it to me on a teaspoon as a baby.

    So pal, its all his fault+ the fact my mum took packets of valium and prozac, while expecting me is fine. It was the toothache,

    Anyway, tummy cramps, must go,

  • Posted

    My stomach looks like Ive just eaten an elephant. Sorry guys, this sounds vain, but although my mum resnets me aying this [b:2c9df594d0]I cant take this pill for fear I will get fat......The pressure I had from her , especially in teenage years was incredible...has she simplrf forgotten. Christ, Id pick an appple up at 9pm, and shed say...Dont eat at this time of night, youll get fat. And sorry to say it, her sister died at a young a age, she was a big lady but so loving and kind. I think it freaked my mum out a little and shed eat no more than a sandwhich a day. I can honestly report this......I did not have a problem I used to sneak my food into my bedroon and have little feast to myself whilst watching TV or doing my hoemwork, But then an dher e I go with the oh but I but, three bags full but, and I wonder if GPs do read these postings, :lol: :oops: Mine must hate me, if they do. Anyway s first id sneak food to eat....Then gradually mum would not be home, so I would not eat and only eat at night. The guilt and despair I felt. Coz tut tut, I ate, would drive me mental. So Id thum p my head of to music dancing hours away to thump thum p thum p tryiong to burn of the calories.

    As a teenager, I resented the way my mum heavily petted her boyfriend , honestly, seeing them snog or kiss and cuddle put me off my meals, and then Id eat virtually nothing, for months,....then binge on Macaroni Cheese, rice pudding, chocolate blue cheese peanut butter with golden syrup spread on toast. The stop feel so guilty and not eat for months. before I had children Id sit and woud be able to feel the bones in my bottom hurt with the pain. I would wear thrumpy, (or is if frumpy clothes to hide my body).

    After everything , after having children, and believe me it was a huge hurdle, could not sit still for the 40 weeks, permanently worried about childbirth, made it such an issue it became one (as one does) The second time round , dreaded the brth, shone a torch up well you know what so as to show her the way, god it worked, out she popped 2hours later, just made it to hospital, could not walk , and sister standing holding my pants in the air thinking wtf. Why is she groaning like that? Then rushed to the |HDU section , an I am panicking thinking hit whats happpened..hEartbeat raised, etc, and then the nurse says Push...I am thinking this is not possible, this is nothing compared to the right up your ares pain (Iam ging to split in 2), nope felt nothing, honestly cansya that thrush is more painful , anyway pushed baby out, fell out with in minutes, but chord tangled round neck they check her shes okay hand her to me, then examine her hole in her bum ...sorry indentation above bum,,, its nothing shes okay then sucks my nipples for Scotalnd. I stand up and shake, and shake and shake, and midwive injects something in to me....dont know what it was, as when I stand masses of blood are running down mr,, like the 10 month period I had missed so then shake someore and then ask my partner (god forbid ) to hold me in the shower ) for I could not sto pshaking. Little becca sleeps with her thumb in her mouth, swiftly they move me into a room a labou suite with the moving bed, Did not sleep and got really frustrated all night long, I knew partner and sister at home together drinking, I wanted to be at home withh my precious 2 year old. I did not sleep for mayybe 12 days afterwards...then when it caught up on me could not get out of bed. Mum would shout at ne for not answering the door, I never stuck up for myself. Got over all that thn e partners trying to punch me with baby in pouch...i run out the house quietly crying. My decline , my loss, go to shop and buy my wine. :cry: I will never forget the pain the heartache the realisation that no one should trust anyone. This was the start of hell for me......and boy it got worse...How the hell did I get onto this subject????WTF is going on with me, tummy giving me jip and had the wors

  • Posted

    Well Tiny, what are you going to do? So tempted to walk out this flat , buy lots of pills and finish meoff...actually thinking, i might just do that. had my mother listened to me in the first pace, she would not have included us in the holiday.

    Just yelled at lurch, as my trust issues have taken over, I cant stand the man, I cant stand him.....I wish hed just go. Appparently I am a head case and Ive mad it all up! Hmpf....gee thanks. well, my last words to him were loving...If he were so loved up by me well, why has he never bothered to even ask . ho I am????? You should see him drowl hanging out his mouth and yes hes got a man cold....oh my god. you must be dying.....get out my house...leave me alone dont fiuckkin ever look in my direction as oh my god there is no saying what I might do............God sh*t , I feel sick...Is no one listening,... someon help me, I am so sad alone upset, Ive even put a chair agisnt my door so he cant come in my room , ive also done it so his elderly father cant come in, so I can get a kip and then take my fat pill tonight...Who the f invented this drug..? Ah , how clever a pill.....that make you increase appetite, and slow down maetabolic rate ...just so you can feeel happy. Not for me thanks......sh*t that s it, I dont know Ive been in and out my gps, he possibly hates me to, its allright though, coz even my children hate me, even I hate me,, Ive got to go now. Thanks.

    (Sorry but your post has been edited. Lin, Lead Moderator Patient UK Experience Forum)

  • Posted

    :shock: :oops: :roll: Is it normal to put on soo much weight in the first 10 days, honestly, at this rate Ill have to buy another wardrobe, my fly now keeps falling down as my belly has gotten even bigger.

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