urgent advice needed

Posted , 8 users are following.

My husband, Jim, has got himself down to thre cans a day, which in itself is a miracle. My problrm is that I simply can't get him near a doctor for any furtheer, life-saving treatment. Have any of you got any ideas?

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  • Posted

    Hi Tess is there any chance that the doctor might call out to the house to see your husband ? I am new to this site (1wk) so forgive me if that sounds stupid as I don't know the whole story. Just wanted you to know there are people out there that are here to listen to you x

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  • Posted

    As has been suggested, a house call is one option. However, there is no point in talking to someone that doesn't want to listen.

    More importantly, we could do with knowing the facts.

    What have you said to him to go to the doctor's and what his his reply and reasoning for not going?

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    • Posted

      I have said that now his drinking is under control, he shold have his LFTs checke again - also his HbA1c.

      , which is a test for the diabetes is being controlled. I have also ddiscussed naltrexone with him but he he is emphatic that he doesn't want a pill that stops his desire to drink - he likes it so much that he can't see the point of taking a pill to stop hhis desire for it. I think this is because he knows that with all his symptoms he will probably die within a year or so, so he might as well die whilst having pleasure - alcohol.

      Jim has never liked going to doctors, for any reason. If I suggest that we go together so that they can check his general condition, he will get drunk before he goes, which is his way of calming himself down before hearing what he believes might be bad news.

      A few years ago he told me that he'd been having chest pain. When I aasked for how long, he said six months! This is typical of Jim. His head is in the sand and he just doesn't think doctors can do anything for him. I did manage to drag him to the doctor for the chest pain (eventually amd after five hundred arguments) and the doctor checked everything and said it was anxiety and not related to his heart. Needless to say, the chest pains stopped immediately.

      He had an appalling upbringing in a children's home, where abuse of every kind was a daily occurence. People in any kind of 'authority' therefore terrify him. I am quite sure that he has AUD because of all the terrible abuse - and he agrees, when I can get him to talk about it.

      The doctor who is overseeing my diazepam detox is also in charge of alcohol services in the borough, and is in favour of TSM. This doctor has helped me enormously and knows all about Jim by now. He keeps saying BRING HIM to your next appointment, but if I did, I have a feeling that Jim would get drunk before we arrived.

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    • Posted

      'I think this is because he knows that with all his symptoms he will probably die within a year or so, so he might as well die whilst having pleasure - alcohol.'

      I can empathise with that, and if I were in the same situation, I would do exactly the same. When you know your time is up or near, you have a choice of prolonging the agony or going out on a high note.

      Probably your best chance is a home visit, but do not try and 'spring' this upon him. He will feel more at ease because he is on 'home turf', but this must be an agreed visit by the GP.

      You will have to talk beforehand with the GP, as there must be some benefit for your husband. What is he going to get if he drops the alcohol, because if it is just a few more months, it will not seem worth it.

      There has to be something in the deal for him, something to make it worth his while really cutting down or stopping all together. If there is nothing but bad news, he will bury in the bottom of a bottle.

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    • Posted

      My diazepam doctor, reckons that there is a chance of prolonging normal life if he can get to see Jim - and has suggested that I ask him to accompany me to my next appointment and then Dr. G can ask Jim how he is. If Jim bites, well and good. If he listens to ehat Dr. G says about TSM it might be worth it. Just having a GP visit won't do any good. Jim has no relationship with any of the doctors at our surgery and to be honest, neither have I. I see a different one every time I go. It's Dr. G. at the addiction centre who wants to to see Jim and who I believe is the only person who can help him. Thanks for your answer Rh. It helps to know that people are thinking of us. T

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