URGENT DESPERATE PLEASE HELP~~~

Hi everyone i hope you are all keeping well. I am new here. Sorry I have tried to keep this brief but it is a bit difficult. I am in desperate need of help.I am 33 I currently have no quality of life I am just existing not living. My pain is not being managed and I am in desperate need of help please.

In 2007 I was told after two years of leg pain that got worse over the two years and no back pain I had an l5 prolapsed disc with caudia equina I had a discectomy two weeks after being diagnosed. After surgery I had back pain that got worse and so did my legs. I was on oxy norm and oxycontin on and off until 2011. I ended up with glandular fever I was so exhausted of the pain and n having to go off sick from work I went on fentanyl patches and continued to have oxynorm for my break through pain. Unfortunately I ended up loosing my job. I found a new consultant after my first surgery from 2009 and I had a Plif fusion in 2012. I was told by my gp that i may become addicted to pain medication not that i would. My mum passed away in 2013 in quite tragic circumstances. On and over for around two years I ended up with a drug problem I had a car crash in 2014 a van hit me on the motor way I walked out of the crash and it wasnt until two weeks after i was in unbearable pain my fentanyl patch was put up to 100mcg and i was put on 500mg of oramorph a day. I ended up with a new doctor at the same practice who over night put my fentanyl patch down to 75mcg and 40mg of oramorph a day. I then moved and the doctor at the new practise did not want me on any opiates. I was given a reduction programme to bring me right down over 8 weeks. I said i am willing to reduce slowly but that is too quick, the pain clinic and my gp wouldnt listen. i ended up needing to use heroin and when i tiold the doctor and pain clinic my gp wouldnt complete the programme they took all my opiate pain relief away. the pain consultant told me to go on methadone and my pain relief would be given back when i was stable. I needed 10omg of a day. the pain clinic then told me that i hadnt been on it long enough. I was giving clean tests. I then hadnt been on it long enough. then i was on too much ,methadone and needed to come down to 30mls of methadone. I did this and then they refused to give it back. I changed doctors again when the doctor stopped prescribing my pain relief and my new surgery will not do anything without direction from the pain clinic even though I have been clean for over two years. I do not want to be on the high doses i was on before but i do feel i need a 25 or 37mcg fentanyl patch and ocynorm for my break through pain. These were the levels i was going to be given by the pain clinic and my gp.

My drug worker is happy with my progress and doesnt see why i cant be given pain killers a si hadnt been on heroin for long and do meetings etc.

I currently have another prolapse at the top of my scr that has been there for about 8 years but my consultant doesnt really feel he can do anything to help. I ha some prolapses in my neck from the car crash that now show up a scoliosis. I want to go back to work and have some quality of life and go back to the gym and swimming a mile a day at the gym. I am not trying to get pain killers to have a buzz I want them to pain my pain and so I can live my life. That is the buzz I want living. When my pain relief was taken away my weight doubled in a few months I now have type two diabetes. I have lost around 5 stone but i still have afew stone to go.

I am willing to go private to get the pain relief i need or order it from somewhere If I really had to, i dont really want to do that if it can be helped. please can someone help i am desperate. I have had injections in the past and have asked for them again but they do not feel they will help me as in dint notice any improvements when i last had them. That was 7 years ago. i genuinely just want my life back please help.

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