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I've reached the end of what I can even cope with anymore. I'll try to keep the story short. I'm a 31 year old male and my life, I thought, was just beginining. Anyway, so it started in may with a UTI, the result most likely the cause of co-codamol dehydrating me. I didn't recognise the symptoms however, as they weren't as severe as I've had previously so I didn't pay much attention, I could still urinate so it didn't bother me that much and it wasn't overly frequent.
I soon developed some slight back pain, and my mom being a nurse, I consulted her who suggested just to keep drinking and drinking. Eventually the pain worsened and the urinating became more difficult, so I got some antibiotics from doctor, nothing special. Unfortunatley due to social circumstances shall we say, I missed 3 days of the course, but had no problems, so finished when I could. 2 days after, it felt as if the UTI returned. I deserved that.
But the doctor didn't want to give me antibiotics again so soon. From June until the start of August, my life has since being ruined. I could uinate, but I'd be left with a constant stinging sensation at the end of my penis which worsened when I stood up and even more so when walking. So I'm left to conclude "why bother leaving the house" Psychologically it was destroying me, this constant pressure, these constant sharp pains. During July, I suffered with an unexpected bout of what i assume was hayfever. Out of desperation for just a second of comfort I started taking psuedoephadrine and antihistamines - and mainly because I was staying with friends, didn't want to complain or admit that I every step I take is tortue.
After doing some online reading because I got no advice from my doctor apart from "drink two litres of water everyday" - I stopped drinking diet soda, stopped the decongestants and reduced the antihistamines. I've been drinking minium 2 litres everyday for atleast the past two weeks.
Thankfully, the pain at the end of my penis has now stopped. The pain was like someone sticking a needle in it, slicing across it.
But this is where I am now, and why I realise I have no dignity, and why I realise I haven't left the house for a week. Standing up to urinate is pretty much impossible. Sitting down is more effective. But today the uncomfortable feeling was so horrible, I tried to go to sleep, after sitting on the toilet for 20 mins continually trying to push. Upon lying down, that uncomfortable feeling returned. I stand up, the feelings gone. I sit down, it's there slightly, I lay down, and its impossible to ignore.
So I laid in the bath and pushed, and finally I could urinate without straining to the point of making my face turn red. I laid in the bath, urine around me, and I felt like a baby, and I felt any enthusiasm for any life drain from me. I don't want to leave the house anymore, I don't want to see my girlfriend, my friends or my family, I just want to curl into a ball and forget everything.
I've tried to see a urologists but the hospital "hasn't released their appointment" yet. By the time they do "release" these, I'll be back at work. I have no faith they'll be able to help me. I have no energy, and no enthusiasm for anything anymore. I feel like this is all my own fault, I deserve it.
I'm here because I have nowhere else to go. I can't talk to anyone else about this, its disgusting, I feel disgusted, I feel filthy, dirty, vile. I cant stand to be touched.
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