Using relationships as a crutch for depression.
Posted , 6 users are following.
To cut a long story short it seems that break-ups are my main trigger for bouts of depression. I feel extremely low for moths afterwards and feel completely alone. It's only when I meet somebody new that I start to feel any better.
I thought up until now that it was just normal, that everybody feels unhappy when they're single. But since my most recent (and most devastating) break-up with my boyfriend of two and a half years I'm feeling worse than ever. I have terrible anxiety attacks and feelings of utter hopelessness. I anticipated I'd spend the rest of my life with him but a combination of factors, including my increasing low moods in response to him seeming to become disinterested in me, caused him to end the relationship. I've spoken more openly about my feelings with my parents and they recommended I see a GP. I am now on ADs and they make me feel worse.
I just wanted to reach out and see if anyone else feels like love is the only cure? I'm worried that I'm going to forever sabotage my relationships by being too dependant on my SO, by pressuring them and making them feel responsible for me when I get low. My self esteem isn't entirely based around whether I'm with another person or not but I feel like every boyfriend I have had has run scared because I'm too intense, because they can't cope with the fact they make me happier than anything else. I want to know how to combat this without feeling like I can never show sadness or low mood or panic around the person I love incase it scares them. I want to know how to change my behaviour so that we're both happy. My most recent ex was generally supportive and comforting to me on my bad days for two years but I think he got to the point where my demand on his time frustrated him. I'm getting the medical help avaliable, I've registered for counselling and CBT but I'm really worried that if I meet anyone in the future that I'm going to just throw all my happiness onto them again, let joy from their company trick me into thinking I'm well and then suffer another terrible bout of heartbroken depression when they inevitably can't deal with me anymore.
1 like, 5 replies
Chante elinsarah
Posted
Chante elinsarah
Posted
nick50004 elinsarah
Posted
I hope you are okay, and know that you're not alone.
rlemar04 elinsarah
Posted
Oh wow, yeah this is exactly what I'm going through like almost exactly. The guy who I was with on/off for ten years, was very abusive in the beginning physically, and maybe at the end emotionally. I don't really know what to do, and I'm afraid I use the abuse as a crutch now. Like I'm always going to be broken.
Hakuna_matata elinsarah
Posted
Oh babe your not alone a lot of people find they are stronger with a partner it gives them strength may I ask are you partners normally the same sort of person as in qualities morels etc if so maybe you feel your lacking those qualities or they amplify them in you giving you a greater sense of confidence. When you break up with some ody it is hard you tend to make that person your everything right? My advice to you is to slow things down even when you have a relationship do things for yourself ie hobbies or things you enjoy doing try to remember you were once happy before you got consumed in relationships you just have to figure out what's different in your life now maybe you should instead of seeing any new partners every night etc do things with your friends having alone time in a relationship is as important as having quality time with your partner ya know you not only develop trust but you appreciate the time you have together you make more effort together and things don't go as stale and monotonous thinking of you in your tough time take care