Vaginal repair operation at 45
Posted , 11 users are following.
Hi. I have a grade 1 posterior vaginal wall prolapse. I was referred by my GP to the hospital. I went through a Defecating Proctogram which was undignified, then months of physiotherapy. My physiotherapist advised me not to have the op unless I need it, that was her opinion until she saw it! She thought the front walls were prolapsing too. Needless to say the vaginal wall is still prolapsed. I went back to the hospital and said my symptoms hadn't alleviated. I still pee a little when I cough, sneeze or laugh, but don't use a pad. I have trouble making a bowel movement, which means it all seems to get stuck in the bend, or bulge caused by the back wall being weak. It takes anything from 30 to 40 mins to feel 'clear'. I have to do the unthinkable and insert two fingers inside my vagina to push the back wall in order to clear my back passage, something that disgusts me. I am 45 and refuse to go on like this. It isn't age that caused it in my opinion, its because I gave birth to 3 big babies, my youngest is 10. I have a narrow pelvis and was advised to have a C-section if I have anymore, needless to say I'm not. My last baby had double shoulder dystocia and I had an episiotomy and the doctor had to manually manoeuvre her shoulder out with his hand! As a result my vagina looks like its been turned inside out. Think of blowing up a balloon and letting the air out. You still have a balloon, but its out of shape and stretched, or think of a new rosebud and put it next to a rose in full bloom, you get the idea. The consultant said I am only a grade 1 and they don't like to operate because there is a chance the prolapse could return. Because of my symptoms, ie the trouble making a bowel movement, they are willing to do the operation under general anaesthetic. Has anyone else on here had the op with a grade 1? I feel like I don't have the right to have the op under the NHS as it is only a grade 1 and there's worse cases. It has affected me psychologically and physically though and impairs on my life, work especially. I work in a nursery and can't keep dashing off to the loo. My husband said it looks and feels different, but he doesn't mind, even though I feel disgusting. Is it wise to have the op at a grade 1?
1 like, 22 replies
alisa66214
Posted
Hi girls.
?So I've had my date through for my back vaginal wall repair. She said she is going to cut the back wall and stitch it up to make it stronger. She said it was a grade 1 and I am still young, so they don't usually do surgery on it, but I have trouble doing a bowel movement and have to use support to go, so she's doing it. The only problem is the date is next month and I am a pre-school teacher, so it means time off work, unpaid time off, except for SSP. Also my boss told me we have no cover and could I move the date. The trouble is it's the NHS, so they said they can give me one more date in June, but can't tell me when, and if I turn that down I have to go back to my GP to be referred again! It's a nightmare as I didn't realise you need 8 weeks off work. I feel so depressed as it looks like I have to turn down the surgery. I know I can't choose as I'm lucky the NHS will do it, but I really was hoping for it to be during the summer holidays in July/August. My husband says we can't afford for me to be off, as I do cleaning part time to make my money up as my salary is crap. After all that I now can't see how I am ever going to have the surgery. Also I was told by the consultant that the failure rate is high and to really think about whether to have the op or not. Has anyone else had just the back wall repair? If so, how long were you resting afterwards?
Jellybeanz alisa66214
Posted
I think your boss is being unreasonable. Your health comes first! Don't you DARE turn down the surgery. Would your boss if it was her? (assuming it is a woman :D ) I know it puts them in a difficult position, but what are you in??? They will find a way to cope so don't let them guilt trip you out of this. You NEED it. If it is genuine sickness - which it is, he/she has to accept that and cannot discriminate against you. If she does take it up with ACAS. It is your right! If she wants to tell you when you can have the surgery ask her to fund it privately and then you can pick your dates. The NHS does not give you that option!
I had back wall only and it improved life so much. People who don't have to live with it do not understand how horrible and depressing it is. Money-wise you will find a way to cope somehow so just do it girl.
Good luck - and be strong. xxx
vicky35395 alisa66214
Posted
You sound so down about it I think you have answered your own question. I’m 3 weeks post op and for the first time in ages I could go for a BM without using my fingers !
I don’t know about the financial aspect and entitlements to being off work as I luckily get paid. It seems unfair that your employer is asking if the op isn’t necessary and making you feel guilty ontop of feeling down with it all. I really feel for you and wish you weren’t feeling so down.
I do feel better now I’ve had mine done, still feels quite odd down there but don’t think they ever go back to “normal”
X
Sannystac07 alisa66214
Posted
Jellybeanz alisa66214
Posted
Hi Alisa. I had the same - due to large babies, a heavy job on my feet ...and then the menopause hit to boot, which only made things worse! I understand all of your symptoms and how it impacts on your life and self image....been there, done that. But having a bit of medical knowledge I knew that the physio would do absolutely nothing for me. I was NOT prepared to wait another year feeling how bad I was - and it would only get worse - before they decided to operate just because it is 'protocol' to do physio first. I am a person not a statistic! So I arranged my surgery privately. I have not looked back. I am still not as good as new, but lets face it, I will never be a 20 year old again so I never expected perfection. However the improvement to life is really good I can poop without using digits! I am also far more comfortable walking about, no bulgy, loose, heavy feeling, - and several more improvements too. I say go for it! but be aware that you may feel well after but must not overdo it or it may return. Be kind to yourself and let your large size kids pamper you. Play the guilt card, after all this is all down to them isn't it?
Take it really slowly especially at first, and seriously avoid hard stools. Use softeners if you need to (esp at first) and be aware that most of the pain killers tend to constipate so use them whenever you take those. I just make sure I eat a high fibre diet so I didn't need the softeners since I stopped the pain killers in the first week. I am 5 months post op now and just about feeling that things are ok. I had a lot of rectal pressure in the first few months. Nothing bad but annoying, like I had a constantly 'loaded' rectum. It is just swelling and scarring and does eventually pass, but now looking forward to a much more normal life. I just avoid lifting and high impact activities like the plague! Hope this helps.