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first of all thanks to all those who replied to my previous post and gave me helpful advice.
I am here to share with you an update on my condition. I am now entering the 8th week on Venlafaxine. I have been on 75mg for 2 weeks, 112.5mg for another 2 weeks and currently at 150mg for about 4 weeks.
I am being treated for anxiety and panic with secondary depressive episodes, starting in June. Before switching to Venlafaxine, I have been on Paroxetine for 5 weeks, but it didn't work (and actually worsened the panic situation and the depressive side of my condition). I had been using Paroxetine successfully in several spells since 2014.
As I explained in a previous post, Venlafaxine almsot immediately reduced anxiety/panic while it seems to have triggered (or at least to have been ineffective in preventing) depressive episodes. Since week 5, these bouts of depression had turned into moments of deep, but more "natural" sadness. A similar feeling has been reported by other users as well.
By week 6 I was feeling generally better and though I was on the way to recovering just like the other times when I was on Paroxetine. The symptom I have the hardest time dealing with is anxiety and panic attacks, and those were gone, so I felt much more confident in my ability to tackle the remaining symptoms with the help of therapy and without changes in medication.
Unfortunately everything crumbled down last weekend (6.5 weeks). I began having episodes of increased and perceptible hearbeat. At first they weren't so bad, but my anxiety returned predominant on Sunday and yesterday has been the worst day since several weeks.
My mood is very low and I feel like the steps forwards I though I was making are just lost now. I really cannot stand the idea of another change in meds. My psychiatrist agrees and says I should keep on taking Venlafaxine and wait for it to stabilize. At the moment, though, I feel completely hopeless. I cannot function properly, but neither do I want to be at home doing nothing, because I fear that the suicidal thoughts I have been having in July and early August are more likely to come back if I just lay in bed on my own. Apart from my illness, I am satisfied with my life and believe that all things that do not work at the moment can be fixed with the help of my therapist. I am terribly scared that this illness will take push me over the edge, because that's really not what I want.
I am sorry to put you through yet another negative post. Thanks for understanding.
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