Venting

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I had a tri. fracture on June 23 of this year while trying to get a taco ( fell at the restraunt door go figure).  Threw most of it I have been up beat.  I was making jokes at the ER as I went threw some of the worse pain I have ever felt.  I have even felt ok with the pain after surgery even tho I was Screaming in pain cause the nerve block did not work.  But threw it all I had my wonderful girlfriend to help me make food and get around.  

But it two days ago she started college.  I am now home alone with NWB with a 7 yo with sever ADHD and a 10 that like to start fights.  When they don’t want to listen they just run upstairs where they know I cannot get to.  It is a struggle for me to make food, get to the bathroom, or do anything on my own.  I just am felling abandoned.  

Sorry for all the downer talk .  I just needed to vent and I hope that I am not alone at this time of weakness.

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    I am extremely sorry for what has transpired in your life. I feel your pain. I went through the exact surgery and it's horrifying. I spent days crying due to depression and pain. The one thing I hated was, asking my family for help. My husband and daughter was very supportive of me. However, I knew he was frustrated because he had to nurse me back to health. My daughter was helping to prepare meals as well.

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    • Posted

      Feel better. Maybe you can speak to a social worker regarding your issues.
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    • Posted

      Would love to but I have crap insurance and I am in the USA.  So unless I wanna go broke venting it is cheaper this way lol!!! Gotta love high deductibles! On my plan it is $75 per hour to talk to a social worker. 
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    • Posted

      I don’t mind asking for help but both of our families are out of state so we have no “blood“ around here to help.  Luckily I have wonderful friends that are helping when they can and that is helping take a load off.  I can get the kids frustration.  The little girl was helping out all the time when I first got hurt.  Now she just asks when I am going back to work.  Guess the novelty wore off.  I still love the crazy kids even when they make me want to rip my hair out. 
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  • Posted

    You are definitely not alone! I had almost the same injury - tri-moeller fracture + dislocation ORIF, 11 screws and a plate. I broke my ankle on the 5th of June, had surgery on the 11th and just started PWB yesterday. There were definitely times when I laid in bed and cried because 1) it hurt and it seemed to be endless and 2) it wasn't fair. I was /supposed/ to spend my summer going on a two-week honeymoon with my wife. Instead I wasn't even able to go to the bathroom on my own. There were some low days. 

    Things I found that helped:  a friend lent me a knee scooter and it was life changing. It allowed me to get out of the bed, get around the house and it frees up your hands so I could make myself coffee (a revelation) and when we went out I could actually stay out for longer than the twenty minutes it would have been with just crutches. I also found trying to get out of the house at least once a day really helped -- even if it was just going to the back yard and drinking a glass of tea on my porch. Natural light helps a surprising amount. I can't imagine going through this with kids--especially rambunctious ones that don't listen, so I know that must be impossibly hard for you. I also found that family and friends weren't joking when they asked if I needed any help. They were thrilled when I would reach out to them and most of the time it was just asking for company--I know your GF is back in school, but just having a friend come over for a couple hours a day may help with the feelings of abandonment. 

    I'm so sorry you're stuck in a low place right now, it definitely happens with this kind of injury! Hang in there though -- I will say that taking my first step (even in a boot with crutches) yesterday felt like winning a marathon. There is light at the end of the tunnel. This too will pass. You can do it! 

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    • Posted

      WE DID have the same break.  Mine was tri-moeller fracture + dislocation, 1screws 9 pins and a plate  goes about half way up my calf.  All breaks were accute commuted fractures.  The reset to the dislocation the day of the break and the ORIF two weeks later
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  • Posted

    You are definitely not alone. I broke my Tibia and Fibula on June 24. I have a 4 yr old, 2 yr old and 6 month old. Fortunately my sister in law has been living with us for the summer but she's going back to school in 2 weeks. Life will be much harder when when she leaves.

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    • Posted

      Wow. .... I pray for your sanity.  I am here to vent with when she leaves if you want.  We can be the baby gip gang wink
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  • Posted

     OMG no you need to vent sounds like you’ve got your hands full. I know I’m seven weeks in for double  double ankle fractures  and you get lonely and nobody understands and well you get depressed. In addition to that you have to take care of little ones. I don’t see how. Maybe some strategy talk with 💗Mom💗 when she gets home from college in the evenings I suppose because asking you to take care of kids  is a lot. There has to be some kind of reward strategy you can implement to get them to behave. I’m a special ed teacher sometimes we give three rubber bands that they can wear on the wrist and I warned them that I’m gonna take a rubber band if they don’t do what I say and then I take a rubber band.  iwhen 💗Mom💗 gets home and each of them at least has one rubber band on the wrist then they get something special either a trip for ice cream or something else nice.  Like a dollar to spend at the dollar store. The same thing can be done with tokens and the tokens can be kept on the wall or with you.  keep all your tokens get something special lose all your tokens you do not get something special. Doesn’t work for everybody but depending on how severe the ADHD is it could work. Very severe ADHD needs a reward system Maybe   hourly every two hours just depends. What I’m saying is it’s hard for ADHD kids to go all day Waiting on a reward . they may need one more frequently every hour or two or three the point is to keep track and don’t give in. These kids also need lots of stimulation, and if they don’t get enough they can make their own (which can be trouble) keep him busy with lots to do!!!!!

    Don’t feel bad about complaining you have a right to and we here on the blog understand because we’re going through it too. I hope it works out if anything else DM me hope the strategies work. the point is to keep track and don’t give in. 

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  • Posted

    Thanks everyone for the support.  I have just been feeling down.  The kids are my GF and the little boy has not come down stairs except when I am in the bathroom.  I cannot get him to talk to me to give the rewards.  

    Also on a side not has anyone had to get serial casting after this surgery.   My foot will not go into dorsoflexion ( I know I spelled that all wrong).  So they are now recasting me weekly to get the foot into the right position and it hurts like a b$&@$.

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    • Posted

      After my surgery they put the cast on lop sided so I needed a new cast 24 hrs after surgery. Then stitches out at 15 days and my foot couldn't get anywhere near dorsiflexion so they put me in an airboot so I can work on it at home. I am still NWB for 1 more week but my flexibility has increased alot. I put a heating pad on my ankle before I work on flexing my foot and that seems to help but it hurts every time. My doctor highly recommended I get my foot back to neutral before I see him next week or he will have to help me. As a side note the airboot is very hard on my incisions and has opened one of them. I miss my cast, it was so much more comfortable.

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  • Posted

    Sorry for what you are going through. The healing process from an ankle injury is frustrating its self without having other factors to deal with. Are you able to get a knee scooter? It wouldn't help with the kids hiding upstairs, but it would make getting around on the first floor and making food much easier.

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