Very chronic health anxiety

Posted , 7 users are following.

Hey my name is Kira and I am 19. I've just made an account on this site as I am at a loss on what to do or how to overcome this. So let me begin explaining a bit of what I am experiencing.

So here we go.. in the last 3 or so months I have been experiencing really awful health anxiety. I've never been through this before so it's very confronting.. my health and trying to keep myself from dying is literally all I think about from the minute I wake until the minute I fall asleep. So much so that I won't leave my house or even my bed most days. I've formed a few annoying habits for example I check my pulse every 2-5 minutes, poke and prod all over my body looking for tumours (so much so that it's leaving bruises) and have an overwhelming need to check my throat for a lump that I can feel when I've been breathing and drinking. My heart races most of the day so I continuously check it and I also get pains in my left arm and leg that I automatically link to cancer or heart disease. My stomach can make normal noises and catch me off guard and I'll jump straight to "my stomach is about to collapse on itself". I've been in hospital to get checked 7 times in the last few weeks and had numerous doctors appointments. I can barely sleep or function anymore. The lump in my throat is what's plaguing me right now, I only noticed it about 4 days ago and I convinced it is cancer. Someone please tell me there is a light at the end of this horribly dark tunnel? Or at least a glimmer of hope? I'm so scared to die and it's all I think about..

1 like, 7 replies

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Have you spoken to your doctor about this, there are lots of treatment options to help. Do you have good support at home x
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  • Posted

    Hey Kira!m

    It's really good that you're speaking out. I'll tell my experience as I'm being treated from anxiety.

    Everything started for me when I started my internship in Germany, apparently something ticked in my brain, not sure what, and after 3 months of working I had my first panic attack.

    I was so scared that I called 911, they came and said nothing was wrong with me. I was like okay thanks.

    The next day I went to a party, had fun everything was fine. Woke up with a hangover. Half through my day, I could've sworn I was going to die. I started literally running in the street and my flat called an ambulance.

    They came and took me to a different hospital. They told me I was merely bloated.

    This word (bloated) put me into a 6 months loop between doctors. And they kept telling me it's IBS. I do have muscle spasms because of my posture but anxiety makes it worse.

    I did not want to know that it is anxiety, until I gave up. I lost friends, girlfriend, my parents paid huge amounts of money.

    I then booked an appointment with a female Therapist (didn't want males :P) and kept talking for about 3 hours.

    She then started talking, and I swear to you, for the first time in 6 months I saw a glimpse of hope. She started sying exactly what I experience, and what I was ashamed to say. I was so surprised to be understood and not being told to just.. Relax.

    She started explaining why it happens and how. What was the issue. And most importantly, that it is SO easy to solve, it's all about understanding it and taking the right treatment.

    I was so excited and took the medication. Now, after a month and 3 week, I booked my flight to Germany for a 2 weeks holiday. Which is something that IMPOSSIBLE for me to do, I'm sure you can imagine.

    I promise, it is solvable, and the therapist said one thing: after treatment, you will be back as normal as you were before you started worrying, and even BETTER since you'll be much much much wiser.

    I mean, I have friends that experience many things health wise, and I'm the only one who is not scared! At all..

    Trust me, this is an experience and it will pass. It's not lasting :D!

    On the plus side, we have a knowledge in medicine more than anybody our age.

    Find a therapist YOU like, and go. You will feel so much better biggrin))!!

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  • Posted

    . Kiralee I really do feel for ya. I myself am a pulse checker, checking how many BPM and if there is a nice rhythm and the slightest blip freaks me out. To be honest I checked myself for lumps etc as any pain in my body i thought it was cancer. Since I have taken up boxing again, the physical side of things and the pain I endure gives me comfort as I can now relate any pain to boxing. I have been trying really hard not to feel my pulse as apparently it is norm to have extra beats etc. I just need to get back on track as last night has really set me back. I've started this discussion to try and help others and in return that helps me really. People joining this conversation this is the point is needs to stop and we need to work and support each other. I already feel a connection with everyone on here so i am going to give my full support to everyone. Kiralee if you feel frightened at all please contact me and we can help each other, looking for resurgence only makes things worse. The only people that understand are us so from this day the first thing you need to do is stop feeling your pulse, I will do the same and every I will post my progress. Instead of talking about what’s making us bad lets focus on what’s making us better.
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  • Posted

    Pinterest is a great app for so many helpful positive things related to depression and anxiety
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  • Posted

    Hey Kira, just like you I had a moment where I would go to the ER and my doctor's office very frequently because I just couldn't take it anymore. I did start seeing a therapist and started on medication, maybe all of this has helped me. I'm not even sure anymore what helped me, because I have made so many changes in my life.. I do know that CBT definitely helps and medication only works for a few. I was on prozac for a month and one week and I had to stop taking it because the side effects were terrible. I started on propanolol about a week and a half ago and yes it has helped with the palpitations and the tachycardia, but not really a fan of the fatigue. Anyway! Start off with CBT and see how things go, if anything gets worse speak to your doc about so simple meds that may help you get through this.

    Good luck with everything <3>

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  • Posted

    As someone who suffers from severe anxiety, I can assure, if you've been to the doctor and they've checked everything and told you're fine, then there is most likely nothing wrong with you. As for the anxiety, I know how it feels. I've gone to bed lots of times not knowing if I would wake up the next day. The best thing that helps me is forcing myself to go out and surrounding myself with my friends/ family. I know you would probably rather jump off a cliff than to go out, but i'll tell you, it is EXTREMELY toxic being by yourself. You are you're worst enemy (not always). Listen to music, dance! Even if it's you're alone, screw it! Watching youtube videos always makes me feel better. I tend to forget about the world for an hour or 2. Don't take this the wrong way but the only person who can help you, is YOU. Stop worrying about your health so much please, it does nothing good to you.
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  • Posted

    i hate the lump in the throat feeling I'm afraid to eat and take pills feeling like ill choke
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