very depressed and struggling to cope

I presume because you're getting products on the NHS that you've been assessed and have seen your GP. It's obviously abnormal for your urine to be so offensive so I would go back to your GP and ask for a referral to a urologist because in this day and age I do not believe there isn't anything that can be done. You don't say how old you are which is irrelevant really but you need to be able to live a normal life so ask for a referral and it may be an idea if at the same time you ask for a thorough review of your diabetes, ideally with a medical physician at the hospital.

I too am incontinent due to my diabetes and cannot be cured so I get help from the NHS with my continence products. I wet heavily at nightand my wife says there are times when I smell of urine but accepts it as part of me being incontinent. I shower every day and always use wipes when changing myincontinence pads but I am aware that sometimes the smell is often there. I have mentioned this to both my urologistand the continence nurse and have had various tests done and nothing else can be done. 

I'm really sorry to hear how low you are feeling and how hard things are. I can really understand how it makes it hard to go out and is upsetting when you hear people's comments. We meet with so much lack of understanding when we suffer with this condition.

You're clearly doing lots of things to help by having got medical assessments, having such good personal hygiene and drinking enough fluids.

I don't know how helpful this will be but a few thoughts I had are:

Do take care about washing in bleach. I see why you've tried it. But it's harsh enough on your hands let alone the more sensitive skin in the intimate regions. If your skin gets irritated it could lead to infection, which is unpleasant in itself and would worsen any odour.

You mention discharge - would it be worth getting that checked by your gp in case it is because of any infection that could be treated and thus reduce odour? Sorry if you've already done this.

Do the pads you are supplied with fit well? My urine incontinence is frequently heavy and I find that the surest way to prevent odour is ensuring pads fit closely and wear them with close fitting underwear over the top too (even on the occasions I wear diaper style pads with tapes). I guess it's because this is keeping everything airtight. Needless to say if you have a pad leak onto your clothing then odour is more likely but I have noticed it can also occur a little in the absence of any leaks just if the underwear is poorly fitting meaning that if you suddenly wet, the pad no longer sits so close fitting as it gets heavier. As a lady I usually wear tights (hose) to additionally guard against this - which I appreciate you can't do as a male but perhaps tight fitting cycle shorts might help?

The one time I have noticed some odour is getting up in the morning if I have heavily wet at night or if I'm damp when I wake up and then wet myself again before I can get to the toilet. ( Fortunately this is not usual a social problem for me as I live alone though it can be upsetting). Don't feel that there must be odor all the time because you notice it in the mornings.

I really hope you can find something that helps you with this and makes less distress and anxiety for you. I have had incontinence for years now and though I definitely do still get upset by it and have times I feel horrible and disgusting, gradually I have been able to find the ways that work best for me to manage it so it has the least possible impact day to day. And I suppose some level of acceptance of yourself comes with time though I would never want to minimise the importance of getting all the medical help you can too.

Also please can I ask you a question? You mention getting your pads through the NHS. I have had medical investigations (and they are still ongoing because of other gynae issues I'm having). However though I've had incontinence for years I've never been offered pads through the NHS. Is it something the GP can arrange? Is it only available for people with certain medical conditions? Thank you for any advice.

When I first had to wear pads or slip sall th etim eI was upset but gradually just accepted it. Now I just accept it and get on with life. I ha dmany slip ups but now know what works and what doesn't.

hi ive been incon  for about 6 to 9 months not happy for the first 5months i was wet day n night!!!!!  thanks doc!!!!!!!!!  i had to shout at the doc before he would lisen to me and demanded a vist from the incon nurse  i was a caer for 8years and got things done in less time becaues some one had to speak up for them... anyway i get supplys from moorlands now  thank god! sheath catherter day bag n night bag keeps me dry  nurse comes out to see you and shows how to put  them on dont be embarras  i was  its they job  and very good nurses aswell im only 52yo it works

In the US, my doctors prescribed oxybutynin for my dribbling. I leak every day morning at at night. I have diabetes. However, if you have a kidney disease oxybutynin cannot be used

. Any discharge could be an infection, so only a doctor can determine if there is a problem or a STD. I have learned to use padding in my underwear to prevent my urine from wetting my trousers. I ofter use toilet paper since the adult bladder pads are to hot to wear in summer or the winter months. Hope this helps. I am 65 and I have this problem since I was in my 20's.

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