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very depressed, overly sensitive

Posted , 18 users are following.

Nanduff
Nanduff

This is my second bout of PMR.  The first time I really did not experience any side effects of the pred...with the exception of small weight gain and slightly moon faced. 

I have been back on pred for 2 months.  Started at 20mg.  I am now down to 15 mg.  I will be reducing by 1 mg / month until I reach 10 mg.  Then I will reduce by 1/2 mg/month.

Anyway, I am having a very difficult time with depression this time.  I am usually a pretty upbeat person, but I find myself sinking.  I am so unhappy,

I am also starting to have 'mild' suicidal thoughts.. aka maybe I should just take the whole bottle of Attivan.   As quick as the thought enters my mind, its gone. 

Adding to this PMR...my husband passed away 8 yrs ago.  I am now feeling like I did in the 2-3 yrs after. I am 62 yrs old. The only thing that keeps me going are my 9 grandkids.  The problem is that I have built my whole life around only these guys.  Prior to PMR and pred, I was doing fine.

Anyway...has anyone else experienced this. And if so what did you do?

I keep telling myself to stop feeling sorry for myself and move on.

I have no pain, Thank God.  It's just the head confusion, lack of focus and now depression.

Let me know if there are any solutions?

6 likes, 35 replies

35 Replies

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  • gaenor38609
    gaenor38609 Nanduff

    Posted

    Hi Nanduff. I feel the same way, I have GCA, PMR and Diabetes as well as other problems (Arthritis, and so on) I also feel depressed but I think of all the people who would feel my loss if I did anyting stupid. Such as my children, grandchildren my great grandchild, my sisters and my husband so the thoughts of them keep me going doesn't matter how tough the going gets. I still feel that I am better off than my sister who had a massive stroke 2 years ago because her Dr didn't recognise the symptoms of GCA. I also think of all the little children who haven't had a life because of crippling desease. I have taken to painting and find that it takes my mind off myself, I am not very good at painting but it amusses me and if I don't like it I put it in the bin. I am now on my third time down from 60mg of pred and everyttime it get tougher. However chin up and look on the bright side of life I am still walking and can laugh most of the time. Lood luck xxxx You are not alone so many of us have the same thoughts, just think of all the people who would miss you so much. 
    • Anhaga
      Anhaga gaenor38609

      Posted

      Gainor, thank you for sharing your experience.  Good to hear from some one who has found ways to deal with that feeling of helplessness that seems to overwhelm so many of us from time to time.  I took a drawing class this autumn (drawing being one of my loves forever) and it was so much fun, the (male) teacher seemed to be quite happy with his class of middle aged and elderly women students and their lively discussion and much laughter.  I only hope he can find a way to offer the course again in the winter.
    • Nanduff
      Nanduff gaenor38609

      Posted

      Thank you !  I also keep telling myself that things could be so much worse.  It really helps to know that it is a complication of pred and PMR and it will get better!
    • gaenor38609
      gaenor38609 Nanduff

      Posted

      I am slowly getting my life back together again, it has been hard but I am getting there. This group have helped a lot, people are so kind and helpful. You will also get there just be kind to yourself don't over do things. xx

       

  • tony09890
    tony09890 Nanduff

    Posted

    When I first came down with PMR I sunk so low ending it was all I could think of, my arms were my life, without them I can do nothing. Then came uricaria, so now I can't even scratch myself without experiencing pain, I think I must have been a terrible person in a former life,  I'm certainly being made to pay for it now.   

    I'm at the age where l'm probably stuck with both of these conditions for the rest of my life so my life, as I knew it, has gone.   I think it's just a matter of accepting it and finding new interests.   Depression visits me often, along with suicidal thoughts, but then I think of what that would do to my wife and manage to snap back.   

    Keeping busy is the way I think, if not then seek some assistance, join a group or a club, find new interests, move on with your life!

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