Very irritated, angry, frustrated and can never concentrate.

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Hi All,

So about a year 1/2 ago I started suffering from depression which was classed as severe depression while in University. I had a lot of family problems and I hated some of the people I worked with (in uni), meaning I had some very dark days where I felt like removing myself and other people from the face of the earth.

Now my Doctor was concerned about my stability back then and I did see a mental health nurse, but I never took it forward since I ended up going on holiday and he refereed me back to my GP. After that I told my GP I am fine I had a nice holiday and kept busy away from family and their issues.

I started volunteering for a first aid charity and basically kept busy I actually really enjoy it. I keep active as possible and try to balance my time, I weighted 100KG back then but now I weight around 80KG (was 76, but been lazy with the gym!), but I am maintaining it.

I have recently graduated from uni (in July) I work as a software engineer, but to be honest I have been working on computers for so long I am bored of it, constantly sitting and solving code (and gaining weight sad ), that's why I volunteer and work as a freelance developer, but I am just bored and this is where my issues come in.

I get very irritated and angry quickly and find it hard to concentrate (I don't take it out on people just keep it to myself), I struggle to read books and I have a lot of things "I'd like to do one day" planned.... but I can't seem to now balance my time since starting work, to be honest I think this software career is not for me.... sad  I'm more of an active person...and family issues are a big problem I'd like to move but I can't at the moment.

I did apply to join the army, but they obviously rejected me as I my depression exceeded 1 year (Depression started around 2015, felt OK during my break off but kicked of again when I went back so it was flagged as recurring and exceeding 1 year, I stopped seeing Doctor in September 2016 and off meds since 2016 March)

I don't know what to do, I think family issues was the main thing being my cause for depression and me not achieving grades I wanted back in School (I regret it now..) life is just not what I expected.

I really feel like Policing is my type of career was always something I wanted to do when young, my current force recruiting but I am not sure if they would even accept me or I should wait another year? I also enjoy my charity work I do so I do have experience with working with people started doing charity work at the end of 2015...but then again I also want to build the next social network and work on 10 different things...and deal with family issues.

Can anyone off me some advice suggestions, and I would like to know if I could possibly join the police, I think I'd enjoy it....

Thanks...

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi there 000042278🙂

     Hi, me personally I would go back to your dr and be referred to the mental health team again.Follow it through, be true to yourself. They wanted ou to engage with them. There was a reason for that

    You say you know what's the cause of your depression and that's a start. The professionals will help but you need to get on that ladder of help.

     I say this to you because please I am 40 I should have confronted and had the help earlier, I wasted years really. Now seeking the help years later. It's carried with me.

    There's so many different types of help out there now than years ago. That's a real plus.

    you have a lot to give and have been, it's maybe time to help yourself first.

    you are young enough to get the help you need and then  you can concentrate on the policing you would like to do. one thing I've learned it really helps if you enjoy your Job!

    You say you've 10 things you want to do....make the first you hey, then the rest should follow.

    you have hopes and aspirations there's no reason you can't make a start.. little by little maybe? I always say this but be KIND TO YOURSELF that's the first step.

    what I'm saying is it's best to have the help now. You  recognise you've resons for your depression that's maybe something you can talk through with help. Don't struggle that's the worst thing reach out.

    take care, maybe you can let us know how you are doing!!

    Take care Vicky X

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  • Posted

    You should be very proud of yourself as what you have accomplished so far!!  A degree is wonderful and something that noone can take from you ever!!   Family is family and sometimes people divorce themselves from their own family..  Once your able move far away so you don't have to deal with them as often as you do now.. Perhaps that's all you need!!   My sister moved several states away and sees us once a year--  I guess she feels the same.  Bravo on volunteering!!!  That is excellent and should make you feel good knowing that your helping in the community.  Keep doing this!  Are you taking supplements?  Cod liver oil and Vit D are good for mental well being..  There are others too.  Good nutrition also helps!  As far as your career, do what makes you happy!!  Try the police force, you may do very well there.   My niece got her RN degree then decided she wanted to be a hairdresser..    I think it's OK to do because you are young and you have that degree to fall back on!!  Just be good to yourself and keep up your doctor appointments.   In fact, a therapist could help as well.  Some therapists are really good at giving you ideas and suggestions!!

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    • Posted

      Hi thanks for the response, I don't take any kinds of supplements I feel those things are a waste of time I just keep busy, hit the gym and do sports (like swimming, airsoft etc) it just makes me forget about things, but when I am at home I can't concentrate and get annoyed.

      I have like 10 projects that I'd like to do but I can't, because I find it hard to concentrate, I'd say I don't have depression any more so no point seeing a doctor.

      I think in my country (UK) depression and mental health is just not overall understood properly I really would like to join police force but I am wondering whether I would even get accepted. I think once you have depression on your health record you're limited on what jobs you can do.

      I'm still in my early 20s and have a whole life ahead of me, but some jobs will penalise me for my depression which I could not control during hard times.

      So a few questions which you might be able to answer or anyone else.

      Do you think I could join police force? (I might wait another year or two), I will continue volunteering as a first aider  for now.. smile 

      Why do I find it hard to concentrate?

      I daydream a lot, about the future, things I imagine my life to be "one day", is this common?

       

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    • Posted

      Hi there

      ive read your reply to Kelly.

      yes we do say one day my life will be........

      yes daydreaming and then the time goes so the projects you want to do don't get done.

      look your young, you've years ahead so why not take it little by little hey.

      its fantastic you volunteer that must give you satisfaction and it's a really good thing your doing.

      youve achieved a lot already!!

      rhough I read your post you said you keep busy then when you're home youcant concentrate and and get annoyed. That's because you've a past you may need to talk through or else it will be with you. I say this as I was 14 when a lot happened to me. I'm 40 now I didn't think I needed help now I'm begging for it!!!

      im sorry if my first reply was of no help........... it's just that now over the years there's so much more to help now.

      you say there's no point going to your dr as you are not depressed but clearly something is not right that's why you said you keep busy, not to think of things.

      Its just that if you don't address it then it may stay with you. You're so young  

      whatever you do from now on I wish you well.

      hold on to your dreams one day they may come true🙂 But most importantly it is looking after you.

      would you consider Drs advice on this??

      Mental  health  has come along way over the years believe me I wasted years not talking things through so many when I could have  had help sooner. Sometimes it takes years for people to want to talk.

      My niece Chloe is a call handler for Devon and Cornwall police.... she is bored now wants to move on. She had to go for 3 interviews with a panel and other candidates then passed that and had six weeks solid training after that and she was in. She does not suffer with any mental health problems. Though she said the interview was hard. You've achieved a lot I'm sure you will go far.

      Vicky

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