Very scared with the depression and sudden suicidal thoughts that have arisen recently?

Posted , 8 users are following.

Hey guys

I hope all is well.

I am a 26 male who has recently finished my master degree in civil engineering.

Recently maybe over the past few days I have been experiencing crippling dark feelings which have made me feel lost and unable to function due to fear of suicidal tendencies.

This hasn't really happened before, but I have gone through other difficulties over the past 6 years which I managed to deal with.

However now it feels like these efforts are even fading and I really don't know what to do. The though of harming myself in that way terrifies me as when I talk to my friends and family I realise how portent I am to them if you know what I mean.

A lot of these feelings started by an accumulation of worthlessness thoughts after any accomplishments. In my head I begin to feel I am not as good as my peers so then it leads me to think what's the point u know.

If anyone has advice please help, it would be much appreciated.

3 likes, 7 replies

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi adame76,

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologise for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help. 

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen. 

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need. 

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help. 

    If you are based outside of the UK. 

    The Samaritans is a UK based charity, but they also have suggestions for how you can access help in other countries.

    Please have a look at this page https://www.befrienders.org/directory

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  • Posted

    Hon your still so young & you have your whole life ahead of you. Sure things might seem hard right now but it will get better. Life is full of ups & downs. It's up to you to turn a down around. I'm sure if you just take a moment to look at all the good things in your life you'll find a reason to smile again.

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  • Posted

    Hey honey, sounds like every day is a test of endurance and you feel its become a harder struggle. You stated that 6 years prior that you overcame other difficulties. Im wondering, is the pattern the same? How did you deal with those past difficulties? You also say you felt unwell when you accomplish something-an accomplishment is an achievement isn't it? Something you've acheived. Yet, you don't feel good enough. Well, I've got news for you, you are good enough! You're just as good as the next man. All men are equal. You're studying "civil engineering. Wow! You brainiac! Such an amazing career and future awaits you! Could exam stress have triggered the way you feel? Have you tried talking therapies? Because, I do think the issues you have are quite deep seated. You work together with the therapist to identify why you feel the way you do. They should give you evidence to disprove your beliefs. Also I would go to the doctor and have a chat about how you feel. Especially, if you continuously feel overwhelmed. Message me anytime, privately if you'd like. You will be OK, Donna xxx

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  • Posted

    Hi

    Please make yourself a referral to the local mental health teams or either ask your G.P to make a referral on your behalf. I have made referral  for people I have supported in my care in the past,

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  • Posted

    Maybe I'm wrong but that crippling dark feeling isn't you! It's dropped on your head. Am I right when I say it comes from above you? Right from the top of your head and courses down your eyes like a tingling death blanket then your heart starts beating and you literally lose yourself in a quick panic lost state. ??

    It can last a few seconds when it starts but if you dwell on it in life it will manifest insecurities growing stronger and harder to deal with. Your not worthless. Your not suicidal. You know better. You don't need this forum. You are being scathed. It happens to talented people. It can make or break a person. It is spiritual and it is real. It's almost like a challenge. Someone told me to deal with it "get a life". Focus on what you can in front of you, be present in your life. Go to a beach or River, soak up to your ankles, feel the Earth beneath you, the sun above you. Feel energy and don't listen to your head!!. Allow magic to happen. Say a prayer it all the universe to run energy through you and restore your balance. Just try that see how you go.

    Sometimes we absorb s**t around us. Sometimes the feelings we have aren't even ours. You might be a sponge or might be releasing generational karma from one of your ancestors. You might be taking s**t off a loved one unconsciously. Our bodies and spirits know what we can and can't handle. You got this otherwise you wouldn't be in your shoes!

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  • Posted

    Hello

    Oh things don't sound too well for you!

    My caring advice would be to not hesitate a moment longer and contact your GP, Counsellor or Community Mental Health as you need to talk/share what is going on for you and make sure u r comfortable with who u r seen by, that they really listen!

    Also if medication is advised along with counselling make sure they go gently with it! Medication is ok if it's managed carefully!

    Hope my advice helps! :-)

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  • Posted

    Hello Adam,. Not sure if this is stemming from anxiety but. I have suffeted anxiety and some depression. Just some advice from someone who has years of reading up on mental health and going to therapy.. Since i have suffered anxiety for years i would suggest this . Go to the dr. Get on an antideptessant if you arent on one. Ask for a mild dose and something that has been around a bit. If the dr. You can ask the dr if they tbink meds woukd be appropriate of course .Sounds like you are having anxiety because you had these thoughts and afraid that you night act on them. Are you more afraid of the thought you had or that you are going to act on them. The worst thing we can do is compare ourselves to others. It causes mental illness, so i read. You will never live up to the expectations of yourself if you compare yourself to others . You have to love yourself and what you have accomplished in your life. You see everyone has different life situations and factors that play into who they are. If everyone had the same exact accomplishments or capabilities we would have a problem in the world. We arent suppose to compare ourselves to co workers , brothers and sisters, parents or anyone . Each person is unique and from my experience in life ,if we think someone does something better than us or is more accomplished there is still going to be something that we do that the other person cant do as well. It might be they arent able to show enough empathy to others, they may not be able to spell as well as you, they may not be able to multi task as well as you..i mean the list could go on forever. But you see thats exactly why you cant compare yourself to others because one person cant be everyone else. One person cant posess eveeything good in beverybody else . It impossible. It doesnt make you less of an accomplished person . Dont put that on yourself. If i cant be like another seemingly better mother than me i cant give up and say id be better off not living. I have to remind myself. I am me, my situation is different and I try to do my job as a parent as best as i can and it doesnt mean they or the world is better off without me. I also know the main expectations for my life are Gods expectations. He is the only person i have to live my life for. Am i a strong person, no. Do i get down, yes. But really if it werent for knowing i am good enough for him just as i am, i would be in big trouble. If i live my life according to his words of wisdom then i am the best mom, best person , best me i can be. Everything else is just not important. You see your self worth shouldnt just come from your accomplishments alone.. Your important to begin with. Please please tell yourself this , believe it, and know it Everyday. Not sure if you are a believer but to me if it werent for Jesus i would never have accomplished some of the things i have in my life . I read the BOOK of John, then Acts in the Bible it is something that gave me great hope and awakening. God bless you and please tell your doctor your concerns asap.
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