Virgin at 21 male about to be 22 in june
Posted , 4 users are following.
So basically i have been a bit down recently about the fact i am going to be 22 in 2 months and i am still a virgin, i know i should not be bothered about this i have dated girls in the past and it has not really led to anything apart from one time in which there was intimacy but it never lead to sex, which i was fine with at the time. I think its just a social stigma really people at my age still ask me if im a virgin etc my friends especially and its embarrasing saying i am, does anyone else feel like this, ive had a lot of issues with anxiety and depression with one of them being heath anxiety which i am just starting to overcome im now looking for a job and regularly going to my local gym to improve my fitness as its not the best which i am enjoying actually, is there still hope for me i feel like im never going to meet anyone is it weird that im still a virgin the last few years ive been single mainly due to my anxiety but now im starting to come out of it im trying to push myself to improve my confidence by going to thge gym and also i quit my job as i hated it and im now looking for something more enjoyable. can anyone relate with me?
3 likes, 3 replies
mari34228 john46133
Posted
Hi John, yes, I can relate in some way. When I was a teen in the 90s I'd had a couple boyfriends and a few snogs and fumbles, but not sex. I was very insecure and had the same problems as you. Depression, anxiety, health anxiety, and I also had very low self-esteem about my body, and no confidence in myself at all!! I met my ex-husband when I was 19 and had sex for the first time a month before my 20th birthday. The main reason for me if I am honest is I didn't want to get into my 20s not having had sex. It was sheer peer pressure. Imagined pressure put on me by myself I should add! I just wanted to feel 'normal'. Anyway, for me it turned out to be a huge mistake because I ended up staying with this man for 20 years and had a hellish marriage!!! That ended over 2 years ago thank god! Anyway, my point is, please don't feel pressured or embarrassed. Looking back as a 41 year old I wish I had waited for the right person. I rushed in and he wasn't right for me. I can't regret it fully as we have two wonderful children together, but it was still a bad move on my part. My best advice to you would be to deal with your anxiety and depression (which may be causing you to have a low libido anyway) and build your self-confidence up on your own (don't rely on someone else to do it for you). You will meet someone one day who will love you for you, and will not give a damn if you are a virgin. Honestly John, if someone really cares about you, that will simply not matter to them. They might even be flattered you chose them!
Anyway, I have now met someone else who I adore completely. However, I do not see him often nor have sex with him often as he has his own serious mental health issues. But that does not matter to me. Love isn't sex. It's only a nice part of it.
Try to relax and concentrate on yourself. The right person will come along. xxx
borderriever john46133
Posted
Stop trying so hard, if you are searching for a job you cannot do a serious relationship justice.
You are not such a rare animal during this time of uncertainties. You are best if possible to wait. You may be suprised, depending on where you live in the world this cannot be that unusual. Personally when I was dating in the sixties we could find dates the in all intents and purposes :Wham Bang Thank You Mam: that is not only dangerous it is also not as fulfilling as a serious relationship that would lead you on through to a relationship that is meaningful and more satisfying.
Look for someone you like and take it easy, Get to know the person for what they are and allow yourself and Her to explore the relationship between you before the Final Act, both of you could feel used proceeding to soon and that becomes counterproductive.
Remember many of your friends will be just like you, they cannot or will not admit to their lack of success.
The greatest thing you can expect o life is get to know the person before the loss of both cherries
BOB
peter01729 john46133
Posted
As an old man looking back at myself feeling as you do at your age about the same thing, I would advise to turn it on its head, instead of feeling bad that you are not doing something bad, feel good that you are doing something good, be proud that you are not sticking your head in a gas oven just because everybody else is.
Though I sucumbed when I got the chance, it wasnt really all that, in later years I actualy got better at resisting having sex just for the sake of it and would proudly state that I am keeping myself faithful for my wife in advance of even meeting her.
You might get your willy wet soon, but when you meet somebody you love and want to marry, you will wish you could offer yourself to her as something new and clean rather than something used and dirty.
Its a frame of mind that you can turn into a positive.