Vitiligo - thinking about starting a family - Worried about passing vitiligo on
Posted , 6 users are following.
Hi All. Hope you're all well. I would be grateful for your thoughts and experiences.
I am a married man in my 30s of Indian origin. I have had vitiligo since I was around 10 years old and it is now at the stage now where I have lost most of the pigmentation on the parts of my body that are visible eg. face, hands, feet etc, so I'm finally beginning to feel more comfortable with my appearance.
I have history of vitiligo in my family, in that my father and some of his siblings have it. My father's generation have all had children and out of 10 cousins I am the only one to have developed the condition.
I have a wonderful wife who is also of Indian origin, who does not have vitiligo. We really want to have children, but I worry so much about our child having vitiligo that its holding us back from having a child in the normal way. I have convinced myself that the best way for us is to use a sperm donor (or failing that, to adopt).
We have tried to have a baby in this way, but it is not working and so we are both thinking that perhaps these methods are not working because we are “meant to” have a child in the normal way.
Apart from vitiligo I am a totally healthy person, who has managed to get a good education and a good job and generally life is very good. I never ever think that I wish I had not been born because of my vitiligo and I often think that we should just have a child in the normal way. But then I keep having "reality checks" and worrying about how our child would cope if they did have the problem and how it might affect our relationship. My wife is much more comfortable with us having our own child and thinks that even if the child does have the problem, we can build their confidence and help them to deal with it.
Obviously, people with vitiligo have children all the time and obviously my parents did as well, but in today's age, I know more about the unpredictable genetics of the conditions and we have more options available, such as using a sperm donor etc, which all make our decision harder almost.
Grateful for comments from people who have been through similar thoughts.
?Thank you!
0 likes, 3 replies
angela20282 emelio24
Posted
Emelio24
I'm no expert but my vitiligo has not been passed to my children nor do I think I inherited it.
You have a good attitude to this and so does your wife so if it was me I would go for it.
All the best
Angela
mickeym emelio24
Posted
Hi Emelio,
We are in a similar situation. I am just curious as to what you ended up deciding and how did it work out.
Also, was there every any recommendation from your doctors for genetic counseling. That is something we are considering. Further, there is always a concern that the sperm donor may have other worse health issues or even vitiligo themselves. It's not an easy decision...
Thank you,
Mickey
joshuapryce1987 emelio24
Posted
Just be confident and do what you need to. My family have health problems passed on from generation to generation, but we love each other and that is most important. Moral of the story is do what you think is best and be happy.