1. Community
  2. Infections
  3. Genital Herpes Simplex

waited to long to say something, how could I ever get him back?

Posted , 6 users are following.

gijane
gijane

I recently started dating this fantastic guy,he was everything I was looking for. After 2months of talking we finally decided to officially date. Although it's no excuse I didn't mention I had hsv2. I Also had been celibate for a yr and our chemistry was unreal. Unfortunately we had unprotected sex 7x's before I told him. I hadn't had an out break in over ayr and my last dates excepted my condition. I guess assumed I hadn't infected him and that he would take it well.  Sadly he looked at me disgusted,he took a long shower and I offered to take him to my doctors office. Doc didn't except his Ins.  So there was no result, we sat and talked but like 5ft away from each other. I deserved the anger and he was definitely Fearful. Hes Been dropping  hints of how much he cared for me even text me a 143 lol I felt so awesome with him and this one secret destroyed it. Does he need time or should I just leave him alone. I ache for him.  How do I fix this? I don't even know if I gave this to him. I fear that this condition is becoming me. I'm scared to tell anyone and I feel like this will always happen. How can I feel better about me and not hurt .... I'm so freakin sad...

0 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • eugene70527
    eugene70527 gijane

    Posted

    Put yourself in his shoes and maybe you will understand. HSV is a transmitable recurrent disease with no cure. He had a right to know! It was very inconsiderate and selfish of you to wait after having all the sex. How can this man trust you again? The first thing you should of done was tell him before having any sex. 
  • eugene70527
    eugene70527 gijane

    Posted

    You say you are so freaking sad, yet you risk putting another person in the same position. 
    • gijane
      gijane eugene70527

      Posted

      I know I was in the wrong, I put myself in his shoes and that's why i understand that I lost him. I told him I was selfish for wanting to be happy. explaining myself means nothing you are right he had the right to know and I screwed this up All on my on. Thanks for your thoughts
  • Sarah24
    Sarah24 gijane

    Posted

    Hi gijane

    I can understand why he's pissed and you should have told him before having (unprotected sex) if you have such a great connection he would have accepted it otherwise move on he's not interested in you as a person if he can't accept a little skin condition!! Hopefully he will find it in him to forgive you!!! How long have you had herpes? 

    Sarah

    • gijane
      gijane Sarah24

      Posted

      I think it was my circumstance that clouded my judgements.  I have had hsv2 for 17yrs. In the first yrs I was depressed and I went thru a very tough phase.  I got this thru a rape and both incidents made life very hard.  In my mid20s I coped Even got married but he was killed and then tragedy one after the other hapnd.  I had been single so long I forgot how gd it felt to be in a relationship.  I just got myself to deep to fast and I cldnt. Take it back. I was happier then I can Remember ever being. I know in the past I had relationships for yrs unprotected and they never caught this from me. In the Past 5yrs I've had like 2 mild outbreaks so I waited to long  bcus I thought they nvr caught it why would he.  That was just a silly selfish thought.  I hope his test results are negative because I Wasn't having any issues when we did our thang. But of course like all the information you read the is always a chance even without symptoms. 
  • nelly123
    nelly123 gijane

    Posted

    It's all about respect, if you respected him you should have told him prior to having sex, even considering your circumstances. Yes I know you wanted to just be happy for once, well look where it's got you, I'm sure he would've accepted you had it seeing as use had such a strong connection. Hey I want to be happy but I know how pissed off I was when I got it after protection broke and the guy didn't tell me, so You can understand what he's feeling. Let him decide if he is willing to forgive just don't push it cos yes you were in the wrong. 
  • ambient
    ambient gijane

    Posted

    The chances are very high that you haven't given him anything. If you don't get many outbreaks at all, then you probably aren't shedding a lot. If you haven't had an outbreak in a year, then you are probably not shedding.
    • gijane
      gijane ambient

      Posted

      Is there really a better way of knowing if this is passed?  See I can take my history, My past and that still means nothing.  It's been a wk and he never did contact me again.  Time to just let it go and pray he'll forgive me.  I don't feel any better about the situation. 
    • nelly123
      nelly123 gijane

      Posted

      Well all you can do is learn from your mistakes, hopefully you haven't passed it on but for him it will be still the fact you slept with him without telling him, he might still be processing it all but let him contact you 
Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.