Waiting for test results. Not very optimistic. Need advice.
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I'm a 25 year old female. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 7 months. For 2 months I had to leave for work. I didn't not cheat on him or anything. When I came back we had sex for like a whole weekend, I guess making up for lost time. After the first day I was really sore. I thought maybe it was from rough sex. But after a couple days the pain just wouldn't go away. Then when I urinate it burns to the point where I am almost in tears. I thought maybe I had a UTI cause I've had one before and it was the same symptoms. But it felt a little extra painful. So I took a mirror and looked down there and I noticed what looked like little white bumps and a small sore. I went to the gynecologist today and she said from what it looks like it's herpes. I will know for sure in a couple days when the test comes back. I want to tell my boyfriend but I also think I should wait since it is not 100% that I have it. But I don't want to feel like I'm hiding something from him. And since there's no way of knowing whether I gave it to him or he gave it to me I think he will just assume I gave it to him.
I just don't know how I should break the news to him. We've been talking about marriage and kids, I'm just worried that he will leave me. I need advice please.
0 likes, 19 replies
feelbroken lovlee123
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Depending on what type you got, will tell you how you got it. If it is HSV 1, it came from oral sex. If it is HSV 2, it came from intercourse and he likely gave it to you. When you have a first outbreak that is this bad, that means it is your primary OB (outbreak) and is a new infection. You haven't had this, you for it from him.
I agree kn waiting till you at least find out the type, to have the discussion w him. If it is type 2, he either cheated on you or has had it all this time. Having him get a blood test and having low antibody count means its a newer infection and if it's higher, he's had it for awhile.
As for your pain. Soak in an Epsom salt bath nightly. Spray Bactine spray to numb your area. Applying a thick coat of Vaseline over the sites, will stop friction and minimize pain and cover the areas when you pee.
lovlee123 feelbroken
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feelbroken lovlee123
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I have found, most men seem to be asymptomatic or have such a mild OB, that they think it is razor burn. I had a friend who dated a guy and she disclosed and he said it was a deal breaker. They stayed friends and 3 months later, he said it didn't matter and she was worth the risk. So she had him get tested before they got intimate and low and behold, he comes out positive for HSV 2 and then recalls he's had a rash here and there a few times, but didn't know what it was. We think that he was in denial, as I've seen most men seem to be and don't address it, because they don't want that to impact their sex life. Almost every guy I've seen, has been in denial first.. Women ten to accept it and handle it differently and I'm sure a lot of that is because our obs tens to be much more painful, so for those of us that do have symptoms, we don't have a choice to be in denial. Plus, men identify themselves w their manhood for the most part and I think that plays a role into their denial as well.
lovlee123 feelbroken
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lovlee123
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feelbroken lovlee123
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My recurrents are not painful either. The text book description of herpes, is worse case scenario, which you know from statistics, 80% don't get the classic herpes symptoms.
I had a friend who only got red bumps on her primary and has never had blisters or ulcers. If everyone is different.
feelbroken lovlee123
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Getting herpes is most definitely a grieving process for sure. You will go through all the stages of grieving, it is normal to feel this way and you will come to a point of realizing, it isn't that big of a deal. Everyone also fears their recurrents and I promise you, they are nothing like your primary. The only reason I will know I'm having a recurrent that's not on my vagina, but on my lower inside buttcheeks, is cause it'll itxh a little and then I'll feel a little bump or two. It goes away in 2-3 days, as long as I take Epsom salt baths the days I have it. I can go about doing whatever I want, working out, biking, everything. The only reason I ever found a SI gle bumo on my vagina during recurrents, is because I would check the next morning, as I learned drinkong lots of liquor and staying out to the wee hrs partying, is a trigger for me. Had I not looked, I'd not known I had a single red bump on my recurrents.
For some, their period is a trigger. I never broke out on the outside during my periods, but on the third day it'd feel sensitive to put a tampon in or take out and it would leave a circular discoloration on the front, on the same spot every time. The internal sore doesn't hurt at all, just discomfort inserting and removing a tampon. I've not met anyone that has had that same problem yet.
I will have has this a yr next month and my last two periods I didn't have an OB at all.
I highly recommend starting a good probiotic to take daily. I had a severe primary so bad, I had severe nerve pain down my legs and buttock and felt like a burn victim and counted 22 external sores. Life was hell for me and I had to go to the ER and get on anticonvulsants for the nerve pain. I was on it for like 4 months and never thought my life would be normal again.
When the burning stopped, I still had pain that was bearable in my tailbone and a dull ache in my buttock, but had strange nerve sensations nonstop every day, like tingling, crawling, pins and needles, burning for a few seconds, but it was like 20xs a day.
I started taking probiotics and after a couple months it stopped. Now I have zero to only a couple nerve sensations for a second once a week or less. I thought my recurrents were gonna be like this always. I couldn't sit up for two weeks and I'm here to tell you, that won't be the case, so relax.
70% of our immune system is in our guts and the garbage we eat disrupts that balance in our gut, making our immune system not as effective.
Out of all my gfs w it, I'm the only one that has these symptoms. Most have gone 2-10yrs w no OB... I have a bad immune system from autoimmune diseases I have.
Just be patient, its this bad now because you have no antibodies to it, so it allowed the virus to get out of control. Once you build some up, you'll be fine, don't worry. Make sure you follow the bath and bactine and Vaseline adcqixe I gave. Sitting in a shallow bath and peeing helps as well.
lovlee123 feelbroken
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feelbroken lovlee123
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lovlee123 feelbroken
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lovlee123
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feelbroken lovlee123
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Did you try the Vaseline yet?
It is normal for your lymph nodes to be swollen, mine were too. That is just a sign of your immune system activating to fight the infection. So it is an uncomfortable feeling, but a good sign. That will be the start of your body creating antibodies.
lovlee123 feelbroken
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I'm glad that my swollen lymph nodes is a good thing. I thought it meant something else was wrong.
I read on a website that the primary outbreak can last as long as 4 weeks! I don't think I can go thru this pain for 4 weeks!
feelbroken lovlee123
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They day that, but that's usually w out meds. How long are you in now? I know its hard, but the primary is the worst and it'll be over before you know it, don't worry. It's rough, believe me, but I've not had anything like that since, although I have symptoms often, they don't disrupt my life in the least.. I swear.
feelbroken
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lovlee123 feelbroken
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feelbroken lovlee123
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lovlee123 feelbroken
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Yes I've told him. He feels terrible.
feelbroken lovlee123
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There was a woman in her 50s in here recently that has been married for 30s and got herpes from her husband, through oral sex . they had no idea that coukd spread to the genitals. I see this all the time.
That's doesn't mean he cheated. This is so common. Just because you didn't get it before, doesn't mean he didn't have it before. It took me a yr n half w my ex husband, before I got oral herpes w him. My beat friend has been w her husband 13yrs and has managed never to get oral herpes from him in the mouth or down there and he has frequent nasty obs.
Don't be too hard on him...