Waiting for test results. Not very optimistic. Need advice.

Yes I got the blood test and some other culture thing, I forgot what the doctor called it. So there is a way of knowing when I go it? My doctor told me that there's no way to know because I've could of potentially have had it for years and it just could of be lying dormant. But I find it odd because we had sex a little over a week ago and I was totally fine. No issues. But after this past weekend, now all these problems. I want to believe he hasn't cheated on me and part of me thinks he didn't since it is also possible that he didn't know he had it either. I will tell him to get tested next week when I find out for sure that I have it.

It's not going to tell you the exact date, buy if your blood test comes back negative, it means it's a new infection. If it comes back positive, w a higher value than just at the breaking point of being positive, it's a new infection. If you have like a value of 4 and over, you've had it for some time. I'm willing to bet a million, it is a new infection.

I have found, most men seem to be asymptomatic or have such a mild OB, that they think it is razor burn. I had a friend who dated a guy and she disclosed and he said it was a deal breaker. They stayed friends and 3 months later, he said it didn't matter and she was worth the risk. So she had him get tested before they got intimate and low and behold, he comes out positive for HSV 2 and then recalls he's had a rash here and there a few times, but didn't know what it was. We think that he was in denial, as I've seen most men seem to be and don't address it, because they don't want that to impact their sex life. Almost every guy I've seen, has been in denial first.. Women ten to accept it and handle it differently and I'm sure a lot of that is because our obs tens to be much more painful, so for those of us that do have symptoms, we don't have a choice to be in denial. Plus, men identify themselves w their manhood for the most part and I think that plays a role into their denial as well.

I do remember seeing a bump on his penis a couple months ago but it just looked like a pimple and it was just one. It didn't look like any of the herpes pictures I've seen. When I asked him about it he said he didn't even notice it cuz it was on the underside of it and it wasn't painful or nothing.

I'm just so lost. The part that I just can't get out of my head is the fact that if I do have it, it's for life. And I wanted kids someday and that will make it that much harder. Plus this OB is horrible. I've never been in so much pain in my life. I can't imagine going thru this for the rest of my life.

Ok, you cannot go off what you see on Google, those are worst case scenarios of an OB and there is no one size fits all w how herpes breaks out w people. It all depends on how your immune system handles the virus and our immune systems are as unique as our thumb prints, so w that being said, everyone has different symptoms. Had I never had my primary OB that was bad and just had what my recurrents are like, I'd never guessed that it was herpes. I get what looks like a single red bump, like a pimple and that's it. It never ulcerats and goes away in a couple of days.

My recurrents are not painful either. The text book description of herpes, is worse case scenario, which you know from statistics, 80% don't get the classic herpes symptoms.

I had a friend who only got red bumps on her primary and has never had blisters or ulcers. If everyone is different.

Ok, for one, I have 4gfs who have had multiple babies through vaginal delivery w herpes and all babies are healthy. They put you on antivirals your last trimester, in preparation for delivery. I promise you, this will be OK.

Getting herpes is most definitely a grieving process for sure. You will go through all the stages of grieving, it is normal to feel this way and you will come to a point of realizing, it isn't that big of a deal. Everyone also fears their recurrents and I promise you, they are nothing like your primary. The only reason I will know I'm having a recurrent that's not on my vagina, but on my lower inside buttcheeks, is cause it'll itxh a little and then I'll feel a little bump or two. It goes away in 2-3 days, as long as I take Epsom salt baths the days I have it. I can go about doing whatever I want, working out, biking, everything. The only reason I ever found a SI gle bumo on my vagina during recurrents, is because I would check the next morning, as I learned drinkong lots of liquor and staying out to the wee hrs partying, is a trigger for me. Had I not looked, I'd not known I had a single red bump on my recurrents.

For some, their period is a trigger. I never broke out on the outside during my periods, but on the third day it'd feel sensitive to put a tampon in or take out and it would leave a circular discoloration on the front, on the same spot every time. The internal sore doesn't hurt at all, just discomfort inserting and removing a tampon. I've not met anyone that has had that same problem yet.

I will have has this a yr next month and my last two periods I didn't have an OB at all.

I highly recommend starting a good probiotic to take daily. I had a severe primary so bad, I had severe nerve pain down my legs and buttock and felt like a burn victim and counted 22 external sores. Life was hell for me and I had to go to the ER and get on anticonvulsants for the nerve pain. I was on it for like 4 months and never thought my life would be normal again.

When the burning stopped, I still had pain that was bearable in my tailbone and a dull ache in my buttock, but had strange nerve sensations nonstop every day, like tingling, crawling, pins and needles, burning for a few seconds, but it was like 20xs a day.

I started taking probiotics and after a couple months it stopped. Now I have zero to only a couple nerve sensations for a second once a week or less. I thought my recurrents were gonna be like this always. I couldn't sit up for two weeks and I'm here to tell you, that won't be the case, so relax.

70% of our immune system is in our guts and the garbage we eat disrupts that balance in our gut, making our immune system not as effective.

Out of all my gfs w it, I'm the only one that has these symptoms. Most have gone 2-10yrs w no OB... I have a bad immune system from autoimmune diseases I have.

Just be patient, its this bad now because you have no antibodies to it, so it allowed the virus to get out of control. Once you build some up, you'll be fine, don't worry. Make sure you follow the bath and bactine and Vaseline adcqixe I gave. Sitting in a shallow bath and peeing helps as well.

Peeing is my problem. My sores are on/in my vagina so every time I pee I'm literally in tears from the pain. I try to hold a wash cloth down there to stop the urine from touching it, it helps a little but it's still Excruciating pain. I've been given I think Valtrex but I don't know how soon it should start working. Plus I've been given some vaginal gel but that's for a bacterial infection. I Just need to find something that will just completely numb down there because if this pain continues like this. I think I will have to go to the hospital. I literally want to scream everything I use the bathroom.

Spray Bactine don there to numb it, also put Vaseline all over your sores to cover them, like a lot and pee in a shallow bath.. It'll get better! I promise! How are you doing now?

Where can I find bactine? And is vaseline safe for my sores that are inside? Today is still the same. Still in pain. And after I use the bathroom, it hurts to even walk now. I'm scared to even leave my house for fear of me having to pee.

And now I've noticed that my lymph nodes down there are swollen.

Are you not in the states? You should be able to find it at the drug store. If you're not in the states, ask your chemistry for something similar or a spray/cream that had numbing agents. I've noticed that in the UK, you all have a lot more things available w out a prescription, than we have. See if you can get anything w lidocain in it.

Did you try the Vaseline yet?

It is normal for your lymph nodes to be swollen, mine were too. That is just a sign of your immune system activating to fight the infection. So it is an uncomfortable feeling, but a good sign. That will be the start of your body creating antibodies.

Yes I'm in the states, I've just never heard of it before. I haven't tried the vaseline yet but I will.

I'm glad that my swollen lymph nodes is a good thing. I thought it meant something else was wrong.

I read on a website that the primary outbreak can last as long as 4 weeks! I don't think I can go thru this pain for 4 weeks!

Ok then go to CVS or Walgreen's and go to where you'd be neosporin and you'll find it in white and green spray bottle.

They day that, but that's usually w out meds. How long are you in now? I know its hard, but the primary is the worst and it'll be over before you know it, don't worry. It's rough, believe me, but I've not had anything like that since, although I have symptoms often, they don't disrupt my life in the least.. I swear.

* meant they day that, but that's usually w out meds, in regards to having an OB for four weeks. Sorry, type on my phone and have had wine! 😜

Test results came back today. Positive for type 1. Negative for type 2. Been a rough day. My outbreak is getting a little better though.

Well, now you should feel some relief. You got it from oral sex w him and can not worry about the cheating anymore. So this is the good news. Have you told him? Hang in there, it gets better.

What do you mean not worry about the cheating? If he gave it to me through oral sex, that still means he got it from someone else. And my mind still goes to the fact that I was gone for two months and now all of a sudden I have herpes. That in my mind tells me he did cheat on me. And of course he's not going to admit it.

Yes I've told him. He feels terrible.

Hun, 60% of people get oral herpes as infants and children and most are asymptomatic. He may not even know he has it in his mouth. Just because he has it, doesn't mean he cheated.. It's possible to not infect a partner for yrs.

There was a woman in her 50s in here recently that has been married for 30s and got herpes from her husband, through oral sex . they had no idea that coukd spread to the genitals. I see this all the time.

That's doesn't mean he cheated. This is so common. Just because you didn't get it before, doesn't mean he didn't have it before. It took me a yr n half w my ex husband, before I got oral herpes w him. My beat friend has been w her husband 13yrs and has managed never to get oral herpes from him in the mouth or down there and he has frequent nasty obs.

Don't be too hard on him...