Waiting to die
Posted , 7 users are following.
I have lost my job, my mobility, my friends and my life. I have chronic back pain from modic changes and having my L4/L5 disk removed. I just exist. I don't live. I hate my life. I am a father of six. I can't play with my children or enjoy being a partner and Dad. I have lost all the joy of life and exist in misery. When will this torment end?
1 like, 4 replies
alll wayne90148
Posted
Hi Wayne,
First of all remember that there are people out there to help.
I am new to this and have recently posted about my farther who passed away during July. A terrible time for all of us.
My dad had a form of linfoma, (cancer) 4 years ago which had broken a bone in his back, after many appointments with the doctor they were still struggling to understand what it was until one day in very serious pain.
In fact he then had to go through a very big operation and several treatments of kemo.
what I'm trying to say is, 4 years ago I thought it was the end for him and I thought he was going to pass away, but he then got better to then spend another couple of years with us until this July.
He felt useless, he couldn't do much because his back wasn't strong enough and he or depressed because the job he enjoyed he could no longer do, which was bricklaying.
He thought of us all the time even when he felt like giving up he carried on and he tryed and that's what made him so great.
I'm not saying over do it, but try to be positive, you have kids that care, and they would understand, and last of all they love you.
Your not on your own. Make sure you have someone there to talk to, because I know if I could of spend more time than I did with my dad I would jump at the chance.
Your not nothing, your not useless, and if you need to go to the doctors and bug them to help you, so be it.
Because you matter, someone once said to me,
Alice ... you might think your annoying but
If you bugged them and bugged them but you got success out of it, and got where you wanted to be, why would you care?
Because if you didn't bug them,
You could of been at the very same place you are now, and wouldn't of tryed to better yourself at all.
charlie63146 wayne90148
Posted
Hi Wayne, I can relate to you. I had an accident a year ago involving my hip and pelvis and it has taken my entire life from me. I can walk but not for too long. It hurts just to stand and to sit. I have several things going on.my biggest fear is that I will not get my life back. I can't socialize or do activities or work . I have lost my girlfriend of 10 yrs and everything that I did for fun in my life I cannot do now. I am. Constantly thinking of suicide. I don't know what to do. I hate my life too now. Everyday for me is the same. I used to be an active person and did a lot of cool things. I pray that we can get better. Let me know if you feel like talking.
borderriever wayne90148
Posted
I have a Conjenital Short Term Memory condition and associated Reactive Depression. I have problems getting around and I live in a fully adapted bungalow.
Try and look on the bright side of life, look for activities that you would love to do. then when planned give it a go, if you cannot do it look for something else to plan for.
BOB
amanda35274 wayne90148
Posted
Hi wayne how are you feeling i see a fortnite has passed since your post. As parents we gotta stick around i know that pain only too well and how torturous it is as all you want is an end to the emotional pain. I wish u all the best ive been there & slowly coming out of the 3rd severe bout @ the mo with many chronic physical conditions also. Sooo hard at times but our kids need us im sure just bein sat on ur knee wld be better than them not having u at all. Hope things get better v v soon. Take all the help & therapy on offer. U deserve to enjoy a good life with ur kids then maybe grandkids... you can do it :0))) m. X