Waiting to die

Posted , 7 users are following.

I have lost my job, my mobility, my friends and my life. I have chronic back pain from modic changes and having my L4/L5 disk removed. I just exist. I don't live. I hate my life. I am a father of six. I can't play with my children or enjoy being a partner and Dad. I have lost all the joy of life and exist in misery. When will this torment end?

1 like, 4 replies

Report / Delete

4 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Wayne,

    First of all remember that there are people out there to help.

    I am new to this and have recently posted about my farther who passed away during July. A terrible time for all of us.

    My dad had a form of linfoma, (cancer) 4 years ago which had broken a bone in his back, after many appointments with the doctor they were still struggling to understand what it was until one day in very serious pain.

    In fact he then had to go through a very big operation and several treatments of kemo.

    what I'm trying to say is, 4 years ago I thought it was the end for him and I thought he was going to pass away, but he then got better to then spend another couple of years with us until this July.

    He felt useless, he couldn't do much because his back wasn't strong enough and he or depressed because the job he enjoyed he could no longer do, which was bricklaying.

    He thought of us all the time even when he felt like giving up he carried on and he tryed and that's what made him so great.

    I'm not saying over do it, but try to be positive, you have kids that care, and they would understand, and last of all they love you.

    Your not on your own. Make sure you have someone there to talk to, because I know if I could of spend more time than I did with my dad I would jump at the chance.

    Your not nothing, your not useless, and if you need to go to the doctors and bug them to help you, so be it.

    Because you matter, someone once said to me,

    Alice ... you might think your annoying but

    If you bugged them and bugged them but you got success out of it, and got where you wanted to be, why would you care?

    Because if you didn't bug them,

    You could of been at the very same place you are now, and wouldn't of tryed to better yourself at all.

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Wayne, I can relate to you.  I had an accident a year ago involving my hip and pelvis and it has taken my entire life from me.  I can walk but not for too long. It hurts just to stand and to sit.   I have several things going on.my biggest fear is that I will not get my life back.  I can't socialize or do activities or work .  I have lost my girlfriend of 10 yrs and everything that I did for fun in my life I cannot do now.  I am. Constantly thinking of suicide.  I don't know what to do.  I hate my life too now.  Everyday for me is the same.  I used to be an active person and did a lot of cool things.  I pray that we can get better. Let me know if you feel like talking.

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    I have a Chronic Disability that affects all my spine, hips, knees andarms shoulders and several other problems associated with a rare extensive Arthritis. This causes me extensive chronic pain and need to take Opiates every day with all the other gunge they have to get me to take, I am sixty six years old and have been like this for over thirty years.

    I have a Conjenital Short Term Memory condition and associated Reactive Depression. I  have problems getting around and I live in a fully adapted bungalow.

    Try and look on the bright side of life, look for activities that you would love to do. then when planned give it a go, if you cannot do it look for something else to plan for.


    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi wayne how are you feeling i see a fortnite has passed since your post. As parents we gotta stick around i know that pain only too well and how torturous it is as all you want is an end to the emotional pain. I wish u all the best ive been there & slowly coming out of the 3rd severe bout @ the mo with many chronic physical conditions also. Sooo hard at times but our kids need us im sure just bein sat on ur knee wld be better than them not having u at all. Hope things get better v v soon. Take all the help & therapy on offer. U deserve to enjoy a good life with ur kids then maybe grandkids... you can do it :0))) m. X

    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up