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Want another baby eventually but too scared

Posted , 4 users are following.

TheRoyalGeek
TheRoyalGeek

I'm a single mother to a 6 year old. My pregnancy was difficult with her but in the end it was all good. I've been dating someone and am at the point where I am thinking about our future. I'm afraid to have another baby because I've been having headaches for about 2 years now which CT scans without contrast have shown that all is normal. I keep reading stories (I try to avoid them but they show up on my newsfeed) of women who had aneurisms while pregnant. Someone please ease my worries sad I have constant health anxiety every day. If it isn't about my headaches I'm worried about cancer. 

1 like, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • archemedes
    archemedes TheRoyalGeek

    Posted

    Becoming or being pregnant does not mean that you will automatically find yourself one day with an aneurism, or have headaches unless of course your blood pressure shoots through the roof through pregnancy or anxiety, or that you will get cancer.

    I do not have a good opinion of newsfeeds because they tend to focus on attention-grabbing stories that are more often simply not true. So my advice in this respect is to pay no attention to them.

    Any major health concerns that you may have from time, including your fairly obvious health obsession should always be addressed to your doctor, who may be able to allay your fears.

     

    • TheRoyalGeek
      TheRoyalGeek archemedes

      Posted

      Thank you. Just my daily headaches/migraines already give me enough anxiety. And then last night my boyfriend told me about how his ex girlfriend had an anuresym but survived. He tried to comfort me by saying that I've had a head ct scan and she didn't and that my scan showed nothing. I guess she suffered from migraines as well and ignored them. The convo started because when we were intimate I felt pressure around my head when I climaxed and my right hand was extremely stiff. My blood pressure seems to go up and down and I have a non alcoholic fatty liver and asthma. Other than that I'm ok.
    • archemedes
      archemedes TheRoyalGeek

      Posted

      As I said, I suspected that the main problem was anxiety.

      As for your boyfriend's ex having an aneurism, well that was her and not you.

      As it so happens my 81 year old friend has an aneurism also which he has had for over 50 years, and he is as fit as a fiddle. So really do not pay too much attention to scare-mongering.

      By the way, it is quite normal for people's blood pressure to rise significantly during sexual activity, and this can cause headaches.

      If you think that the headaches are really migraines maybe you should consider keeping some Migrelief tablets at home for use in emergencies.

  • caitlin39841
    caitlin39841 TheRoyalGeek

    Posted

    hi originalRQ. i'm so sorry to hear of your dilemma with deciding whether to have another baby or not, due to fear of a ruptured aneurism in pregnancy or/and during delivery. i know how frightening it all can be and well done u on the birth of your little 6 yr old. if you've done it once u can do it again when the time is right & the acuse of that headache is unearthed?

    however, despite the reporting of ruptured aneurisms in pregnancy/delivery, statistically speaking there is no correlation between the two. as an ex midwife who has delivered hundreds of bonny babies, i've never delivered a mum with an aneurism. and indeed in midwifery career, i cannot even recall one. so rest assured the chances of it happening to u is pretty low, statistically speaking.

    anxiety is a a very real horror & can literally drive us mad if we let it. it's important, therefore, not to let it run & rule your life & important to keep it under control as much as you can. is there an anxiety support group near u at all that might help put things in perspective, or is it possible to have a pre-conception chat with a midwife or health visitor if ur in the UK?

    all good wishes with getting the headaches sorted & coming to a decision with baby making?

    Caitlin.

    • TheRoyalGeek
      TheRoyalGeek caitlin39841

      Posted

      I'm currently waiting for my neurologist to make an appointment with me to talk about my headaches and fears. Also dealing with a fatty liver and afraid maybe it was misdignosed. I had one doctor tell me it was ulcers, another tell me sore muscles. Finally I had an ultrasound done and my doctor said it was non alcoholic fatty liver which wasn't bad but starting to get bad, I'm in so much pain and afraid that what it if it is really cancer. I've been one big hot mess hahahaha. I was checking out anxiety meds and sadly a lot of them would be bad with my liver. 
    • caitlin39841
      caitlin39841 TheRoyalGeek

      Posted

      oh dear, u have a lot on your plate presently. do u know what stage the fatty liver is at? do u know the causation?

      Caitlin

    • TheRoyalGeek
      TheRoyalGeek caitlin39841

      Posted

      My doctor said it wasn't something to worry about and that I just need to lose weight so I have been trying to focus on being more active and eating better. 
    • caitlin39841
      caitlin39841 TheRoyalGeek

      Posted

      oh that's good. probably just stage one that will respond to dietary management. is your B/P ok? if it's high it might be adding to ur headaches?

      C

    • TheRoyalGeek
      TheRoyalGeek caitlin39841

      Posted

      B/P, blood work all fine. Scan was good. They suspect it could be my back and neck. Haven't been able to find a decent masseuse to work out my knots. It's not sinuses either. I'm taking magnesium supplements that seem to help manage the pain and muscle spasms
    • caitlin39841
      caitlin39841 TheRoyalGeek

      Posted

      oh good to hear that. have u thought about seeing a Chiropractor (McTimony ones are v. gentle) at all? one did wonders for my shoulders/back/neck etc. it's well worth a try since the problem seems to eminate from the shoulder muscles. it'd be good if got the headaches sorted or at least know what's causing them.

      C

  • stephx
    stephx TheRoyalGeek

    Posted

    Hun I see these storied constantly ! I'm right now freaking about a anyrsm I have had bad headaches on and off for 4 YEArs im 23 amd they became worse in the last couple of months which I went to doctors today and he suspects sinus infection hopefully he is right but I really believe it's anyrsm starting ect or cancer .

    I would love another baby at some point too but I'm scared though I haven't seen a story about a anyrsm while pregnant this has still been a fear of mine but since you ah be had scans hun really you should let your mind take that in the scan would of shown problems you have non therfore you will be at very low risk of developing one x

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