Posted , 8 users are following.
I can pay for someone to complete the process, as long as it is painless.
I'm so sad, I thought that the universe finally sent me a sign, that things were getting better, but I screwed things up and made everything worse. I just want to die, but I cannot do it myself, another example of being a wussie.
2 likes, 7 replies
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xheni78262 kennyb227
Posted
Hii!!
Please don't say that,that is so sad.I know it is hard but you there is always a way to go out from where you find yourself right now.Life isn't easy but we have to live it as long as we have this opportunity ,i know the difficult part is the battle of ourselves but once you win that battle you can understand that is so worth living. I don't use this site since lot of time but the emails keep coming and when i read yours i couldn't not reply.I was in tough situation too but i never gave up ,please don't give up too.you can write to me whenever you want .
kathleen62575 kennyb227
Posted
Hi Kenny. You are not a wussie. Please seek medical help .you are worthy of happiness. I have been where you are. Feeling helpless and wanting to die .Think of all the people who love you. Just talking to someone. Do you have the samaratins phone number. Please don't give up. Kate xxxxx
kennyb227 kathleen62575
Posted
Hi Kate,
Thanks for reaching out. What do the samaritans do, I've not heard of them?
I'm feeling better today, I'm just tired of the ups and downs. My Doc put me on a new med called Trintellix, but I just started it, so I'm not sure if will be better than Celexa or not.
mina81739 kennyb227
Posted
Kenny, please don't talk of taking your life. I have been where you are now, but by God's blessings I made it through. Yes, life is difficult, but it is also very wonderful and full of beauty if we look to see it. To see a baby smile, little children playing and laughing, a rosebud waiting to bloom, squirrels perched haphazardly on a tree nibbling, the sun coming up over the horizon. These are just a small fraction of the beauty this world has to offer. Make it a point each day to laugh and share a smile with someone. Sometimes when I am really lonely, I go to thrift store where I know I will find older people who are just hoping to share conversations with others. I take long walks and wave at the passing cars. So get out of the house and just enjoy the freedom of being free. God bless you and take care. Remember, we are all very special and we have a lot to offer.
kennyb227 mina81739
Posted
I won't take my own life, since I am to much of a chicken, but I wish I was dead every day. This will get a lot of people mad, but I wish I had cancer or a heart attack, just so I could leave this planet. so, I would not be responsible, it would be the disease that took my life.
You said that you were in my situation and got through it. Can you explain? What did you do that helped?
I am sooooo tired of this everyday, wishing that I wasn't here. Especially, since I know that wishing doesn't help, I've been wishing for at least 10 years and I'm still here.
No matter how much I pray, it doesn't change ANYTHING. I can't imagine what Jesus must've felt when he felt forsaken on the cross.
wayne1962 kennyb227
Posted
Hi Kenny - praying is a form of meditation. People think it's there to ask for things. If you want change, you have to seek it out, engage it, utilize it. There is no magical remedy. This is the life you agreed to and your job is to navigate it. You have two choices - keep pointlessly praying for change OR walk out there and find it. It's waiting for you.
Guest kennyb227
Posted
Many of us have been there, Kenny. Some of us are there right now, that's what these forums are set up for. No, you're not a 'wussie' for not taking your life. You're a human being and people, inherently, want to live.
Most people who attempt suicide do not want to die. They just can't deal with the pain of depression or continual anxiety anymore. It has a very real pain and it wears you down, day after day. All they really want is a 'clean start' the next morning with no fears, emotional pain or heartache.
I've had clinical depression since I was a young teenager and have been on Paxil (20 mg/day) since I was diagnosed at 38 (I was pondering suicide and my wife found one of the notes I had written to myself in my ideation). She arm twisted me into a Psychiatrist and he prescribed Paxil. It made a lot of difference once it kicked in.
Medication for Depression is not a panacea, it alone will not get you to the 'joyful' state we all seek. It'll usually just round out the rough edges and lessen the valleys. In addition to medication you need to get into Therapy, exercise more regularly (it promotes serotonin), eat more wholesome foods and push yourself so that you're not spending too much time alone-socialization helps depressives.
You have to work hard to get out of the depressive mindset, it isn't easy. But living with a continual desire to end your life isn't really living-it's misery. Life need not be the toil that we depressives make it out to be. There can be joy in life. But, we need to commit to doing the things that must be done to shake out of our Depression.
Clinical Depression is a miserably affliction, but it has been shared by many great men. Abraham Lincoln thought of suicide on occasion, he was deeply affected by Depression. Winston Churchill as well. Even Martin Luther had episodes of deep depression. We have a lot of company in our misery and they all made it through. So can we.