Ways to overcome depression

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Hello I've just signed up to this, my story and how I overcame depression;

I grew up close to all my family and friends I could imagine life without them, I graduated at university studying IT, a year later I had to undergo an operation on my head, part of the brain had to be removed. My operation was something which completely changed my life. From growing up close to family and friends my mood and inner belief started to deteriorate as I found it hard to get in to work related to my education and work as a whole. My confidence was down to a low, 4 years unemployed, lack of family support, family I turned to for help replied, 'You got to fight it yourself, we can't help you', this really demolished my family tree and beliefs. Form family I grew up with, family I supported when ever they required my services in their family businesses. All my belief in family had been demolished, my parents would invite family over I'd have nothing to talk about, which everybody started to label me boring even my brothers.

My depression had got so serious I was constantly thinking suicide, went to counselling sessions, I felt worthless no family, no friends, no work, nothing. Anxiety kicked in as my confidence was an all low, I lived in a house of up to 7 people which increased to 8 as my parents believed the best way for me to overcome my depression would be for me to get married, irregardless of me having no work, they told me they'd help me out with money, etc.

Got married the first 2 years of my marriage piled more pressure on my mind, leading to a breakdown, it was a new life, I had the responsibility to look after my wife even though I was out of work. Even she managed to get in to work before me despite coming over from abroad which really made me feel useless, I'd come across thoughts of suicide and came close numerous times to ending my life.

I tried my hardest to find a job, I decided to forget finding a job related to my degree and just applied anywhere, in 2012 a friend told me how an agency were recruiting, I applied and got accepted work involved food production.. From then on my attitude and confidence started to build up. I'd got my wife in to work after a few months, which didn't go with other family members in my house as it was down to jealousy. As soon as I got my wife in to work, my family piled more pressure on me, I had to move out, take on responsibility even thought I was the youngest of three by 7 years, as my parents told me leave.

I didn't have much knowledge in household costs, bills, way of living, but my parents didn't care, they showed more consideration for their daughter in law, my brothers wife who had given them grand children. I've been in my own house with my wife, my first 6 months started off in constant stress coming to terms with weekly bills, etc, covering all costs. After my 6 months of hell, I've adapted to life on my own with my wife. It's helped me overcome my depression as I've got a bit responsibility on my head, something my family and friends thought I'd never be able to manage.

I believe my depression has been overcome due to responsibility, sense of power, work and married life my partner has been there for me through hard times we've experienced between each other and people outside. Now I believe in order for me to remain strong I need to prove a point to those who thought nothing of me through my depression. My confidence is slowly rising, but my anxiety disorder continues as I can have mood swings and don't feel confident in starting conversations. These are related to my constant thinking of all the people I'be lost, I'm trying to believe I'll live my life with my partner alone, and to forget about family and friends, but it's a part of my jigsaw, I've still got the great memories of my time with family. The only thing that gets me down.

I'd be willing to help others help if they require it

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  • Posted

    Thank you for posting, I can relate to what you went through. I was put under alot of pressure to find work when I hadn't really decided what I wantde to do. As a result f this I was threatened by my dad on numerous occassions. On one he have me a box, told me to pack and leave. I dont think he understood the state I was in. Depression froze me and I didn't know what to do. I was 17 at the time.

    I slowly improved after meeting my wife in 2001. The difference somone who believes in you can make is amazing. Sadly I got into a job I really wasn't suited to and that sent me back how I was in my teens. I'm now 31 and trying to recover but get dragged back down again every now and then (I'm still in the same job, well paid but I'm not very good at it)

    I, like many, read forums like this in hope that somone has experienced something like this and can provide an idea of how to get out of the state we're in. Your post was very helpful and I just wanted to say good luck with it. I dont think responsibility is something that would snap me out of it because the weight of it is partly causing my depression, but each to their own. I'll be fine eventually.

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  • Posted


    I totally understand your whole situation. I think I've been suffering from depression a good few years now but finally seeking help and doing something about it. I've always been a family person but sometimes felt like the black sheep of the family, when me and my partner lived with my parents they always put us down saying cant wait for yous to get your own place and see how you cope etc, it was constant. Then my parents were forced to sell the house over money issues and we had no where to live. As mum was staying at my brothers and my dad at my sisters, couldn't think what we were going to do. So i panic and found a place to rent. Its lovely it is hard its a massive change. Especially on mine and my partners relationship you kinder feel grown up.

    So I've done and set up all the bills with abit of help of my friend, but i didnt have a clue about anything. I left my permanent job to get back into design work up London which my partner always kept pushing me to get back into it. Partly the way I've been feeling i wasn't enjoying the job i kept comparing to my last so wasn't interacting with new people just an outsider.

    Start of year the 2nd of January actually they let me go which I was more relieved but kicking myself thinking what do i do now, I've been so stressed out with my parents selling the house, our relationship, moving into rental property, changing jobs, loosing my job. Think its all caught up on me and felt worthless like a failure. I had many times where I felt sucidal, holding on by a thread. It just felt like a lot of stuff had triggered it i was a ticking bomb.

    So I'm on antidepressants i do feel better just the side effects, keep getting anxiety attacks knowing I'm leaving the house and especially when I'm driving sometimes feel like i have to pull over and calm myself down. Still jobless I've been looking and got interview wed 25th so trying to get myself together for that.

    But i really understand your situation and its good your learnt to overcome it with your wife. She's probably been your rock without you knowing. To me thats all that matters in a relationship just the two people.

    Your get there eventually, we all will.

    Take care


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  • Posted

    To tony

    I've maintained responsibility to certain extent and I understand what your going through I had the same problems, were both the same age. The way I've overcome this barrier is to start by taking responsibility for a few things and slowly increasing. Cos I'm in my own house with my wife, it's all down to me, my wife's come over from abroad, I've given her some of the responsibility in terms of bills.

    But all the rest lies on my head I moved in from a house where parents were in charge of all the household bills, shopping, etc. I was forced out and had to learn everything as I moved in. I have sleepless nights due to constant thinking in terms of 'what ifs', ensuring everything is ok in the house, I've covered all the household bills, it's just the electrical, plumbing and gardening issues that worry

    Overcome responsibility problems, by taking charge of small things and you'll slowly master it. I was really bad I couldn't look after my money or anything I didn't know nothing about ISA's, different types of bank accounts, nothing.

    If you ever need any help just get back to me, suffering from depression and overcoming it, I've got a belief in helping others overcome theirs

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