weakness and sweating

Yes I have Linda. But I was never sure if this was FM or menopause symptoms or just hormonal. However,  I discovered that when I get emotional or worried, I get these symptoms quite strongly. So I guess stress can bring on these types of unpleasant reactions. As you know, we don’t manage stress well. So I do challenge my thinking on a regular basis now. I have been doing a great amount of work on myself lately. Often situations in our life that has been quite overwhelming and stressful, has contributed greatly to the onset of Fibromyalgia. I think that our worry and sometimes negative thinking can make our symptoms worse. So I have been working on dealing with difficult people and how they can make our insecurities and fears resurface. So after a great deal of research I am much better equipped to managing these difficult & demanding individuals in my life and not trying to ‘fix’ them or ‘help’ them to resolve their own issues. I allow them to deal with their problems and find their own solutions. I am kind but I don’t get involved with their dramas. They sap our precious energy and we are never really successful in ‘helping’ them since they never seem to want to help themselves. I am learning to build my self worth and self confidence and the ability to say No now. You really do teach people how to treat you. Since I no longer fall into the dramas or in doing the ‘dance’ their words and behaviours create and that we cannot control; I now have a great deal more peace. I am giving myself the respect I deserve. If we have been a People Pleaser most of our lives, trying to get our own sense of validation from outside ourselves; then this will never work and we will only end up feeling exasperated and drained. I have also learned the power of ‘Silence’! I have had verbally abusive people in my life off and on since childhood. Even our children can be disrespectful in that destructive pattern as well. Now when I get abused either through put downs or criticism, I simply keep silent and walk away. All the words you could say, would never translate as much as your silence. It gives you the dignity to not stoop to their level and it also magnifies their own words and behaviours, into their own awareness. They then really ‘hear’ themselves. Then they have to deal with their own anger and dramas. It is very empowering and it only takes practice. Trying to argue or reason or justify ourselves with these ‘blamers’ can only create more conflict. You cannot reason with someone who is unreasonable. So this has been a victory on my part and I have gained a great deal of confidence and self respect as a result. So again, new methods to help us keep our precious energy and manage our stress more efficiently. Warm hugs! Maggie

Yes Linda, all of these negative interactions can really devestate us. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We do have a choice, not to internalise their attitude or words. And ironically, It usually never has anything to do with us. But because we have suffered a low self image because of criticism in the past, we unknowingly take on their ‘refuse’ even though it does not belong to us. If criticism comes from someone I respect and I know that they are speaking from a caring position, then I will consider what they have said, and if applicable, I will take it on board. But mostly, it comes from those who are just critical and demeaning. They have an agenda and wish to dump their frustrations onto someone vulnerable. However I can say Linda that there are actual Self Help books out there that can truly help us to discover who we really are and to embrace our qualites, talents and aptitudes. Many of us lost their self worth in childhood and this carried on even into adulthood. So getting to know ourselves, our likes, our dislikes, our convictions etc, can truly enhance our life. We begin to see our worth as an individual and we no longer need the approval of others to feel good about who we are. So I am so pleased that you have experienced the effects of not trying to retaliate or explain, reason, argue etc. It is so Powerful! Allowing others to deal with their issues is a blessing both to them and to ourselves. Learning to self care and nurture US, is the best gift we can give to others as well. We become stronger and their words no longer have the same impact. We come from a place of self confidence and we know who we are. We do not have to expose ourselves to this soul destroying influence. So, leaving the room is our prerogative. We do not have to carry someone elses load, unless it is our children. And even they, at a certain age of reason, must bare the consequences of their decisions and words. You will see how much your health will improve Linda. We really do not appreciate how much our energy is compromised by trying to fix, deal with or reason with other unreasonable people. You will also come to truly appreciate the ones who are sincere and cooperative among your friends and family members. The ones who lift you up instead of tearing down. The ones who are empathetic, kind and understanding. The ones you can trust and share your thoughts and dreams with. These are the ones we can communicate and interact with, without becoming mentally and physically exhausted! Cherish these ones but limit your contact with the others. It is truly life changing! Maggie x