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Weed addiction! Not smoked 23 days, feel so lonely and sad!

Posted , 5 users are following.

rachel_14998
rachel_14998

Hi I'm new to this so bare with me, i started smoking at 16 I'm now 33, it was just fun then but as I got older and things happened in my life I began smoking more and more so from about 10 years ago Iv been smoking all day every day and for the most part loved it I can't lie, the last 4 years has been less fun I found if I ran out or couldn't get any i became really angry and anxious until I got some more, my husband begged me to try and stop so for him and my kids (unaware I smoked weed) decided I would do the  stoptober, I am now on day 26 and I'm still so depressed, feeling extremely sad and lonely, I have always suffered from what I think is social anxiety disorder and don't make friends easily so since moving for his work 4 years ago I haven't really made any friends here and I'm finding it so hard to cope with, my husband has never really been interested in weed so just doesn't get what I'm going through he works away a lot so Formosa of the time it's just me and the kids, anyone else understand? 😔

2 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • jules81598
    jules81598 rachel_14998

    Posted

    Hi rachel, 

    Congratulations on getting so far, you are doing brilliantly & you should be really proud of yourself. My name is julia & my story is a bit like yours, i started at 14 & i'm 38 now. Like you i've been smoking more & more & it's got completely out of control. I've a kid of 3 & i'm a single mum with a very complicated relationship with his dad. He has just recently come out as a junkie after stealing a lot of money & it's made me have a long look at myself so i'm on day 7 of smoking & can only hope i can 

    • jules81598
      jules81598

      Posted

      Get as far as you. I've found forums on the internet to be helpful as it's good to know you're not doing this alone. It must be difficult for your husband to understand what all the fuss is about & it must be frustrating for you cos you are doing a brilliant job & maybe you don't feel appreciated for all your hard work. You don't say how many kids you have or what age they are but i know from having one that it's a hard thankless task & it's enough to leave you feeling lonely & depressed on it's own without having to deal with giving up the smoke as well. I remember reading that giving up anything long term is like a death & as such you could be going through a grief process.

      it's highly likely that your addicition was some anxiety issues or undiagnosed depression and now everything is coming to the surface. I stoppedast year for a few months & found exercise, particularly e

      walking helped improve my mood. I only started again when my baby daddy came back on the scene & things have been going downhill since.

      is there anyone you can speak to.where you live? Any mothers & toddler groups or kids parks you can hang about to try & make friends? I'm better at the theory of this cos my smoking meant i pushed everyone away so i'll have to start again making friends - hopefully we've found one in each other. I also read that everyone deals with some social anxiety but it's about pushing on & it'll get easier in time - again i'm better at the theory of this one but i'll keep you posted. 

      Finally, look at the positives - you have a loving family who all want you to be the best you can be, & you are doing brilliantly so far - keep up the good work, it can only get easier. Have more sex, exercise & look on the net for support - you can do this!!! 

      Xxxxx

  • MRSAST
    MRSAST rachel_14998

    Posted

    Hi Rachel , first of all "WELL DONE"  :0) You are doing really well :0) x

    Like you I smoked from being a young teenager so at around 40 when I started not enjoying it anymore I tried to remember the time before I smoked to try to tap into feelings of feeling energetic , non smelly, waking up ready to go rather than groggy n smelly n aggravated. It was difficult but I found smelling my hair all fresh and my hands all fresh really encouraged me to keep going. At the end of the day it is an addiction but the strongest person is you, it doesn't go away easily but if you keep taking steps away from it eventually it won't have a hold over you and will be nothing more than an expensive glitch in your life! 

    Dont look back you are not going that way, keep enjoying  happy fresh energetic days with your lovely family :0)

    Best wishes Rachel , you can conquer it :0) X

     

  • anita11057
    anita11057 rachel_14998

    Posted

    Yes well done rachel and julie . Addiction of any sort is so hard to conquer.It will start to get better xxx
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