week 10
Posted , 2 users are following.
Hi all!
Today is week 10 day 1 for me. I've been having some awesome "normal" days lately and feeling back to my normal self again. I woke up today feeling somewhat blah...I also could just be tired...lol.
Sometimes I ask myself if my anxiety was really that bad that I had to go on medication for it or do I really even need to be on medications... It has helped me tremendously with social anxiety and the ruminative thoughts, so I try to tell myself yes it has helped you and will continue to help you....but then I just freak myself out that I should get off of medications all together and do natural things to combat anxiety. Medications are scary to me, especially at my age but I know that they are made to help.
Sometimes I don't even feel like myself period, but maybe it's a good thing since I've always just been super anxious and shy... I often wonder how things would be if I never started taking medications. Would I have gotten better and stronger with dealing with thoughts and anxiety? I wonder how things would be if I stopped taking medications altogether... I get scared Zoloft has ruined myself. But I continue to try telling myself it's for the better..
I just want to take my medication everyday without the thought of "something is wrong with you" or "you're not normal and you will never be normal" I want to take it without any thought to it at all and just be the happy Mariah again.
I apologize for the longest post in history, but this has just been on my mind all morning today.
0 likes, 3 replies
Neelie44567 mariah69970
Posted
It is my opinion that taking Sertraline when you have bad anxiety IS the "natural" way to cope. Luckily for most people, anxiety is usually experienced in a way that these "average" people learn to deal with it. People like me, who have always been anxious, are at times not able to stop the anxiety from spiraling out of control. I thank God every day that there is medicine available for those who suffer from this horrible disorder.
I remind myself that the medicine is merely allowing the "natural" Serotonin to remain in my brain long enough so that I can manage my severe anxiety. What's normal, anyhow? Most of us humans deal with some form of stress-related coping mechanisms. You are doing the best you can. Your anxiety is making you worry about whether you are normal or not. You WILL be the "Happy Mariah" in time. Hang in there.
mariah69970 Neelie44567
Posted
Thank you for your reply. It's somewhat hard for me to overcome the guilty feeling for having to take medication. I like what you said about the natural serotonin in our brains. My anxiety is always lingering telling me I shouldn't have started medicine and that I don't feel "normal". Maybe it's because I'm finally not having excessive anxiety like before, and I notice I'm not so nervous and anxious all the time... I'm always trying to find a way to justify why I feel the way we all feel sometimes..oh it's just that I'm tired or oh it's just because of this and that....I am feeling better, I just need to find a way to accept the fact that I am unbalanced and have this disorder and that IT IS OKAY. Sorry for the long reply.
Neelie44567 mariah69970
Posted
What you said is so true. The Sertraline helps me to stay "balanced." I can accept that I have to take medicine for severe anxiety the rest of my life. ANYTHING that helps me to not have severe anxiety is worth the effort. Many people deal with physical disorders, (diabetes, heart disease, cancer, etc.), and although it's a drag, they cope with it. You and I and so many others are doing the best that we can.
By-the-way, I have learned that many negative thoughts that my anxiety has placed in my head over the years are LIES. The Sertraline helps me to think more clearly and rationally, helping me manage the negative thoughts. Taking medicine is not fun. But again, I am grateful that medicine is available to help me to lead a more "natural" life. God bless you.