Week 3

Posted , 7 users are following.

So here i am week 3.......

I feel so apprenhive about this week for some reason?

On week 2 i was taking 2 tabs in morning and then alternating between 1 and 2 tabs every 2 hours, this week i am taking 2 tabs in morning and then 1 tab every 2 hours. I feel so nervous and a small part of me does not want to go any further i feel i just having cut back from 16 a day to 11 tabs a day is an achivement and feel proud as this is the least amount of tabs i have taken in 2 1/2 years. But i also really really want to go all the way in the sense that my aim is to be codeine free by xmas . I know i can do this but change is hard and i admit at this present time 2 mins away from taking my 1st 1 tab i am having serious doubts.

Is this normal?

Why am i feeling like this?

I feel weak that i am considering giving in at this stage.

Last week i felt stronger and more determined than this.

On a plus side i have hardly visited any pharmacies for my weeks supply and strangely am missing them. lol

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  • Posted

    teresa36659, even cutting down your intake by one tablet each week is something to be proud of.You are doing really well. Almost everyone who has addiction problems has some kind of underlying problem. I was fairly athletic when I was younger and then in my twenties I began to eat too much and put on a lot of weight. I knew I couldn't go on like this so I got down to it and lost that extra six stone.However I always had the idea in the back of my mind that if I lost the weight not all of my problems would go with it. But I was only partly right in thinking this. All my problems did not go away, but they became much easier to manage,  I was addicted to codeine as in co-codomol for fifteen years. When I finally went to the doctor for help he said I should have been dead years ago, but the fact  that I am such a big man saved my life. By then my weight was back to normal and he meant big as I am  6' 4''. Everyday during my addiction I woke up at dawn after a sweaty restless night watching the clock waiting for the pharmacy's to open. I reached rock bottom one Monday morning when I visited the usual pharmacy where the rather timid pharmacist gave me what I needed and took the money without saying a word, Despite this I would always say please and thank you., One morning I dropped the coins from my change and as I picked them up a lady asked the same pharmacist for 24 nurofen plus, he refused. She then asked him fr twelve and he refused even more rudely. It suddenly dawned on me that this pharmacist was intimated by me, and my beard and longish hair and of couse size. I was mortified as I am not this kind of person, if he had said no, i would simply have said thank you and went somewhere else. I was out the door just before the lady who had been refused when she tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to sell her some of the nurofen plus I had bought. She was well dressed, well spoken, and obviously well to do, but addiction knows no boundry's, She was in bits and obviously desperate for codeine. I refused her money but gave her twelve tablets for which she was very grateful. Now she said when these had taken the edge off her withdrawls, she would drive to some nearby towns and replenish her stock. I was shocked that my appearence would intimate a pharmacist and that such a respectable middle class lady would sink so low because of a substance that their are almost no places in treatment centres for. I hadn't been to a doctor for years, but he was sympathic and put me on a reducing dose of pure codeine and as I was taking so much it was almost a year before i was completely free of this poison. There were days when I took seventy tablets and this didn't happen overnight. It gradually takes more and more codeine to have the same efffect. teresa36659 you are well on your way to overcoming your addiction. And when you do become clean, you'll find you problems are not that serious afterall and you'll be able to handle them much better. I too missed the routine of the daily ritual of trying to figure out which pharmacy to visit to procure my fix........I can only wish from the bottom of my heart, that you will suceed in beating this viscious monkey off your shoulder......I'm sure you will........kindest regards Banesh

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    • Posted

      Hi Tim

      Thanks so much for your kind words it means so much.

      So glad and pleased for you that you have managed to beat your addiction.

      It suprises me everyday when i read some posts or see people that this addiction has no class it effects anyone. I know that i always am warned 'only for short term use' 'no longer than 3 days' but it is the responsibilities of the paharmacists and the pharmacy colleagues to reconise when people have a problem and there should be treatment centres. This addiction is worse than anyone can imagine as many people including myself hide this from family and friends. Something needs to be done cause like you mentioned if you were not a tall man you may be dead now and that thought must have been very scary.

      One of the reasons i firts cut down was i was scared of the amount of paracetamol now i want to cahnge and i am fed up with the walk of shame.

      Today i feel much more determined, i have to remember that i must take each day as it comes and that this can be done you and many others on here are proof of that.

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    • Posted

      Hi drew, yes I am completely clear of nutrofrn plus now and  having wasted the best years of my life on this stufff, not to mention the financial cost. I'm convinced that addicts are made not born and like people who lose lots of weight, many of their original problems still remain, but they are far easieer to handle. You'll hear people say that going cold turkey while giving up codeine is as hard as giving up heroin, but this is not true, Have you ever heard of a person craving codeine mugging some old lady for his next box of nurofen plus? I saw people coming off heroin years ago and there is no comparison. Not many survive the ordeal without expert help. Anyone who tells you that coming off codeine is as hard as coming off heroin simply doesn't know what their talking about. Coming off codeine is very difficult and it seems  that tapering the amount you take is maybe the most advisable option. But tapering implies that you have extra pills in the house if you need them. Very few codeine addicts could resist taking extra tablets if they fell the effects of tapering in the middle of the night. You need to keep the minimum amount of pills to enable you to taper off, and perhaps leave any extra you might have with a trusted family member or friend. If one doctor won't help you  with meds to lesson the withdrawl symtems then you can easily find one who will. Amazingly doctors and similar health workers are the proffessions with the highest number of people who abuse meds.  You can control some of the effects of coming off codeine youself such as arrett or motilluim for the runs, but paracetimol won't make much of an impression on your headache. You can't control your restless legs and sleepless nights without strong willpower or your doctors help. One minure in bed you'll be pouring with sweat, the next you'll be freezing. IF you can get through seven days without codeine than the cure is in your own hands......Everyday you stay on codeine is a wasted oportunity to do something else with your life, who knows what a persons life could become with being lost  in the fog of what is effect morphine.  I can't buy nirofen plus in my towm now, even if I wanted to, but a friend of mine who is a postman is forever complaining of the increase in his burden of packages since the restrictions on nurofen plus came into effect. People are buying all they need  online. My liife has inproved beyond all recognition since I kicked this habbit. My old and battered computer has been replaced and I'm even back driving. Don't waste anymore of your life and money. Look around your house. Think of what the money you spend on you habit could do to make you so much mor comfortable, but most of all think of your healtj, it'll be too late when your kidneys have failed of your being operated on for bleeding ulcers!,,,,,,,I genuinely wish you the best and I'll always aswer any question you might want to ask me...regards Tim

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    • Posted

      Hello Tim. Thank you so much for an absolutely helpful and heartwarming post. You have made some great suggestions. I am sure I and others will find it helpful. I want so much to be free but worry about how I will cope without my highs... that's how rediculous this is. Congratulations on your achievement. It is inspiring to read it. Will keep in touch. Drew x

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  • Posted

    Hi Tim, Teresa, Drew, Nikki, Katyp et al,

    You are correct - this drug knows no stereotypes, and I am shocked at just how deep within our society that this 'respectable' drug goes. I know the feeling of refusal - from someone who doesn't know, doesn't understand and you feel judgementalism seeping from their power tripped pores.

    What a  guy in giving that lady some help Tim. We all know that the problems we face seem hugely amplified when priority number one is to sort out the fix first. We can use drug terms here no matter how uncomfortable that may sound, and as there exists programs for heroin users to get clean, there also too exists treatment centres for people like us, addicted to readily available OTC codeine.

    I'm a film-maker and intend to blow the lid off this, and as part of this documentary will need to speak to doctors, pharmacists, psychiatrists, addicts for two reasons: firstly, this needs the same exposure as alcohol awareness. Although we don't go out to pill pubs and socialise, no-one questions anyone about popping a pill - easily excused by any number of resonable excuses - even selling it to our partners. But secondly, it's a killer. Apart from costing us an absolute fortune, it costs the NHS an absolute fortune, and worse, I am in no way a conspiricay theorist but when I voiced an opinion that codeine phospate just does not work, what exactly is in nurofen plus? It says ibuprofen and codeine phosphate, so, if that's the case, by just taking prescribed codeine phosphate should make one feel exactly the sameas taking nurofen plus minus the horrible belly feeling of ingesting quantites of ibuprofen.

    Also, it is recommended by the makers that we should take no more than 6 per day for a max of 3 days. That's 18. So why on earth do they sell boxes of 32?

    As far as getting off the stuff goes, for me, taper does not work. Cold turkey does not work. The only thing that is working (very well) is buprenorphine. Yes, it is an opiate. Yes it is addictive. Very yes, it takes every single thought of chemists and codeine away without blowing your face off in the process. Plus, it iws managed at YOUR rate. You dictate the terms of taper. I know I just said taper doesn't work for me, but this is different. I'm now down to 4mg from 6mg, coming off at  400 microgrammes (o.4mg) every 2 weeks. Because of it's very long half life, when my daily dose is very small, I will be reducing to virtually nothing.

    I was admitted to hospital two weeks ago after an 88 N+ binge - a computer error reduced my buprenorphine by 1mg, so be careful with it - it is slow releasing and powerful, but it will get you off codeine. Remember well though, this works for me, and the last thing I want to do is preach - though, I was given a thorough MOT and a clean bill of health after slamming these b'stards for 3 years. Indeed a wake up call.

    All the best,

    Rich

     

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    • Posted

      Hi Rich

      I hope you do make a documentary on this serious situation, the public need to be aware of how serious this stuff can be. It is so worrying as i know from working in a pharmacy that young people from 18 on wards are buying this for minor pain such as period pain or toothache, my daughter was 13 at the time and she was prescribed it for migraine. I of course never let her touch the stuff out of fear of what could happen (i took them of course).

      Well done for what stage you are at now. However you got there it could not have been easy and how scary being addmitted to hospital over it.

      I know you mentoned there were clinics available for this addiction but i have done abit of research in my local are of Essex and there dont seem to be any at all that cover that addiction, there is the usual drink and illegal drugs. It is such a shame cause the pharmacists are aware of the addiction i just dont think that the GP's are willing to admit this so much. They are just happy to prescribe this alwful drug as it is cheap.

      Keep us informed on how the documentary goes.

      Keep working hard to beat this addiction, you will do this.

      Teresa

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    • Posted

      Hi Rich

      That's a fabulous idea. There are some pharmacists who rigorously check before they sell (not good when you're addicted) but there are others who never query it. It would be good to focus on that too.

      This addiction has no boundaries. I am a profesisional guy who has nevr been addicted to anything. I just started using NP on recommendation from a pharmacist for my shoulder pain. Now I can't stop. My life is so miserable. Thanks again for your post x DREW

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