Week 3

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Right guys. Week 3 and I am exactly the same as I was before I started the tablets. 108.3 kg. Not even a .1 kg or anything! 

On the one hand this is obviously very frustrating. My only consolation is the fact that since I haven't had any side effects (in fact I haven't #2 since day before yesterday---back to my normal?) that perhaps my diet never really had to many fats in it. 

Orlistat works by binding to fats, so I am not eating fats normally...so it ''isnt'' working. It will work in the sense to keep me from eating any fats, but it wont work in the sense if fat is already not the problem.

So anyway I have been logging all my food and staying within the calorie guidelines given by putting in my hieght/weight and how much I want to lose...they give you the number... I have been sticking to it. 

According to it I should have lost 2.2 kg in the last month...but I haven't. 

Double frustration. 

So the only thing I know is to start cutting my carbs right back. Now this generally works pretty well for me, and I do tend to start losing weight. The only problem? They diets tend to encourage healthy fats...Eggs, avocado, nuts...you can see where that is going to go with Orlistat right?

So..that leaves me with a Higher protein, low carb low fat...diet basically. Which I am sure everyone will be all ''you will have no energy'' and you cant live without carbs and/or healthy fats. 

But I can't live fat either. I want this to finally change. I am doing what I am supposed to do and it isn't working. So where do I go from here?!

I have recently come to a sorta ''life chaning revelation'' as it were that my entire life I have been focused on my weight as my main issue. In reality I have OCD which has led me to actually be a Bulimic. I just don't purge. Now if you don't have a clue what I am talking about OCD causes me to get anxious about stuff that may or may not actually happen, I get sad/stressed/upset and ''have a treat to make myself feel better'' ---read I self medicate with sugar because sugar gives you a feel good high as it were--- then the bulimia kicks in. I go on a crazy health kick cutting everything out because I have ''binged'' so I punish myself with some crazy diet scheme to lose weight...until I break and binge again. I never thought of that as an eating disorder but it is. It wasn't until I did it and tried to actually make myself sick that I looked it up, ashamed of myself, and realised you can have bulimia without the vomitting. 

Anyway. The point of all this? I am trying. Really trying...to do this a healthy way. I don't want to resort to weight loss surgery. But I can't keep doing this. I am turning 30 this year and I have been dieting since I was 14. I dont want to do this anymore. I want to just focus on the rest of my life and not everything that I am putting in my mouth for the scale to laugh in my face EVERY SINGLE WEEK. 

Sorry if this is a bit of a downer post. I don't really have anyone else to talk to about it. Have to be the happy mom and wife you know. 

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi cryingdietgirl just seen your other post about this in check in thread. I feel your frustration and we are in quite similar situations.

    Have you had success with weight loss before? Without pills? How many g of carbs are you having per day? What exercise are you doing?

    I know it's no consolation but on a positive note at times like these I try and remember that I'm working on changing my bad eat habits and hopeful this might be a lasting side effect of these pills x

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    • Posted

      I have tried an enormous amounts of diets. That is part of the cycle. Binge for a week...then spend three months being perfect....just to break and binge again. Anyway what I have found to work FOR ME are things that drastically reduce carbs. 

      Carb night solution, no white (no flour/sugar/dairy) that type of thing. I have never really done it moderately (ie letting myself have like 100g  of carbs per day). I tend to go all or nothing. Not one cracker will pass these lips or I have failed mentality. (And if I fail I might as well fail big! so Stuff it all tonight and start again monday!) That is obviously what I need to fix. But when I do these diets I tend to lose a considerable amount of weight, both quickly, and steadily over the weeks as they pass. So it isn't just ''water weight'' like the first week. It does seem to keep coming off until I mess it up. So I do think my body is Carb sensitive.

      I have tried low fat diets now with orlistat, once for 5 months with a personal trainer, slimfast, and several others. I can honestly say that when I am doing these programs I am giving it 110%. Working out.. eating right...not cheating or kidding myself. And I don't tend to lose more than 1-2 lbs in MONTHS of hard work. Then something happens ---I now know it is likely an OCD flair up-- and it all goes to pot somehow. 

      Before I never really knew what it was that made me stop. But I sorta feel like a light bulb was ignited last week. Everytime I am doing well I have something trigger my OCD and my mental state just drives me to eat sugar to cheer up. And then I have failed...so I might as well fail big. 

      I am glad I have identified that. I think that it will help me finally break this cycle.  I am 100% sure that my weight isn't the problem. It is the symptom. I need to shift my focus on how I handle my OCD flare ups.

      But in the mean time I need to find an effective way for my body to lose weight without the 100% or nothing mentality to trigger the bulimic behaviour. 

      I hope this is all making sense. 

      So I guess I am kinda looking to vent with you guys. But also to make sure that the plan I have in my head is ''okay''. Not just another crazy bulimic insane diet I will ultimately fail if you know  what I mean. 

      Currently my carbs this week have come in about 250g per day which is pretty normal range expected or advised, but it is generally high for my successful diets if you know what I mean. 

      So for this week 3-4 of orlistat my plan is to continue with orlistat and low fat eating, and try to reduce my carbs to less than 100g per day. This is a moderately low amount. From what I read 50g -150 g is considered low so I am going to start smack in the middle and see if there is any weight loss. If not I can gradually lower it each week. I dont want to start in the lower end and not be able to lower it (that's what I would have done before!). 

      And to answer your question this is the first weight loss pill I have taken. I only started taking them because I went to my doctor for help, to show him I have been working out and logging my food and he didn't even really look off his computer before saying ''just take these and see how you get on''. So I am not really an expert in diet pills or weight loss aids in that sorta sense. 

      In terms of exercise I was doing a program called Chalene Extreme which I have had some success with in the past. It includes weight lifting 3x per week, and cardio 2-3 times as well.

      I will be honest and say that I haven't worked out in about a week because I had my whole light bulb moment and a sick baby and I just needed to take a few days to get my head straight. 

      Generally I keep pretty good to my exercise as I do actually enjoy it so bar this last week I know that isn't my problem. Not to even mention I chase 3 kids all day so on my feet ALL THE TIME! Ha ha

      I do know that even though I am having these frustrations I am at least learning more than I did before. I always had my focus wrong. For 16 years it has just been ''calories in, calories out'' why isn't this working?! I know that I workout and most days I eat healthier than 80% of the population. But that can change instantly if my OCD kicks off and then its an all or nothing until I drag myself back out of the pit. So I guess now that I know WHY I always fail, maybe I can stop it before it happens next time?! 

      I feel hopeful. Like I might actually have a chance now, instead of being side swipped going what happened this time? 

       

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    • Posted

      It's very hard to find a balance when you suffer with these type of issues (I know!) so sympathise with you. At the moment I'm doing lower carbs (I can never stay below 120 though but it's still low for me). I have pcos so also go for months going up and down the same few pounds (have you had tests for any medical issues that may affect weight btw? I only ask as you'd said you'd go a months and lose only 1-2lbs). I haven't really got any good advice for you other than to say what is working for me at the moment with the binge cycle - I drink protein shakes (low sugar, low ish carb) for breakfast and lunch and this takes the thought process out for me. E.g. Before I'd have a sandwich but then decide you can't have that without crisps and a little choc bar and it kind of all went wrong from there. So between shakes and pill I think (hope) I'm training my brain out of my bad relationship with food by taking decisions out of the equation if that makes any sense?! Not saying that'll be helpful to you but just wanted to share.

      Could you maybe try mixing up your exercise regime a bit? Maybe that might help? I know that weight training changes your body composition but guessing you'd have expected to see a few pounds off at least by now.

      I would be hopeful for you also that you can see where you fall down so maybe get some kind of plan formulated in your head as to what to do next time you feel a slip coming?

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  • Posted

    Sweetheart I wish I could you a hug. I completely 100% identify with ALL your issues...you could have been writing about me except I have let the cycle get me to being almost 37 & weighing, at my heaviest, 28st. I was literally told yesterday I am on borderline type 2 diabetic & its all my own fault but whenever something upsets my mental health (tricky as I suffer from depression & my antidepressants cause an increase in appetite so have gained 5st in 3yrs through this alone) I treat myself as I crave the sugar hug I get.

    I too find lower carbs = greater weight loss but I do not do anywhere near as much exercise as you & I'd worry that you wouldn't have enough energy to keep that up with low carbs.

    I also switch things up by doing shakes for breakfast & lunch (still with orlistat) for a couple of days a week or maybe even a week. I then have a weight watchers from Heinz ready meal as they're only about 400cals & come in low for fat & carbs but I bulk it out with tons of veg or salad. I prob couldn't do it for too long as I crave real food but it mixes things up which I firmly believe makes your body work harder as it doesn't get complacent leading to greater losses. Plus I am in the referral stage for weight loss surgery & if successful I will have to follow slim Fast etc afterwards anyway.

    Have you outlined all of this with your Dr? Could you if you haven't already? I have & I admit I very lucky in that my GP is brilliantly supportive. You can rant on here as you & share your epiphanies too.. we'll support you xx

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  • Posted

    Just responded to you in my own thread...You have my total sympathy and I know, like many of us here, what you`re going through. Feeling big and uncomfortable, affects so many things in life; like self confidence, mood, energy...

    ​I think you`ve, like me, come to a point where you see that this has to end.

    ​If Orlistat isn`t working for you, you might just go for something else. You say that you allready know what works for you - LCHF. I`ve done that kind of diet too, earlier, and lost 17 kgs (like 32 lbs), but then I got pregant again, and there we go.

    ​You might be extra carb sensitive if your thyroid isn`t working well. Have you checked this out? also, like I mentioned in the other thread, you might check your insulin level and leptin level.

    ​I used to be insulin resistant, and then (combined with hypothyroidism) it`s really hard to lose weight, but the thing to do is cutting carbs really.

    ​I`d discuss these issues with my doc if I were you, because I know there IS some way you`ll be able to do this - all the way. Perhaps fat in your diet is your problem, peraps you`d rather benefit from a lowcarb diet. We`re all different.

    ​Just want you to know you`re not alone in this, it`s so frustrating and tough really, not to manage lose that weight. I`m quite sure people around us don`t understand the struggle - therefore this forum is great. We`re in it together, and you can do this !!

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    • Posted

      Thanks everyone for all the great replies. I guess it is one of those things that one thing won't work for everyone. This is just a long journey until we find the magic key for each of us. 

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