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Week 6 - emotional roller coaster!

Posted , 4 users are following.

kaseydawn
kaseydawn

Hey everyone I posted 2weeks ago and I was feeling very suicidal, unmotivated and upset. I was on week 4 of fluoxetine. Since I posted that about a week later I was beginning to feel like myself again. I stopped thinking about my anxiety more and more and found myself a lot happier and I was pretty much back to my old self. I decided that I felt able to go out with my friends clubbing since I hadn't seen them in so long that weekend and it was fine! I had drank a little bit of alcohol that night even though I planned not too since I'm trying to stay away from all that til I'm better but. Despite drinking the alcohol it didn't seem to have any major effects on me, except that I felt symptoms of depersonalisation that next day and for a few days after. I'm not really too bothered by depersonalision as I started experiencing symptoms since I was 16 (two years ago). The symptoms always come and go depending on stressful stages during my life. I also know that alcohol can play a part in this but I decided to ignore that and went clubbing that following week two nights in a row despite feeling depersonalision. Both nights were actually good except Friday night where I was feeling really drunk on an empty stomach I had to calm myself down because I didn't feel like I was really there. But again I ignored it and when I got into the club I drank thoughout the night up until 6am. The next day I felt really tired and also just not feeling like I was really there. It's now Sunday I've been in bed all day and reluctant to move because I'm expierencing depersonalision really intensely and although I have been through it its just really frustrating. I feel like when I get though one milestone another one comes along.. I know that I probably didn't help it by drinking alcohol but I just wanted to feel like myself again and didn't want my anxiety to control my life. I want to be able to do the things I used to do but then my anxiety is just like no I control you. I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coater because one moment I'm feeling like myself and the next I'm 100 steps behind that. I feel like I've been on fluxtonie for like months but it's only been 6 weeks... Ugh I just need advice to be strong and get through this rolleyes

0 likes, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • katecogs
    katecogs kaseydawn

    Posted

    As you're recovering you'll be up and down with your anxiety and emotions.  One day or week you'll feel like yourself, the next you'll feel like you're back to square one again.  This is quite normal and will eventually all even out, though it might take many months for this.

    Sometimes the down times might last a week or. 2, but don't worry, just keep on persevering and you'll find it'll pass in it's own time.  Don't rush to up your dose either - the feeling will go away.

    K x

    • katecogs
      katecogs

      Posted

      Forgot to add - you can't hurry recovery along, or make anxiety go quicker - it'll all happen in it's own time.  Just carry on with the medication, accept you will all over the place with anxiet at the moment, let the feelings be there, and eventually you'll find you'll eventually come through it all and feel good all the time.

      Perseverance and patience xx

    • karen76145
      karen76145 katecogs

      Posted

      Just wanted to say thanks, Kate, for your replies. They seem to come just when I need them most! Still hanging on. Slowly getting there. Very slowly!
    • katecogs
      katecogs karen76145

      Posted

      Glad they help Karen :-)

      Yes it happens so, so slowly - you hardly notice it happening.  It's great when you start feeling good all the time :-)

      K x

    • kaseydawn
      kaseydawn katecogs

      Posted

      It's so frustrating and such a long process! Also did you expierence depersonalisation symptoms? Though I normally get it from time to time however not this intensely and not as frequent. I'm not sure if it's due to the fluox or general stress.. I know that fluox can make you really spaced out which is how dp can make you feel but I also feel 'detached' from reality-literally.. I know that's a normal symptom of dp though it's quite annoying and prevents me from getting on with the day.. If I do things like stay in bed and watch movies it seems to disapair but I'm sick of that! I want to go running like I used too- yet I almost feel trapped in a cycle ugh sorry for complaining this much I probably have it good compared to others on this forum ahh thanks for your positivity and response though always appreciated x
    • katecogs
      katecogs kaseydawn

      Posted

      It was a long time ago when I was and first starting on meds, but I do remember feeling in a bubble and not in the same world sometimes.  Yes it can be part of depression, but I think it's more like the medication at the moment.  Another side effect that will wear off in time.

      Yes it's very frustrating waiting for the medication to work.  Each minute being ill is unbearable and we just want it to stop now.  It's hard to feel positive, hard to see the end result ........ but it will slowly happen.  When you're better you'll feel like taking up running again.  Can you go walking at the moment?

      No worries, and it's not 'complaining' at all.  We all want reassurance and encouragement - it's comforting :-)

      Just ask away ....... that's what the forum is for :-)

      K xx

       

  • peter18073
    peter18073 kaseydawn

    Posted

    Reading your post in like reading my own thoughts and experiences. I'm on week six and went on holiday overseas. Was feeling great the first few days and then got really drunk day 3 and have not felt the same since. I just want to lay in bed and not do anything. Feeling really low. I just hate thinking about my anxiety 24/7 and wish I could shut off my brain for 30 mins but it's not happening yet. Decided to quit drinking until I feel an improvement. Hoping the meds kick in the next few weeks. Reading people's posts on here help me to feel a bit more 'normal' cause my friends are supportive but have never dealt with anxiety before so can't relate to how I'm feeling. 
    • kaseydawn
      kaseydawn peter18073

      Posted

      Yeah I agree 100%. When I'm feeling extra low il come off this website and feel so much better knowing I'm not alone, and that it's not uncommon or abnormal. As fun as drinking is it's probably best we stay away from it especially in such tender stages of fluoxetine. Ive even tried smoking weed a few weeks ago which is not a good idea either. stay away from anything mind altering! Anyway I hope you can try to enjoy your holiday and take comfort knowing you'll be feeling really good really soon!! (:
    • katecogs
      katecogs peter18073

      Posted

      As you recover on the medication, your brain will slowly stop thinking of it all 24/7.  That's how I realised I was getting better - I'd suddenly think 'wow, I haven't thought of it for an hour' (or so on, whatever was happening).  Slowly normal thinking would come back and I'd feel free to think of other things again.

      If people have never experienced anxiety / depression, they haven't an inkling of how it actually feels.  You can tell them, describe the horror of it, but still the actual experience is way, way worse than anyone could imagine.  Also because you look 'ok' people assume you must be fine.  One friend said to me once, 'you're going on holiday next week, I'm sure when you've had a relaxing time away you'll come back all refreshed and better'.  I explained that I'd be taking 'it' with me, and no doubt will be bringing 'it' back with me.  And I did :-(

      K :-)

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