Weight loss..

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Im 16, from the Isle of Man.

So, around 18 months ago I was border line anorexic, 39kg at 14 and 5"6 ish. My mum noticed what was going on eventually, and told my pediatrician. And it went from there really.

Pediatricians, counsellors, dieticians..

Im now around 50kg, last time I was weighed. I got discharged from my dietician a few months ago, because she thought I was at an okay weight. But recently, I've been getting up late and missing breakfast and basically just not making the effort I should really. Maybe because of a boy being a but of a d*ck and messing with my feelings..

Its not that I dont eat, because I do. But my parents keep nagging at me and saying Im looking too thin and that they've seen "more fat on a chip".

Personally, I think now that I am 16 it should really be my decision what weight I am. I get that they are worried, but I just want to be the weight I want. But i cant.

I do want to gain weight and be able to wear a bikini, and not get the mickey take out of me for my small boylike frame. But, I just find it hard.

Any advice or anything would be much appreciated smile thank youu


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18 Replies

  • Posted

    Best advice is to talk to your doc, a dietician is a good idea,its like therapy for those of us with food or weight issues,but only if you feel its a problem for you or if your weight is a preoccupation. Dont let others put problems on to you
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    • Posted

      thanks for replying, i kinda waffled but i didnt know how to put it to be honest.. and thats the thing, I'm one of those people that everyone comes to with their problems. I help lots of people, and dont always think about myself. I dont know whether its a problem or not, I am slim and Im never going to be fat but if my parents keep saying it then it must be true.
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    • Posted

      If you find yourself worryibg about food or weight,and restricting your food or restrict other things to make yourself feel better,then yes it can become a problem. Parents aren't necessarily always right, dont be drawn into thinking that. Even if you did have an eating problem,just because your parents think its a problem isn't enough, you need to think its a problem too.
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  • Posted

    Hi Holly.

    General rule of thumb is not to post weights and calories on message boards as it can trigger other people (this illness is competitive to say the least).

    Just thought I'd let you know. Whilst this isn't official guidance on Patient UK (as it's unmoderated, any proper advice boards will edit this out).

    As you have provided your weight and height, I will say quite definitely that you are quite significantly underweight, and getting to a dangerous point.

    You might be 16 now, but if you were 25 your doctors would be giving you the exact same information.

    You cannot expect your body to function properly below your target weight band.

    You will experience irregular periods. It may be the difference between osteoporosis or not. You will have low blood sugar levels (which are just as dangerous as high blood sugar levels) and will be generally fatigued...I see you mentioned that you were having difficulty getting up in the morning. It's all interlinked.

    Whilst people can function, and maintain on a low weight, yours is TOO low, and they cannot sustain that low weight without their being secondary health problems.

    You may also find yourself more set by the scales, which lead you to a more slippery slope. Being in your band will mean you a lot more stable, and have your natural 1-3kg fluctuation, rather than your body trying to compensate for lost tissue etc.

    You are 16, so legally it's not your choice actually.  (Sorry!)

    When you are in your eating disorder, and at your current weight, it's more likely that your eating disorder is doing more work than you are, it's better to take advice of the people around you. 

    I feel your pain about summer bodies. I feel like screaming every day I get on the tube at the moment. I have the summer body advert on one side, and the 5:2 diet on another side, and then when I get to work and struggle with my lunch I get to hear people from another office in our shared canteen discuss their latest diets. 

    Try and use mindfulness to push out the eating disorder. 


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    • Posted

      Sorry this is dangerous and incorrect advice,I've had to report it. If someone has an eating issues, using undirected mindfulness before a diagnosis is dangerous and to "push out the eating disorder" is downright irresponsible.

      Holly please ignore this post,speak to your gp on your own terms to discuss things calmy, they will guide you

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    • Posted

      hey, im fine with what you said. Ive heard it all, it came as no shock. I heard it when I first started my recovery 18 months ago. Sometimes what you need is the harsh truth..
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    • Posted

      Jmcg, I'm sorry to hear that you feel that it was incorrect advice, but DBT is becoming a widely accepted practice in the treatment of eating disorders.

      My therapist used DBT and mindfulness in my recovery, and my dietician also worked with me in mindful eating.

      My follow up programme has included attending mindfulness classes.

      There has also been recent research to suggest that mindfulness is as successful in treating depression as medication. (It was recently published in the guardian online...you should check it out). I'll be intrigued when they do a study with eating disorders, because it has really helped me.

      I appreciate that different types of treatment aid different people. CBT is known to work better with bulimia nervosa for example.

      However, for many people the eating disorder is a symptom of underlying issues, and therefore emotional regulation is necessary in order to make a full recovery. Hence, the recommendation for mindfulness.

      I hope that explains things clearer. My post stands, as accurate, factually correct.


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    • Posted

      Indeed sometimes, but only you really know deep down,and we need to think of others who may read this and be in similar situations. Using therapy.techniques without a diagnosis and made to think eating disorders can be pushed away as kat suggested really could be amazingly damaging. Of course I'm sure kat meant no harm and I only reported it as if I had read that in my dark times it really would have affected me badly. No hard feelings all round I'm sure. We're all here to help each other after all
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    • Posted

      Holly does have a diagnosis, if you read her post properly.

      She was asking for support in getting back on track, and validation on whether she could stay at her current weight.

      I stand by what I said, posting weights are not helpful. However, I have been able to quickly analyse how underweight she is by the height she has given, knowing my own height and weight. 

      My turn of phrase, pushing the eating disorder away isn't necessarily the best choice of words, but the principle is there. If you read my above post on mindfulness, you learn to be better at staying in the present.

      Likewise with DBT, you learn coping strategies such as distress tolerance e.g. my weight went up 1kg - am I catasphropising (gah can never spell that word)? Is it really a weight increase, or is it fluid fluctuation? My weight has gone up by 1kg, but actually it needs to do this because I am still below target, and therefore my body is trying to replace tissue...

      Do I compensate? Calling a friend is better. Watching Friends.

      Yes, my choice of wording could be better, but I'd far rather you reported posts that are actually triggering. I've seen posts telling me the number of calories consumed, number of laxatives taken etc etc. Those are far more damaging to someone in an eating disorder mindset, than a difficult choice of words.


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    • Posted

      Glad to see common sense applied here.

      I have flagged before a real concern more generally about guidelines on the mental health forums.

      Charities such as Time to Change, and b-eat have very strict, but appropriate guidance on how to articulate current struggles to avoid it being triggering for another person.

      For example, talk of weights, calories, numbers of laxatives/diuretics / brand taken are banned. Likewise, with self harm and suicide discussing suicide notes, how a person is planning to harm themselves etc are also banned in the event of encouraging another vulnerable individual.

      I agree fully with this, because one person posted recently they were taking 10 laxatives daily. Someone suffering with an eating disorder is extremely competitive, so may want to equal or exceed that. 10 laxatives daily alone or fewer might kill a person. 

      I appreciate it is difficult to moderate every single post on Patient UK, so it may be worth adopting a similar practice.

      There is a way to talk about suffering, and provide advice, without the internal elements. I just thought it would be helpful to raise this.

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  • Posted

    Holly, don't skip breakfast! It's the most important meal of the day. I know it's hard to keep putting weight on when your mind tells you something different but keeping trying because when you put more weight on you may be in a better mind set. Boy can be absolute idiots sometimes and they have a brain the size of a pea wink but don't let it effect your eating because that us your medicine. You need to stay strong and fight it!

    Here if you want to talk more

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    • Posted

      I would probably add some secondary information here about how breakfast actually speeds up your metabolism, which in turn helps to stabilise your moods and keeps your weight low (but you know I might get reported for saying this...), but as Harriet says that's one of the many reasons why breakfast is so important. 

      It's the first meal my dietician tackled with me, because it's so important.

      There are some great yoghurts at the moment, which I like to mix with oats now it's a bit warmer...or of course porridge. Just make sure you get your carbs in in the morning.

      Keep regular energy throughout the day, you'll keep your moods stable and prevent binges. smile

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    • Posted

      Hi holly i hope you are doing ok. i am in the same boat as i. I wake up every day thinkig yes i will eat 2000 caloires a day then i lie to myself as i am scared that i will keep putting on weight once i have hit a healthy weight
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