Weird Intrusive thoughts

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I guess I've been prone to anxiety for a while but I've had a really bad flair up recently with some Intrusive thoughts. I had a problem with my ears, which was only temporary, but it triggered my anxiety and led to the thought that I might not be able to understand people. Now we every time I have and black conversation I'm really anxious I won't be able to understand the person and and am constantly checking that I can. I also have very high levels of anxiety, which is making me depressed. I've started getting good worried before every conversation for fear I won't understand someone. And now when I'm not having a conversation I worry about the next conversation I'll have and whether I'll be able to understand someone. This is getting me down so much and makes me feel like avoiding people. I've lost my appetite too. I just want to get back to normal and worry about the mundane things in life again :-(

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  • Posted

    Hi Karen,

    I;m afraid this is all pretty normal for anxiety. Weird thoughts and obsessions are often part of the package. I have them too and try to ignore them. The reason is that your own defense system has been triggered by nothing. It has gone off 'by mistake'. Your body has recieved a message that there is a threat to you (there isn't) and has activated the anxiety defense system flooding your body with adrenaline. This causes many uncomfortable results in your body, increased heart rate, shortness of breath, sweating etc. Next the brain searches for the threat. It can't find one so it searches further until it find something/anything no matter how small that is 'wrong' with you. It then magnifies this out of all proportion. You then fear something is dreadfully wrong with you (which there isn't) which causes your anxiety system to go into overdrive flooding you with more adrenaline which scares you even more - and so the cycle goes on.

    So remember:

    1) Anxiety can cause you no harm whatsoever. It is just very uncomfortable to experience

    2) Anxiety is not an illness, it is your own defence system. It will not kill you or make you mad (two common thoughts whilst experiencing it)

    3) The more you fight it, the worse it becomes because you are creating more anxiety and tension about being anxious which creates more adrenaline in the system.

    4) The answer is to relax into it as much as you can. Allow yourself to be anxious without worrying about it. I realise this is not an easy thing to do but just having the intention to relax and not fight it can relieve the symptoms.

    5) Allow the thoughts about not being able to communicate properly to come but try to realise that they are not true. They are only thoughts. It really doesn't matter if you have these thoughts. We all have weird thoughts now and again. Normally we just dismiss them but when in an anxiety state we pick them up and needlessly obsess about them. This is ok. It's perfectly normal to have these thoughts when anxious but they don't mean anything. 

    You are okay, nothing is wrong with you despite what you may think.You are just anxious as I am and many hundreds of thousands of people as well. It's unpleasant and uncomfortable but will do you no harm whatsoever. By writing on this forum you have shown that you can communicate very clearly. I know you are talking about your ear but it's not really a hearing problem, it's an anxiety problem and very, very common. There is nothing wrong with you. Hugs and support. Athol x

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    • Posted

      Hi Athol, thanks very much for your reply. That makes a lot of stuff clear. The problem is that the thought I have is that I can't understand people - not hear them - but be able to interpret what they say. I know from a rational point of view this seems ridiculous, but it's incredibly uncomfortable because almost every time I have a conversation with someone I'm wondering if I'll be able to understand there next words. It's pretty awful. Then today I went to my writer's group for the first time in ages and I felt like I wasn't going to be able to understand people, like it was too much for my brain. It panicked me - I know I should react differently but it was so hard and scary. That really scared me. Now I feel like I have a fuzzy tongue as well.

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  • Posted

    If this continues, Karen, go to your doctor for anti anxiety meds to take as needed. He actually may want to put you on a daily regimen for awhile. I needed that to calm enough to do ANTHING to help myself.

    You have come to the right place for support, advice, peoples experiences, and just knowing you are not alone. Dear girl, have you checked with a doctor at all? Looking forward to hearing from you.

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    • Posted

      I haven't been to a doctor yet as it is all so recent. I was a bit anxious when I had problems with my ears but this anxiety only started on Monday and I was able to function quite well. Even though I had a good day yesterday with almost no anxiety, for some reason I've had a lot of anxiety today. I have an appointment with the doctor on Tuesday. I'm a bit nervous about taking anti anxiety medication anxiety I previously took it four years ago and I had bad side effects to start with - I had rushes of adrenalin through the night and it made me feel depressed for a couple of days.

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    • Posted

      It is not uncommon to have to try more than one med to find the one that works for you. Be sure to keep us up with how things are going. Remember we are here for you...even when you just need someone  to listen.  Big teddy bear hug, Karen.
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    • Posted

      Thanks for the hug smile I will see what the doctor says tomorrow. Do you have bad memories of anxiety that affect your recovery? I feel like the one I have yesterday of feeling like my brain couldn't keep up with what was being said is one of those memories... It felt so uncomfortable. I would like to be able to get "comfortable" with this feeling but I don't know how. Also, I struggle to calm down from anxiety and I don't know what to do. I used to be able to distract myself (not sure if that's a good technique) with games on my phone but that doesn't work anymore.

      It's also depressing me that I still have this feeling.

      I received a job offer this morning (I've been trying to change jobs for ages) but I don't see how I can accept it with this anxiety.

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    • Posted

      Personally, only my opinion, is that recovery from anxiety is simply relaxing and learning to live with it, and not do battle with it. Whatever or whoever set it off is not very relevant to me. It's here and I accept that. i believe that is why I am doing as well as I am. I've been living with this  for only a few months, and learned how to help myself accept this new member of my "family" like a child I never remembered  I had. It needs understanding, firmness, training and acceptance. I'm a pretty contented person.

      The person who delivered me of this "child" was the doctor who recognized, prescribed the right med, and named it. I took it from there with the help of the extended family I found here.

      The only bad memory I have is how terrified and horrified I was of this thing in me that I thought would kill me....until I was diagnosed and prescribed for....and understood it's name.

      I hope this helps in some way, Karen. You are already alright. You just don't know it yet, love.rolleyes

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    • Posted

      Maybe to try and explain a bit better what I fear, this is actually it: http://patient.info/health/aphasia

      It's not that I think I have this, just that I fear I might get something like this.

      I wanted to push to the end of the fear to show that there is nothing there, but not sure if this is the right thing to do.

      Someone can say to me: "Well have you ever been able to not understand someone. No, so that means you're fine." But it's not that I think I can't already understand someone, just that I fear I won't be able to in the future.

      Sorry to keep banging on about this - I can deal with (most of) the general anxiety feelings and keep on going, but this thought floors me. I don't feel like having conversations with people because of this fear and was panicking last night in the restaurant that I wouldn't be able to communicate.

      Plus today I have a real brain fog so concentrating is difficult :-(

      Emis Moderator comment: I have replaced the given link with a link to the equivalent article on our site.

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    • Posted

      i read the info. I do get what you are saying. So, being no expert, I will give my opinion. It sounds like anxiety to me. All of us here have experienced the same thing as you, only differently. The ones common to us all is I am afraid that... I will get a brain tumor. I will have a heart attack, I will have a stroke, I will go crazy, I will get cancer, I will never get through this, I will lose my family, etc. etc. 

      Do you see the commonality...i am afraid that...in the future...Mine was I am afraid I am going to have a stroke. Yours is I am afraid I will not be able to understand someone... in the future.

      I see anxiety disorder, but if I were you I would see someone who's field this is...perhaps a psychiatrist. They should be able to confirm or deny  what's up very quickly. I hope you got some help from this, Karen. Hugs, Honey.

      By the way, years ago I knew someone in the movie industry that got so afraid she would not be able to remember her lines (although she never had missed a line...ever) that she quit the business. She had some real talent. She was bull headed and would not see someone about this, because way back then getting help for mental/emotional issues got you dumped...so she dumped herself first. Don't dump yourself  sweet girl. Stay with us for support, affection and encouragement while you check this out with the right doctor.

       

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    • Posted

      I've had a new symptom this afternoon that is the scariest of the lot. I feel like I can't think - this isn't just the "brain fog" that I was experiencing this morning, but like a real feeling of my mind can't concentrate on anything at all. I just had to cancel a telephone call at work because I didn't think I'd be capable of even doing it. My brain feels frozen and this is leading me to feel like it's something physical. I can't believe this has all happened in the space of a week. And some days I've felt fine.

      Normally with something like this I'd expect my heart to be going through the roof, but right about now there are no physical symptoms - well I'm dehydrated but that's it. I was panicking last night about sunstroke but I don't imagine that is what this feels like. I was going to go to Pilates after work tonight but I don't think I'll be able now. What if this symptom continues for more than short period of time? As I said, the eeriest thing is that my body has not responded to this scare at all.

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    • Posted

      Karen, the organ in the body that can not take water out of other food or liquids....is the brain!!! Your brain needs water to function!!!! The first thing I suggest before you go off on a toot is get water into your system, starting right now.

      The usual suggestion is one half your body weight in ounces of water a day. I weigh 120 pounds, so need 60 ounces a day to jwinkust maintain hydration. Walk around with a bottle or glass of water all the time. Your brain is starving for water, dear girl.

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    • Posted

      So I start citalopram and valium tonight as the thoughts have gotten bad. Basically, my friend called me to reassure me I could understand and it's sent me into overdrive, constantly analysing to see if I can understand and questioning what makes me understand. I've also got CBT scheduled for this week. Can the medication really help as I have the scary thought now even though I'm not anxious?

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