Well only 3 days to go

Your stress levels must be sky high, but you are right you must look after yourself. If you do not you will not be available to help anyone else

i know knee replacements are technically more difficult than a hip and I have not had one myself. I do have friends who have done so and my mum had one hip and both knees done. All recovered well after the initial week post op which was quite difficult, but did need painkillers longer than after a hip. One friend, a church minister, was able to take a service 10 days post op although I did the driving to the church and she sat for most of the service, only standing to serve communion. 

My mum at the age of 86 was out and about after about 3 weeks, but due to eyesight problems was no longer driving after 84. All the best.

oh laura, 

that is a lot to deal with ... I agree with Maggie that it is time to take care of Laura now ..

it must be so difficult for you and maybe you even feel guilty about it - please don't ... you are your number one priority and there is nothing selfish about that - 

who will be taking care of you? does your mother live alone? 

I bet that there are horror stories on the knee forum ... we have some of them here too ... -

I wish I have the right words to ease your mind, Laura - Unfortunately I don't, except to take care of Laura first - 

sending love, light and strength

big warm hug

renee

Oh Laura, which a testing time youbare going through!!  Life certainly is a bitch .......  I am so sorry about your  mother.   You must out yourself first in this instance........ Youbwill do no-one any good b beinf poorky yourself. The ooeration is painful afternfor a few weeks. I was out  and about after 3/4 weeks.  Could not walk long but certainly enough to go to supermarket or coffee with friends...  Plenty if good painkilkers and ice packs.  After a few weeks you will see the difference....  , my operation went well as do most of them,  we only read about bad ones, which are few and far between. Take care and  think of your painfree future. Mthinking if you. Xxxx

Morning Laura, as I've said before, we are all here for you. Your sister needs to step up & take responsibility - maybe a quiet word on your own with her. I know your dad is stressed as well but it's time to take care of yourself.

I went to visit a friend yesterday who runs a farm shop & small holding. He had a knee replacement 10 days ago & he's been up & about on his crutches sorting the cattle out for the last week! He's not one to sit about & obviously can't drive but he's very positive. There are horror stories everywhere & you probably know yourself that the majority of people only post when they have a problem or a question. I must admit, when I first joined this forum I found myself scared to death. Then someone posted a positive experience & I remember thinking 'that's what I'm going to do, post my good experiences to give others hope'. You have to remember that everyone is different & recovers at different speeds (you have often said this to people yourself).

If you accept that you are going to have some pain & mobility issues for the first few days, think positively about getting & coming back to this forum for support you will get through this. In fact this time next week it will all be over. Sending you massive hugs x

Firstly l have to apologise for the terrible spellling in that post it was the middle of the night and l obviously was just typing without looking ?? some of it is like giberish ha ha

Well as for my big sister l have had words with her twice now since last week telling her she needs to get her act together and face my mum....her reply was l can't she just drains me!!!!! I said for god sake she has cancer and not much hope how would you feel if it was you and secondly thats our mum and she has been there for us especially her as she looked aftee her kid for years picked her up from school and had dinner every night at my mum and dad and then she got a dog which my mum and dad ended up taking everyday while she was at work they have run about after my sister all there lifes. I have always said to my mum when the time comes and you need looked after l bet its ne that does it as the other 2 are selfish and can't be bothered with the hassle and thats just whats happened. Ever since my mum got the news she has a mass in her lung me and my husband went to every appointment with them and have been in at her house everyday giving her support we seem to have the ability to make her think posativly as there is a chance that the chemo and radio will work so we have been saying you need to focus on l am gonna beat this it not getting me and basically fill her with posativity. She has said l don't know what l would do without you and mark you both have got me through this. My dad is there to but he is trying his hardest with her as she has lost her appetite and crys all the time and l can see this is making my dad ill with worry and l have spoke to her own her iwn saying she has to try as my dad is going through this with you and think how he is feeling seeing you giving in to this. I daid the doctors have told you to stay posative and that will make the world of diffrence. She went into hospital for an overnight last week as thet wanted to cut a bit of the tumour of under a general anasthetic and the surgeon must have came in to see her late on in the evening and he had a foreign accent and my mum tends to hear the negative but whatever he said to her she though he said there was ni chance for her. She called me crying and l managed to calm her down saying you have picked him up wrong mum wait until you get the procedure done tom and dont talk to the dictir until we are there. The hospital is si far away from us and my dad can only drive around his town so thats how l have been there to take them everywhere. That day was the day my husband got discharged from hospital but he wanted to be there as its just like his mum the relationship they have. He was in no fit state to go he had lost over a stone was as white as a sheet and weak as water but he insisted he wanted to be there. Now would my sister or brother not be thinking like that......obviously not. But after she had phoned me the night before saying her life was over l said dont go ohoning my dad as he is at home alone and it will just worry him. Well she phoned him anyway. Next thing my dad was on the phone to me in an awful state he could not talk for crying. I have never had to deal with my dad upset as he is a man and l think l have seen him crying twice in my life one was when my gran died it was so hard l just tried to convince him my mum had got it wrong and he eventually calmed down so he has turned to me as his strenth as well.

Anyway long story short she had picked the doctor up wrong they could not do surgery but they could try treatment and he said she had a good chance if she remained posative. Phew releif so she got home my poor husband was like walking death but he was thete for her.

So thats why l am so scared ofvleaving my mum. I again last night said to my sister she has to step up and take my place whule l am ill. She said l will Laura. But she is hopeless.

I just hope my dad and her cope ok. She has bot had word about her treaement yet so next week when l am in hospital she will be able to come visit and l am thinking hopefully by the time l am through this op and had a few weeks to recover l can be there again firvher through her treatment as it will be in hospitals to far for my dad to drive so she needs me or hipefully my brother will be home to step in for a few weeks to. But she has been crying theclast few days saying l dont want tou to go. But l have to as my knee is getting worse.

I honesly have no idea how l have coped over the last 4 weeks but l have and my husband is getting stronger eveeyday so he will be there for me when l come home. Its time for me to rest and look aftee myself. Thank to you all again l can always count on you.

Love

Laura

Xx

You will do fine! Had mine done on 7/18/16. Hip was done 4/5/16...Only reason I'm using a cane is because my pt says to. I'm walking freely around the house. Elevating and icing! Keep positive! Remember....surrender yourself to the doc and do what they say and you will be good! Everyone is different. Pain is not as bad as I had imagined. My first pt, I was at 60% bend, now I'm at 94%. Exercises are crucial. When I'm sitting, I'm constantly moving my leg back and forth bending! Not drive my yet, that will come in time and is the hardest for me as I'm by myself and hate having to rely on my family and friends for rides. Keep us posted!!!! ??????????

Heavy sigh Laura. How I wish things were easier in your family. You really have your hands full and I imagine you are more than halfway to burning out.jn

It sounds as if you and your husband have been holding down the fort for a lonnnngggg time. Perhaps the TKR is coming at a good time - to allow others to step up.

I hope they are able to - even if it is not how you might manage it and even if they don't do it quite how you might.

I have sometimes felt frustrated when family members 'wimped out' as I called it. But I finally came to truly realize that we simply aren't built with a 'caregiver' gene in us. And those who aren't are also acutely aware of it and acutely aware of not measuring up ...

It cannot be an easy place, when another seems to simply know know what (and how) to do. When I had a bad fall a few years ago, my sister did come to help with my parents - and it helped to work out a chart of things needing doing. I know .... but this doesn't come instinctively to her and gave her more confidence of doing what was needed.

You have to set some parameters for yourself and your parents and siblings.

With big hugs and a 'prescription' for a quiet hour with the phone off, with your favourite music and a nice glass of your favourite beverage.

Wishing you more peace in your life.

L