Wetting the bed - what can I do?

Posted , 8 users are following.

Hiya, I'm a 28 y/o with two kids, aged 4 and 19 months. I've posted yesterday about the incontinence episodes I have been having.

One issue is that at the moment I'm wetting the bed almost every night and, although I'm trying to get an appt with my GP, I'm wondering if anyone has any tips for the meantime on how to cope with it. I'm using a mattress pad and I'm wearing a Tena Ladies Maxi Night pad to bed.

This is last night, which is typical for me over the last month or so.

- 11pm: went to the loo and went to bed, having drunk half a glass of still water about an hour before.

- 2am: set the alarm so that I could go to the loo, woke up already wet through. Changed. Set alarm for 5am.

- 4.45am: woke up needing to pee. Got to the loo in time.

- 6.15am: woke up needing to pee, couldn't hold it in till I got to the loo.

Is there a better routine I could try? Any products that might work better than what I'm using? I'm absolutely knackered from lack of sleep due to this and my two kids' various needs during the night! I just feel a bit pathetic that my 4 y/o can have a dry night but I can't!

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14 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Izzy,

    Have you spoken to bladder and bowel nurses - they may have some other options for you - check out my various campaigns and campaign friends - @SusanMorgan19 #TVTdisasteruk - Susan Morgan fb - Mesh UK fb - you will note that we have all been injured with TVT mesh - so i will say to you stear clear of gynaecologists that might recommend it - you're too young and it will ruin your life.

    There are rings that can be vaginally inserted to put pressure on your urethra to stop it leaking- easily removable.

    Have you been to neurologist - check for nerve injury?

    Or urologist to see if your bladder sphincter is working.

    You should be referred for 6 months physiotherapy under NICE Guidelines.

    There is also botox for the bladder and bladder neck injections which are not permanent.

    Pleeeeeeeese do NOT be talked into a TVT device - it can never be removed and can cause terrible injuries.


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  • Posted

    Hi Izzy

    SueTVTdisaster is right - see your GP and get a referral to a Continence Adviser, ask about physiotherapy too to strengthen your pelvic floor. Sounds like nocturia (going more than once) so pelvic floor muscle exercises will help.

    However, if this has just started I am wondering if you are on any medication? Antihistamines (Hayfever)? These are muscle relaxants.

    Watch your salt intake, especially in the evening.

    I'm sure you must be exhausted, there is an answer and you will find it, but I am sorry you are having this difficult time.


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    • Posted

      Thank you for your kind responses. I'm not taking any medication and it's not really been a sudden thing - I've had leaks and a little trouble holding on since the birth of my second child. I haven't had until recently all these night time accidents and wetting myself without any sensation - but I guess it is just playing up a bit more than usual.

      I spoke to my GP but it was a new one i don't know and he said that this is just normal after childbirth and if I keep doing Kegel exercises it will improve. Is it cheeky to go back and ask for a second opinion??

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    • Posted

      Hi Izzy,

      1st please don't panic about this and try as many alternatives to surgery as you can-

      Unfortunately childbirth-although natural- does change us.

      The loss of sensation sounds like some nerve injury - but of course i don't know what your labour involved or how long it is since your last baby - but your body can heal.

      Remove all foods and drinks that contain caffeine and bladder irritants.

      As earlier said and confirmed by Kegal - please speak to a sympathtetic incontinence team first - your GP can refer you to them - but i think you can also self refer. I did try a 'urethral tampon' which worked really well - 'FemSoft' - which the bladder and bowel team can give you a prescrition.

      I just want to to say that i feel that surgery must be your LAST resort - and try to find a sympathetic female practitioner if that's what you finally choose.



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    • Posted

      Thanks for the surgery advice - the idea of it totally freaks me out! I'm worried about the Idea of nerve damage, it sounds really serious. My last baby was 19 months ago and it was a normal birth with no complications (although quite a long labour).

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    • Posted

      Hi Izzy, The GP is right, but the trick is getting the exercises right. If you go back to your GP and ask for a referral to a womans Physiotherapist they will be able to examine you and tell you where the weakness is. They should be able to guide you in exercises that sound simple, but if the floor is weak - which your's is - you wont feel the muscles to move them. It's a catch 22 situation.

      Shout to your GP, get a referral, and do the exercises, it will work out. You have to be proactive n your recovery for this and it is your pelvic floor 'crying out' for attention.

      Your alternatives?

      Ignore - you could/will probably get a prolpase, it will not get better on its own, you have to be proactive in your recover here.

      Medications - they wont strengthen a weak pelvic floor, and the side effects can sometimes be worse than any benefits.

      Surgery - listening to your symptoms, this is not a surgical matter, but if you down the surgery routs you will be backto square 1 with a weak pelvic floor and the prolems associated with a pelvic floor surgery.

      The Physio assessment can tell what damage you had during the births of your children, but you also have to manage your weight, correct your posture, do pelvic floor exercises, take Vitamion D, and tackle constipation if you  have it.

      You'll be an expert at the end of this - but you'll also be physically and mentally stronger!

      Good Luck!


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  • Posted

    Hi Izzy....i'm a lot older than you (50) but i was diagnosed with an overactive bladder and urge incontinence 3/4years ago. It's a nightmare!!

    I firstly saw my GP who put me on various tablets to dry everything up, but all they did was dry my mouth up. Not nice.

    I was then refered to the hospital where i underwent a whole batch of tests and finally got my diagnosis. I was given botox into my bladder which wasn't too bad but only properly worked for about 5 months. I had this twice in 18 months. I wasn't able to have any more so i was refered to another hospital. After more flow tests they offered me accupuncture. I underwent a course of 6 in 6 consecutive weeks. I wouldn't say it's stopped it completely but it's deffinetley better. Since then i've had a top up and am due another tomorrow.

    I personally don't bother with incontinence stuff available but use 2 Always Night time pads length ways to protect myself. It does get quite pricey but i'd rather that than a puddle. I'm padded up like this 24/7. I've got used to having to do that but i'll never get used to always needing the loo. To complicate matters even more i'm on water tablets for high blood pressure!! Lol. Never a dull moment!!

    As i've just lost 3 stone i've been told to cut them down so hopefully they'll stop totally soon.

    I wouldn't wake yourself up. I would pad myself up n hopefully your body will wake you up to use the loo (mine does).

    Thats just my preference. You've got to do whatever suits you.

    Good luck with getting it all sorted x x

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    • Posted

      Thank you - I agree that waking up doesn't work. I read this on the NHS site, but it doesn't seem to make a difference for me. Most of the time I do wake up needing to go, but then I often don't get to the loo in time. A few times a week I'll wake up not having felt anything and I'll be wet through. Today on the way home from work I had a little snooze on the train and when I woke up I realised my trousers and the seat were soaked through. This was in spite of wearing two pads. Some poor person probably sat on the seat before realising too - I felt sooo bad!

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    • Posted

      Oh Izzy thats awful.?

      My worst moment came when i was shopping. I was walking round Tescos veg section basically weeing myself...i couldn't get to the loo quick enough. I wanted to cry. I then decided enough was enough. I was fed up with being fobbed off with tablets. I needed more...Know one should have to put up with what most of us put up with.

      Pad yourself up with whatever you feel is right for you. Hold your head up high n wear long tops!! 😉 lol (cover your bum area!!)

      (Sorry Izzy i'm not making light of our situation but sometimes you've gotta laugh about it if not you'd cry)

      Good luck x x

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    • Posted

      Oh, how awful! So sorry for you :-( Good tip about the long tops, I will bear that in mind. 

      Do you mind me asking, did you ever find that you just wet yourself without even feeling an urge? This happened to me twice - once when I tried to pick up three bags of supermarket shopping at once and once when DD bounced on top of me (she is a fairly hefty four year old, mind you!). It wasn't just like a little leak, it was like I started properly weeing but I didn't feel any urge beforehand and I couldn't stop it coming out once it had started. I don't know if that makes any sense at all! The GP I spoke to said it's definitely stress incontinence and nothing to worry about, but it seems weird to me.

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    • Posted

      Hi Izzy....oh yes well sort of!!

      I get a little teeny warning n then there's no stopping it. Thats why i'm padded up 24/7. The incident i said about was a prime example. I just about know n then there's no stopping. Mine is urge incontinency. I've never had children so my pelvic floor should be brilliant!!

      I would deffinatley go back to your doctor. It's a horrible embarrassing problem that needs sorting. I can only comment on what i've had but i've found that the botox n acupuncture worked for me.

      Hope you get sorted Izzy x x

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  • Posted

    Dear Izzy,

    What an absolute nightmare for you. I'm a 64 year old man who has suffered from both urinary incontinence and bowel problems due to ulcerative colitis, so can, at least to some extent, sympathise with you as you try to cope with, what is in anyone's book, a horrible and distressing condition.

    I'm sorry that I am unable to offer you any advice from my own personal expereince, but I do send you my very best wishes for a successful outcome.

    Sincerely and with kindest regards,

    Peter A

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  • Posted

    I'm not a Brit ... or female, but I can related. I'm 35, father of 2 (4 years, and 7 months), and I've been wetting the bed for the last 5 years. I've had an odd combination of medical conditions, and resultant medications that have turned a minor problem into a consistent one.

    I tried a lot of things you mentioned (limiting beverages, setting alarms, etc.), but none of it helped. Now I keep a waterproof mattress cover on the bed, wear adult diapers to sleep, and live like a normal adult otherwise. I don't watch what I drink, I don't set alarms, and I don't wake up in a wet bed. I just drop the diaper in the trash when I get up, and live normally otherwise.

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  • Posted

    Try A Tape up Diaper izzy for bed time it really works for me or a maximum asorbancy pull up.. They work amazing for me as a guy.. Just don't get anything unisex because they aren't as protective try wearing something made for oknly woman.. Prevail For Woman Might work wo need a for you or Depend real fit for woman

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