What a disaster the last few months have been

Posted , 5 users are following.

So, recovery from a second ankle surgery in less than a year has gone poorly.

After nearly dying twice after surgery, and not being able to control my pain, I wound up calling my psychiatrist one Wednesday morning, rambling on that I was going to take all my pills.

About 6 hours later, she tried to call me back but couldn't reach me as I was already on the phone.

My soon to be ex went outside to put the garbage to the road when the paramedics showed up. He told them we hadn't called them.

I sat on the porch with them, and the police when they showed up. I was extremely rapid cycling, crying one minute, then laughing the next.

They asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital, and I responded that I might as well.

When I got there, I was taken almost immediately to the emergency psychiatric unit where I was assessed for physical well was given that I'd just had surgery a week prior.

I then spoke to the on call psychiatrist, he told me he didn't feel comfortable letting me go home, and put me in on a 72 hour hold, which wound up lasting 2 weeks.

I got up there and slept through the night, and through most of the day on Thursday.

Thursday evening I'd ventured out of my room to the lounge, in my crutches. I sat and watched a movie, but when I tried to go back to my room, I couldn't get there.

I was suffering from sudden chest pain. They got me back to my room, called the on-call doctors who ran a bunch of tests and found nothing.

I stayed in my room while I was there, had my meals in bed, just kept to myself.

By the first Saturday morning, I was ill. I was freezing to death, wearing a sweater and 2 blankets, still freezing, but sweating at the same time.

I was in and out of the bathroom, food going right through me. I thought I'd picked up a bug.

Monday morning arrived, the staff psychiatrist came in, and after listening to my symptoms, told me I was in withdrawal from my pain meds.

Withdrawal went on for a week, I lost about 15lbs in that time. I vowed never to go through withdrawal again.

The week before I went home, I had to go home on a pass to get my scooter for my post op appointment the day after.

That was a miserable visit, my husband becoming cold, callous and verbally abusive to me. He had me in tears and even threw my stuff on the lawn knowing I couldn't get it.

I was never so happy to go back to the inpatient ward, I broke down crying when I got back, told the nurse what had happened.

I left the hospital 2 weeks after arriving, feeling a little better mentally, but knowing I had to go home to more abuse.

During my recovery, and for the rest of my life, I will be getting ketamine infusions for the pain in my ankle.

The infusions have a welcome side effect of stabilizing my mood for about a month.

I was stable until last week. Now I'm extremely emotional, been crying off and on since last Friday. Last Friday marked the 1 year anniversary of my first surgery, the one that ruined my life.

Anyways, my mood has been up and down, but relief is possibly in sight. I will be moving out as the divorce will be final very soon.

I have a new boyfriend in my life, he understands bipolar, so I know he's ok with me having it. I hope he's the one.

My next ketamine infusion is on the 13th, and I'm looking forward to the stability I will have.

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    sorry to hear that you have had such a rotten time of it .but it also seems that although unaware at the time you made the right discing in getting help and this has had some very good positives for you as well as bad but think that you are looking forward is a great step .

    go girl.

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  • Posted

    Hi Kristina

    Well it sounds like you have had a lot to deal with over the last couple of months.

    Firstly when bad things happen to us we are drained of all the energy we have.  By the sounds of it your ex was not a very supportive person in your life and was even subjecting to you to mental torture.  I am glad that you are now in a better place.

    Don't rush in to a new relationship hoping they are the one.  You have to focus on your own recovery and unless you are in a position where you understand your problems and are feeling happier then jumping into a new relationship may not always be a good thing especially when you are rather vulnerable.

    Keep talking and getting the help that you need.  Keep us updated and good luck

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    • Posted

      No my ex was never supportive, didn't want to help me with anything when I needed it. I'm still trying to get out of the house and away from him.

      As for this new guy, we have known each other since June, have gone out 3 times, including a day trip, so we've gotten to know each other quite well.

      I will be much better soon.

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    • Posted

      I am one step closer to freedom.

      Yesterday I went and looked at a room and am just waiting for a letter from the landlady so I can get money for her, and then I can move on the 2nd.

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