What are my next steps to find if it's lymphoma or not?

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I'm 22 and always had anxiety about lymphoma and health in general. When I was 16 I was convinced i have lymphoma due to a "scarred submandibular gland" in which ultrasound results says it's normal sized and I moved on with life smile Fast forward to 6 years later, now I found a lymph node over the sternocleidomastoid muscle about two months ago. It's not visible but when you touch you can feel it under your fingers. I lost a week of sleep over it so I decided to see a ENT. She said it felt like a slight thyroid nodule since it's right side of the thryoid over the neck muscle. She didn't seem too conceded but sent me for an untlrasound of the neck and thyroid area. Same day I went to get that done and results "seemed normal" ... I felt relived. A week later after that I started getting panic attacks uncontrollably. Sweating, hot flashes, chills, muscle weakness, nausea, trembling, and unresponsive during conversation. The panic attacks would last for about an hour and then come back 20 minutes later all day long, everyday. During my panic attack days I would run to urgent care and tell them my symptoms. They ran some bloodwork and took my vitals. Everything is normal and was diagnosed with "anxiety reaction". The doctor checked my "lump" and said that's my muscle and to not worry. I was relieved!! But that same day in the evening I had another panic attack and some vomiting. These symptoms lasted 10 days straight... I finally decided to see a psychiatrist and they diagnosed me with GAD, health anxiety and panic disorder. They prescibred me 10mg of lexapro but have not taken any. I was still worried about my symptoms and my neck, and on top of this I was losing weight for no reason. So I found one of the top internist in my area by doing some research. She performed bloodwork and felt all around my body. She said there is nothing to worry about and that I'm fine! Again, I was relieved!! Two weeks later, I couldn't help but see her again to discuss my bloodwork because although they're all in normal range I was stressing about my WBC that is 10. At the urgent care which was 3 weeks prior to this visit my WBC was 7 so the increase worried me. Does anyone know what can cause an increase besides infection?? The doctor told me our blood isn't at the same level everyday. She told me it fluctuates ... it's in normal range and to not worry. She said my anxiety is out of control and to get on the lexapro that was given to me and want some to follow up in two weeks. I wonder why she wants to follow up?? That scares me. So I go home but still feel depressed and scared... On top of this a new symptom comes up .. I've been very very itchy all over my body but no rash. This has been going on for a couple weeks now. Im not allergic to anything! I don't have eczema or anything like that! I know itching all over with no rash is a symptom of lymphoma too. I am convinced I have it and that doctors are missing the diagnoses.

What are my next steps into ruling this out?

Should I take myself to the hospital?

I still have the lumpy sternocleidomastoid muscle in my neck and I'm constantly itching everywhere. I'm young and I don't want it to be too late if there is anything serious.

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    I just got married and in the process of moving with my husband. We also want to try for a baby this year. I just can't let this happen now and then it'll be too late for treatment. I don't want my husband to be left alone and suffer :'( I cry so much everyday about leaving him and my family behind. I don't want them to suffer because I love them so much and they love me unconditionally:'(

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  • Posted

    Hi Monii

    What would it take to convince you that you don't have Lymphoma?

    It seems to me that you have done the right thing in seeking medical opinion

    and relevant blood tests and you have been relieved for a while on one occasion but then you dismissed the reassurance you had been given and somehow thought yourself back into terrible fears again. You must start trusting docs who are very experienced at feeling lymph nodes and detecting problems. Your blood tests have been ok and yet you become anxious again because of normal fluctuations.

    I hope you have people around you who will help and support you, and I think you should take the prescribed Lexapro to help with your terrible anxiety and sadness.

    I am not an expert of course but have a nursing background and have trained in and practice cognitive behavioural therapy (cbt). It seem you have had lots of reassurance from medics but your thinking processes are rejecting what they say. So there may be a good chance that CBT would really help you exchange those negative thoughts for positive thoughts and happier feelings.

    I wish you well Monii.

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your reply. I just teared up with reassuring myself that my anxiety is real and my behavior is extreme. I need to remind myself that my behavior is very abnormal at this point. But I also I think because the itching started and has been non-stop all over my body which caused me to be convinced I have it... but also idk if this is a one psychosomatic symptom as well. The issue is I google everything and then I read a lot on cancer forums. The stories on there remind me of my symptoms.
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  • Posted

    Monii

    Take the Lexapro...if you leave it in the bottle, only the bottle will feel better..

    Any the doc who wants to see you again in two weeks...she wants to see you to be sure you took the Lexapro and wants to here if you are feeling improved...

    ,

    Until you take the Lexapro, you will continue chasing yourself in circles.

    Please repost after you begin the Lexapro...because I want you to tell me how it makes you feel

    hugs

    judith

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    • Posted

      The main reason why I haven't taken the lexapro is because my husband and I are TTC. So I am not sure if it'll harm the fetus as early as conceiving

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  • Posted

    Hi Monii,

    No, Lexapro and pregnancy are nit to be mixed...

    Ask you physician for a low dose baby safe antidepressant .

    another thought, discuss with your obgyn if post partum depression should be addressed.

    I sure hope you post that you have a nice cubby baby all healthy...that mom and baby are doing great..

    Relax, you have a lot on your plate.

    kind regards

    judith

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  • Posted

    Hi monii i am going through pretty much the same thing thinking myself into it, i havnt been told i have anxiety but am seeing a psychologist anyways. A symptom of anxiety is itchy skin without a rash, I understand how hard it is when all anxiety symptoms are symptoms of other illnesses and you dont know what is and what isnt anxiety at the time. I have just had an ultrasound on my glands and waiting results

    Hope your feeling better though x

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