what comes with depression?

Posted , 2 users are following.

Hi,my first day on patient uk.i was told by my GP i had mild depression many years ago,is there such a thing as mild? i found myself not being truly honest in how i feel,probably due to the fact i work in mental health myself,so kinda felt like i was a failure.how can i be responsible for other poorly people when i cant look after myself,hence currently off sick,i could quite easily just lay on my couch with the curtains closed n shut myself off from the world,i try so hard to feel normal enjoy things in life but seems im just kidding myself because im so low,no energy no intrest in anything or anyone,but today after joining here feel slightly better knowing im not alone in how i feel,medication has helped in past but i dont really want to depend on them all my life.im married 11 yrs hes great but most days i just wish hed leave,like i should be punished like he desrves better.do things ever get better? cry

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  • Posted

    Hi Mica I have suffered depression for many years if I remember in the early days the feelings were manageable but eventually I had to see my doctor it was really hard to be honest with how bad I was feeling I had it all ready in my head but when I got there I couldn't stop crying to tell him anything he started me off on very mild antidepressants and it got me through the tough time I was having and I came off the medication, but unfortunately a few years later I started to feel very low again this time I did not leave it to get out of control but went to my doctors and went back on antidepressants again and this has been a pattern of my life for over twenty years i have come to realise that this is something that is not going to go away by itself so medication works for me I wouldn't have been able to hold down any job without them, I think working in the mental health section must be a hard line of work because you are seeing people go through this all he time please don't feel a failure because your not you are only human and sometimes in life you need a little support to get you through these low periods if you have to be on medication for a while what's the shame if you were diagnosed an illness and needed medication you would take it without thinking and depression is an illness same as any other it is life threatening because of the suicidal thoughts but depression doesn't feel a valid illness you feel like you should be able to shrug it off but you can't it doesn't go away it just makes you cut yourself off from everyone and push everyone away who cares about you but you need to keep people close and remember you are worthy of them your husband is your best friend let him in on your feelings and take the support he offers it will get better your not alone in these feelings remember we all need a little help through life we are only human and try to take care of yourself we seem to forget that in looking after others.

    Be kinder to yourself

    Sue x

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  • Posted

    Your job is no help because of all the people you see with problems. I've seen more than I wish in those circumstances and reckon it is easy to become depressed just by thinking about them.

    You should benefit from getting out in the fresh air and exercising, long fast walks (build up bit by bit with daily targets) and any other exercise you can manage. If your man goes to a gym then go with him. Tell him how you feel and what you want to do.

    You may need some meds if nothing changes so have a chat with your GP.

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  • Posted

    Hi sue thank you firstly for taking the time to respond,i came off medication a long time ago thinking i could beat this,obviously not,ive been off work 4 wks now after years of torment n bullying,i finally broke down ,i chose to tell the people how they made me feel,that didnt go down well as now hit with reprocussions,maybe mental health is the wrong kind of job i dont know,i enjoy looking after people n making people smile but sadly allways feel sad inside,my hubby tells me im paranoid too does this come with the depression ive no idea,i just have no energy no self worth and feel very lonely at times,i have people who say there friends but where are they wen the going gets tough,im a good person and will do anything for anyone but allways feel like people dont like me like there judging me,ive told my gp how i feel he gave me a script for anti depressents but just so scared im gna become reliant on them all my life ,i have started having panic attacks too i know im not alone in this and im sorry if its sound drab but allways feel better for talking,so massive thanks sue for ur response and i hope u have a good day x

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  • Posted

    Hi jaguar,many thanks for ur response too,maybe ur right my job is no help,but ive worked there 15 yrs and gave it my heart n soul,not easy to change i guess,i do sometime go for walks just not often enough,on a good day il clean everywhere almost manic and on a bad day i wont even get dressed.i intend to resstart my medication once ive seen gp again .hope ur ok too .
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  • Posted

    Hi mica just thinking about you and wondering how your doing today. Are you having trouble in work re the bullying or was that some time ago only as I have some problems in that area to, I was in a job I loved I was a manager in a women's charity but unfortunately there was little evidence of any charity in or out of work, my manager was a bully and was used to getting her own way but my character would not allow her to bully me so she started a campaign against me and eventually it started getting to me no matter how hard I tried I had no support with anything everything I said she disagreed with and she always tried to make me feel inadequate I got to the point where I couldn't go in and went to the doctors who signed me off for a month he knew what was happening to me and said I needed a complete break from this job I then had a breakdown and was in a terrible state for three months, couldn't get up in the morning and stayed in bed all day I just couldn't face anyone,work policy was sick oay for 10 days only so I went on ssp for six months I tried to go back but she wouldn't

    have me back until doctor confirmed I was well enough that took another two months when I did go back nothing had changed and I had to leave and never had the confidence to look for another job in management again there are two many people in senior management that are bully's and treat staff dreadfully and get away with it I have spent the last four years angry with myself for allowing her to treat me so bad but am coming to terms with it now. I was a really caring manager and that is something I can be proud of unfortunately she is still employed in that charity and hasn't changed at all. Wow feel like I have got a lot off my chest didn't realise it still effects me

    Kind regards sue

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  • Posted

    Hello sue,thanks for sharing that,i am currently off sick mainly to be being treated unfairly n yes i feel bullied..strong word to use but if u feel it its happening in my eyes.im a a supervisor too part of managment team.its disgusting how people are allowed to treat humans like this,especially in charity,caring enviroments.i feel some days im at breaking point and other days i think what goes around will come back n bite these peoples butts,(THAT MAKES ME SMILE) .i never want to go back to this place ive spenty half my life but why the hell should i let bullies push me away from something i love,being treated this way does have a huge impact on ur wellbeing mentally ,physically.may i say sue u seem like a lovely caring lady and its there loss not urs,hopefully ul regain that confidence and show the world wot ur made of.
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