1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Alcohol Consumption

What constitutes alcoholism?

Posted , 31 users are following.

bellaseb
bellaseb

Hello

I'm not sure if anyone can answer this, but since I feel it may be an issue, I'm probably in the right place to ask...

I'm currently on Sertraline (100mg) for anxiety, as well as various other meds including sleeping pills (zopiclone 7.5mg), but my drinking habits are the same as they have ever been, without any reaction to my meds (been on them for about 5 months). I'm also now seeing a counsellor who is telling me that my drinking habit is "dangerous" and that if I carry on the way I'm going, I will "most likely be a fully-fledged alcoholic" by the time I'm in my fifties (I'm 32 now).

To paint the picture, I usually drink at least 5 nights out of 7; sometimes only one glass of red wine, but often (and mainly at weekends) as much as 2-3 bottles of wine along with numerous glasses of whisky or brandy to follow. I admit that I have taken occasional days off work because I've been hungover, but only because my work is flexible, so I make sure I do my contracted hours each week, regardless of how I might be feeling. If I know I absolutely have to go to work the following day, I won't mess around with booze. And if I ever do - it's my own fault if I feel bad at work.

The main thing is that I drink because I enjoy it, not because I NEED to. I rarely drink alone (although I happily can and occasionally do), but the reason I drink to the extent that I do is because of my tolerance level, which has always been very high. I'm not an aggressive, tearful, unbalanced or nasty drunk. I tend to stay the same, just a little more animated. I am never, ever sick and I never lose control.

My counsellor thinks I am in danger of becoming alcohol dependent, but to me drinking has always been my family culture. I would never dream of drinking in the morning - the thought of that is horrific (apart from on Christmas Day), but anything past midday has always been acceptable in my family (of course NOT on a work day).

Am I right to be defending myself and telling my counsellor that this is normal for me and that I am in control of it? Or am I severely in denial? I'm certainly not naïve enough to think this is good for my health (and that's something I do need to work on, since I eat very healthily), but I'm not prepared to admit that I am "verging on alcoholism".

If anyone has any comments, advice or observations, I would be very grateful indeed.

Bella

3 likes, 75 replies

75 Replies

Prev Next
  • al5aph49
    al5aph49 bellaseb

    Posted

    hi bella. i am a alcoholic in recovery. from what you have said you seem to be in grave danger of harming your health, you say you are in control of your drinking please think now before it is to late, i was convinced i was in control of my drinking but it put me in hospital 3 times, please i beg you go out and get and get help and listen to your councilour, i had a near death experiance it got that bad,i have since not touched any alcohol,you say you are not aggressivejust a bit animated does that mean you are loud and full of high spirits,if so is that how you normaly are,i do not know what els to say,but stay in control and take care i wish you all the luck in the world   
    • bellaseb
      bellaseb al5aph49

      Posted

      Hi al5aph49. Thanks for your reply. I am definitely going to take on board what my counsellor has said to me - it has already made me feel a little horrified and more conscious of how much I'm drinking. For example, tonight I would absolutely love a whisky or a glass of wine, but instead I'm sticking to water. It's difficult, but I'm determined to try not to drink during the week and then cut down at weekends.

      Congratulations on your recovery, and I wish you all the best continuing with it.

      Bella

    • hope4cure
      hope4cure bellaseb

      Posted

      U know the drill..

      so has that helped u in the past cutting down?

  • emma84640
    emma84640 bellaseb

    Posted

    Hi all, I started drinking when I was 17 and it has become progressively worse. At first I thought it would get better in that I was young and would become more sensible. But now in am 32 and it is getting worse. I am just about holding my life together but by a thread. Its like no matter what happens I just need one more drink.

    The incidents are countless. Sleeping with people I don't know, wetting myself, being completely out of it on holiday in Spain when out on my own, upsetting family and friends... Yet no matter how bad it gets I can't stop. I get so down and have a drink to make myself feel better. It feels like a black hole with no way out. Like no point in carrying on coz im making such a mess of things sad

    It would be lovely to meet like minded people who understand when I say I feel the need to drink to the point I drop.

    Em x

    • christian1966
      christian1966 emma84640

      Posted

      Emma keep it together ;-). I am 48 and have similar experiences. It seems like an everlasting circle...I am pissed off so I drink then I drink cos I am pissed off.

      Believe me I do understand the need to drink till I drop xx

    • emma84640
      emma84640 christian1966

      Posted

      Hi Christian, it sucks doesn't it. And you can never see it getting better. You see everyone around you with their perfect lives and then there is you, someone who can't stop getting drunk, no matter how bad it gets or who you hurt. The "incidents" are too numerous to count and no matter how bad they are or how shit they make me feel you carry on and on. It doesn't take much for me to lose consciousness. I tend to drink so fast that by the time I have got to the end of a bottle of wine I feel fine and so I start on the next. Then its all over.

      I i live alone but I have 2 beautiful small dogs who end up suffering the brunt of my drinking. One Christmas I had a drunken row with my mom when staying at hers and when she went off to bed I carried on drinking. I got so drunk I locked one of my dogs outside I the garden by accident. He was out there so long he must have eaten something bad for him and the next day he became really ill and I had to spend a fortune at the vets. It breaks my heart what I am doing to them. And as you say, I feel so bad guilty and down I then go and get obliterated again. I well and truly hate myself for what and who I have become. But I know it is all down to me to change it before it is all too late xx

    • bellaseb
      bellaseb emma84640

      Posted

      I really feel for you Emma, because I understand what it's like not to be able to stop. Everyone else seems to have a control on it, whereas I carry on until it's either run out or I am so drunk I have to go to bed.

      Fortunately I am never physically ill, I just wake up the next morning with a banging head & I'm then tired for two days (at least). Have you spoken to your doctor about it, or gone anywhere else for professional advice? It may or may not help, but maybe it's something to consider? It's definitely made me a bit more aware of what I might be doing to myself.

      Bella x

    • emma84640
      emma84640 bellaseb

      Posted

      Hi Bella,

      Everyone I know can have a casual drink and only have one or two.  I have one and then I get the taste for it and start drinking even faster.  As you say, I then drink either til it runs out or til I drop.  Fingers crossed the shops are closed and I can't drunkenly go out and get more.  Unfortunately it is very rare that I know that I am going to bed, my memory blanks out so easily sad  Then the next day I feel ashamed and guilty and depressed and then because I feel so crap and maybe drink some more.  It temporarily blots it out.  But I know the low ebb will some sooner or later.

      I have spoken with my various doctors openly about this for years, each time saying I had plans to cut down etc.  For a day or two each time I would do well and feel good and then slip back into thinking, oh Ill buy a bottle of wine and try to have just one glass.  Keep thinking over and over that I didn't have to neck the whole bottle in one go.  Then make the mistake of buying 2 bottles if on offer.  As you can imagine, I fail each time.  I have been to an AA meeting which was great but everyone there was already established as having gone sober.  The other issue is that I dont drive so it was hard to get to other meetings.  I also am very busy with my new job and have 2 small dogs that I rush home to let out as soon as I finish at work.  I am also studying which doesnt help time wise if that makes sense.  Obviously my drinking is f***ing all that up too sad

      I have seen alcohol counsellors a while back and chatting for hours about why I have this problem and all the obvious solutions only made me want to go out and drink :S  I could sit there and give all the obvious answers and the rules that I should stick to, like alternate with a soft drink and don't drink in the week.  But long story short, I wouldnt be in this situation if I could stick by the sensible rules etc.  I clearly love the taste and the release alcohol temporarily gives.  And I know that there is most likely no way to break that association other than to stop all together.  See, I can give the sensible answer etc but can't seem to follow it lol.

      PS. I went for blood tests with the Dr and got stressed about what I was doing to myself and subsequently had a further drink.  Apparently your kidneys and liver have to be largely defunct for the test to me back negative.  So even though mine came back fine it definitely doesnt mean that inside is all fine too sad

      My hangovers sound similar to yours.  The 2 day tiredness and occasionally really bad headaches but not to the point that I have to have a drink in the morning to function enough to go to work.  So I guess at least I am not there yet .....

      Thank you so much for your reply x x

    • hope4cure
      hope4cure christian1966

      Posted

      Negative behaviors drinking when UR posses off really is the grown up way to handle UR life.

       

    • andy89516
      andy89516 emma84640

      Posted

      hi emma

      my name andy ive been reading all you talk bout and i no where you coming from ive been drinking heavey since i was 20 and still am at 47 i just cant stop, lost two famliys ,jobs,drink driving, bad liver,been to doctors,AA meetings,when left aa meeting use to go with the people who was in the aa meeting, taken women home didnt even no who they was,you name it ive done it,row with my mum last week,and felt really bad next day,i told her sorry she was my best friend, she turnt round and said my best friend is in the fridge and in the glass in front of me what hurt,but true 😞 andy

    • Salada1
      Salada1 emma84640

      Posted

      Since I grew up with me dad drinking everyday fr

      From7pm till 11pm...I felt the worst I've done drunk was leave the oven on, burn a pot of stew, burn a candle down to mark a coffee table with a black spot,and lock me self out of the house on a cold not freezing night...thank god...oh fall

  • bellaseb
    bellaseb

    Posted

    How is everyone here getting on?

    I'm still as hopless as always with this issue sad

    • hope4cure
      hope4cure bellaseb

      Posted

      U don't need to be if u choose a way to stop and change UR destructive behaviors.
    • bellaseb
      bellaseb hope4cure

      Posted

      Hi hope4cure

      I appreciate what you say. I think the problem with me is that, unlike drugs, alcohol is socially acceptable, therefore if I had an addiction to drugs (which I have had in the past - cocaine - and am now completely clear of), it would be easier to just abstain because you don't go out for lunch and see people snorting lines of coke at the next table. Neither can you buy cocaine readily everywhere.

      Alcohol is an entirely separate issue altogether. I don't want to quit for good - not only would I hate that, but it would also be nigh-impossible considering my remaining family are real boozers.

      I continue to try my best. I think I have managed to cut down a bit, and I'm still working on it. It's a work in progress.

      x

       

    • Reggie04
      Reggie04 hope4cure

      Posted

      I admire your strength to help others when your heart must feel so heavy with the worry of your son. I wanted to say a BIG THANKYOU for your reply to me almost 2 months ago. You touched my heart , and I pray that your son will come through this and pray that your light will shine always as good folk are angels in disguise
Back to top
Prev Next

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.