What could I be suffering from? ocd, hyperawareness
Posted , 3 users are following.
hey everyone i just don't know what is wrong with me.
I noticing something about me that is seemingly getting worse. It’s like I can feel myself getting worse. I have been suffering from avpd , agoraphobia, social anxiety for the past eight years. Characterized where I am hyper-vigilant and hypersensitive to criticism of being negatively evaluated by others. I am always very paranoid about how the way I appear and how I do things. But I noticed now it seems to be turning into something more. To the point where I have a hard time to get up and move to a specific area of a house or room. It’s very debilitating and exhausting. It is very embarrassing because one time someone asked me to come in the living room to be around people and then after she left I was afraid to say I didn’t want to go so when she came back to check on me I just stood there and just walked to the doorway. It was a very bizarre situation that made her look at me funny and negatively said something afterwards. Because people don’t understand at all, or can fathom how someone could act the way I do. I am wondering if this is an ocd, because of the constant overthinking over simple things. Even if I would be just alone in my house I feel very aware of myself that I can’t do things naturally and just be relaxed. Because I’m constantly thinking about awkward situations that happened in the past, I feel like I am reliving that moment over and over again. To the point where I will just froze in fear. Im not sure if this is a form of ocd or ptsd but it seems to be something more. I need help on what you think.
1 like, 2 replies
jan34534 AnnaD
Posted
very sorry you are going through this. I’m sure it must be very scary for you. There are most likely several possibilities of what could be happening.
The best thing you could do is to speak with your doctor first to get a complete physical check up. After that, you or your doctor could refer you to speak with a therapist to try and get to the bottom of what’s going on. Bring somebody with you so you don’t have to go alone.
Sounds like you need support right now because you wouldn’t be able to figure it all out on your own. You may even be able to do virtual appointments with a counselor so that it wouldn’t have to go anywhere. Those work great!
but the only way you’re going to get some answers and some help is to take the first step.
You need to get a diagnosis so that a plan can be set in place so that you start to feel better again. Nobody on this site can do that for you unfortunately. there is so much help out there and there are so many people that would be more than happy to help you feel whole again! Take care of yourself! ❤
ChrisLancs83 AnnaD
Edited
I have noticed that since I lost control of my panic disorder my self esteem has dropped to an old time low, when you are at this point, I think that any negative comment or criticism is more likely to cause a great deal more upset.
The most important thing to do is sit down with the people close to you and explain what is wrong with you and offer them some information on your illness. Once you have done this, if someone invites you to participate in something that you are really uncomfortable doing, you can just say "I am not feeling too well at the moment" and they will understand what you are trying to say and the situation is avoided (although its not really considered helpful giving your self more opportunities to avoid things). This is extremely important when it comes to family members and people you live with.
Don't be ashamed of telling people you are ill.
This sounds more to do with your agoraphobia than anything else. Some one is asking you to step outside your "comfort bubble" as I call it.