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What have others done to explain their condition to their family & get & receive help?

Posted , 5 users are following.

thisolegirl
thisolegirl

My significant other has either gone nuts or is trying to kill me. 2yrs ago when I had bilateral TKR I literally sent him away & went to a nursing home for recovery. I'm about to have bilateral CMC joint surgery & I can't take anymore.

I've had a brutal winter w/my other affected joints & my hands are very painful & useless. I've told him what I need, what I can do & how I can best do it & it's like talking to a brick wall.

Have others had this problem & what did they do about it?

0 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • constance.de
    constance.de thisolegirl

    Posted

    My first reaction was “ditch the husband” but I thought better of it (reluctantly)😏  and wondered if there was anywhere where one could hire one of those “heavy suits” sometimes worn by trainee doctors and nurses.  Someone ought to start a hire firm!!

    Seriously though, perhaps you could ask your doctor to explain to him just what pain/anxiety you are going through.

    I’m sure we all feel for you.  Those of us who have understanding husbands/families are certainly blessed.

    💐💐💐

    • thisolegirl
      thisolegirl constance.de

      Posted

      Ditching him is my 1st thought too! I'm too messed up to bury him in the backyardsmile

      The whole thing really bothers me because deep down I know this stress is gonna shorten my life. It's good to know that others can relate. No one really realizes how bad the bad times can be when we made those vows.

  • themoon66
    themoon66 thisolegirl

    Posted

    I don't know how to make it sink in really.  I have the same sort of issue, but at least he isn't nasty to me, but just acts disappointed that I'm not getting better and therefore, if I'm not getting better, it must be because I'm not complying with treatment, not doing physio properly or something.  It MUST be my fault.  Example:  He asks - are going to Park Run tomorrow?  Me: No.  Him: Why, is your leg STILL bad??  Me: Yes, and its arthritis, its only going to get worse.  Him:  I don't understand why you don't just go see a physio. 

    • thisolegirl
      thisolegirl themoon66

      Posted

      We would laugh ourselves silly if the situation didn't hurt so bad. Your man is the typical "fixer". He wants to fix it. All we want is to be comfortable & keep as much function as possible for as long as possible. Those of us who have endured PT know that those folks truly believe there is an excercise to fix anything. I hate PT with a bloody passion but I also know it's use it or lose it so I do it. I used to hate those people who were always fidgeting with their bodies & now I am one. I'll do reps for my hands, neck & shoulders everychance I get. There are alot of other things I'd rather spend my time & attention on rather than myself.

  • ralph83510
    ralph83510 thisolegirl

    Posted

    I’m sorry you’re going through that. It always seems to be difficult for the sig others that are with someone with medical conditions they don’t understand. I just had the thumb surgery for osteoarthritis a couple months ago. I had no idea I had OA, but it made sense for some of the other issues I have. I am wondering if someone can answer this, and I am not trying to hi jack your post; After the thumb issues, what’s next? What parts of the body will give the biggest problems and how soon? My doc felt very evasive to me when I tried to ask that. Thanks for any tips 
    • thisolegirl
      thisolegirl ralph83510

      Posted

      You're fine. This OA nightmare is different for everybody. I read over the weekend that the next joint needs replaced or repaired an average of 2 yrs after the 1st. I had bilatral TKR 2 yrs ago & getting ready for the thumb arthroplasty. Really depressed me. Figure the L hip is next cuz it's killing me.

      I didn't know I had OA, just knew I was hurting bad. The hand thing crept up on me. Didn't even realize my hand was deformed until my hand therapist pointed it out. It seems like all the docs are evasive & I truly believe they don't know. I 've heard repeatively from docs that they'll have 1 patient with stage 4, bone on bone knee oa who doesn't complain of pain & someone else w/ mild to moderate & in terrible pain.

      How is the thumb recovery going? I never realized how much you use your thumb until it became torture to do so.

  • ralph83510
    ralph83510 thisolegirl

    Posted

    You’re right! This thumb thing has been a challenge. I wonder if I will ever get back to 80% on it. It is a hinderence when you can’t use it!
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