What is going on?!

I am sorry that you are widowed and understandably miss the togetherness and complaints. It struck me that there may be people in this situation. I have a number of friends who are widows and they seem to enjoy joining in our banter about our OH. I think it helps keep their memories alive and none of us are saints! I hope you find occasions where you are also able to do this comfortably.

I understand that too. I came very close to it 21 years ago and I know I wasn't ready then. But there has to be a happy medium! I am also a person in my own right and I have always treasured my time to myself.

It was perhaps harder in that I worked from home and arranged it all to suit me and my work. Having left it all to me for the best part of 40 years, David retired and now he tries to change the way I do things or asks why I do the things I've worked out to fit best for me who has had to do it. Or can't use the washing machine, or find anything in the kitchen. They've both been the same for 10 years...

I was nearly in that position 2 years ago. I shake my head when the machines are like aliens in our house though I have persisted and OH  is now a bit more knowledgable! It was men who engineered these machines so you'd think men would be interested. I suppose they don't come with gear changes and only move if they're unbalanced!😳

Debbie, You've made a great point.  I think that we quite enjoy  joking about our OHs being annoying and intrusive sometimes. The partner who is on the recieving end just wants  more space for themselves (mental and physical) and wishes they would leave them alone - but not premanently. . . (I know you know this, didn't mean to upset you.)

Kind thoughts, J

 

I bought my wife one of those t-shirts from the Kennedy Space Center - 'I need my space' went down very well!

Did you act on it??    J

You bet - I know which side my bread is buttered!  I'm king of the house until 'she who must be obeyed' returns and woe be tied if I don't have her mug of tea ready as soon as she steps thru' the door!!  I don't need the stress with PMR.

I get asked why do I make the gravy that way??  he always loved my gravy when working!!........

Why do I have a window cleaner....because you only do them twice a year!!.....It must be boredom I suppose....and I know things are far worse in the winter....but hey, I couldn`t do what he does physically in the house, hoovering etc.....so when the going gets tough, like it does for lots of us, I go into the other room and quietly scream, put on the music,...and carry on

Yup - can identify with all of that! Except it isn't gravy as I gave up making that years ago! Trying to think what it was he picked up on and asked about every 3rd time I did it! 

Then there is the toaster - I hang the cord around the handles of the insert bits (it isn't pop-up, wonderful, nothing to go wrong, it's a bit like those toastie maker things I suppose) so that I can lift it down from its shelf more easily. He's taller so it isn't a problem for him but he thinks it is silly to do it the way I do. So he doesn't. And the cable falls out onto me.

As for loading the dishwasher    - but we won't go there...

We go round my son`s today and we all have a family meal together, OH and I do it between us!  Well, last week my son came up to me dishing up the meal and asked why am I doing a certain thing! oh dear,  I gave him a look, and he said....that means clear off......which he smiled and did....it must be a man thing! (will get told off for saying that no doubt)  Also my husband always says at this time (and I wait for it now) don`t forget to heat the plates......well one day......if PMR didn`t make my arms/shoulders hurt, I might let him test them to see if they are hot enough!

Tomorrow after seeing family today I will be washed out....but OH goes to pub, so somehow it works out in the end....

Just as well he isn't married to me - heat plates????????????

Mine also times to perfection a visit to the bathroom just as I dish up. He knows that the food is on the table at 7.45pm or later and it makes no difference if it IS later. He's still "unavailable" for about 5 minutes and the food is going cold. Then he hasn't got wine...

Perhaps you should put his meal on red hot plates!!...it would suit my OH...

.Well, I wonder sometimes what they say about us........but you know what they say Eileen....you can`t improve on perfection.....

if the cap fits... 

That second emoticom isn't the one I wanted!

Glad to hear  you are well trained!🐩🐩

Update!   Doing the meal last night...OH said, I thought we were having cauliflower as well??  grandchildren looked at me, then him, and said get out of the kitchen quick grandad!!  Thought of you Eileen.....

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Ps  sometimes these emoticoms change when the post goes through?.....