What is wrong with me?

Posted , 3 users are following.

Im nearly 20 years old and I would consider myself to have a reasonably normal life. Im a scratch golfer in my second year at university, a solid friendship group and Ive had a girlfriend for 3 and a half years. From the outside my life would seem perfectly normal however recently i have started worrying so much about everything (especially my relationship) for no particular reason and it gets me down a lot. I feel guilty for being like this as my life does seem so normal and fine but something in my mind is making me unhappy. I do experience happiness a lot of the time in different situations but i find myself worrying about the future and my relationships so much. A key worry for me is the fear of being alone and this is perhaps why i worry about losing my girlfriend so much. I have told her about this but i hate coming across as insecure as i dont want to push her away but i just worry so much. As i said it might seem like i have no reason to be down/unhappy from an external point of view but i really want people to understand that my unhappiness is completely internal and controlled by something within. How can i stop worrying and start living my life happily as i should be?

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Andrew

    This sounds to me like classic anxiety, god only knows where it comes from. The problem is like you said everyone thinks you are fine from the outside they don't see the battle on the inside. Have you considered seeing your GP? Anxiety is difficult for people to understand and that makes me angry because it shouldn't be. Please feel free to talk to me anytime lots of love xx

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  • Posted

    You appear to have got yourself into a spiral and cannot break out. This is easy to do but it takes a bit of discipline to break out of that spiral. Only you can do it and the drive that you need now is the realisation that if you do not act then you can so easily fall into real depression.

    All of us experience uncertainties at various times in our lives. They happen without warning. just one little unnoticed remark, meeting, reading, experience can be a trigger. I doubt not that you can remember what happened when this started but if you could then you could also break out easily. So what you need to do is to relax, really relax. Clearly you get exercise from golfing and you must enjoy that given your scratch rating. Does your girlfriend also enjoy golf?

    How about progress in uni? Are you content with the subjects you have chosen? Is there some difference in the second year?

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  • Posted

    Thanks for the feedback. I am progressing well at uni and i am happy when im on the golf course and also in the gym where i spend a lot of my time. Its a hard thing to describe, i always get random and spontaneous flashes of worry where ill be thinking 'what if she is only with me because she feels bad?' or 'what if she finds someone better than me?'. When we are together we are perfectly happy, but as soon as im away these worrying flashes keep coming to me. It can have the opposite effect sometimes where i get random flashes of happiness so its really hard to put my finger on. Im constantly trying to figure out who i am and what my purpose in life is. I overthink so many aspects of my life, especially relationships. I create problems in my head that arent even there in the first place and are uneccessary. It seems as the foundations in my life are quite solid (e.g. golf, university, work etc) and i know that my problems are certainly not as bad or as serious as a lot of peoples on here but i just really want to go back to the person i used to be, i never used to worry about many things in life and i dont know if it is because im older now and a bit more aware of the real world and less naive. I know this could be a good thing in some ways but i just want to break out of this confusing time in my life and not in fear of being alone or unhappy in future.
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  • Posted

    Perhaps you are subconsciously worrying about marriage. Have the two of you discussed this?
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