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What is wrong with me???

Posted , 5 users are following.

kat35908
kat35908

So here is the thing... I don’t even know where to start...

I feel like this is a phase and it will pass, but for some reason it is not. I am starting to feel like I need help, but I am too embarrassed to ask. If I went to see my GP, I just feel like I would be wasting his/her time and he would just say that I am delusional (in a much nicer way, of course).

So for the past year and a half I have been feeling pretty down. 1.5 year ago was when I started University, I feel like this has a lot to do with my depression (or whatever this is).  I am a mature student (still pretty young) and my University is about an hour drive. The driving also brings me a lot of anxiety. I still haven’t connected with anyone on my course and I seem to be avoiding people, I prefer to be alone and I just want everyone to leave me alone. I have become very awkward and although I have always been an introvert I feel like it has become extreme. My speech has become weird, I cannot say what I want to because I just start jumping over words, I mess my sentences up and make no sense.

My family have noticed that I have become very anxious about everything and anything. I just wish I could control myself and become my old self. I don’t enjoy the things I used to... I used to love going out just to dance all night, now I can’t imagine going out now. My self-esteem has also become very low, I don’t want to go out, I don’t want people to see me. I hate public places and encounters. I just feel like I have nothing in common with anyone else. I don’t even enjoy talking to my family on the phone anymore. I feel like nobody enjoys being around me and everyone is against me. I rarely see anyone else but my husband and child.

I am so confused. I don’t know if this is depression or if it is just the person that I have become. sad

Reading all of this over just makes me want tell myself to suck it up and stop feeling sorry for myself.

Does anyone else feel this way or am I just some freak?

1 like, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 kat35908

    Posted

    Dear Kat, please, you must go to see your GP, explain that youth be a while. So ask if you can be the last patient... tell your GP EVERYTHING THAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN HERE.... you have anxiety and depression by the sound of it..you can feel better and be your old self again, you probably need antidepressants and a mild tranquilizer.. believe me, this can make a huge difference to how you feel... tell your family and friends what is happening. And enquire as to whether the university has a councillor, you will be able to open up freely to them ( it really helps ).

    You are not alone. You can get so much help, you deserve to feel better..

    Please go next week. You will be sincerely in my thoughts... I wish you all the luck in the world... take care, Deirdre xx

    • kat35908
      kat35908 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      It is kinda nice to see someone else encouraging me to seek help(besides myslef). That way I know that it's not just me with my thoughts. My families perception on depression is that it's just something to deal with by yourself and not to whine about to others. That's why I often feel like I have no one to talk to. I will try to make an appointment with my Uni counselor for next week and see what they say. I just hope that I can really get myself to do it.

      Thank you for your nice words,really made me feel better! x

  • Desperate_now
    Desperate_now kat35908

    Posted

    I second everything Deidre has said, get some help now before it gets a real grip. Good luck 
  • sue99534
    sue99534 kat35908

    Posted

    kat it sounds like you are suffering from social anxiety and it is quite common.

    Your GP would not 'dismiss' you! If they do, see another one. These online groups are great for social anxiety sufferes. Stay with us x

    • kat35908
      kat35908 sue99534

      Posted

      Yes, I have also considered that I have social anxiety and I think I've had it my whole life, it has just gotten worse lately. I will take a look at the SA forums! Thank you!
  • anne240
    anne240 kat35908

    Posted

    Perhaps you are just very stressed.  If you think you have depression then please talk to a doctor.  You will definitely not be wasting their time.  That is what they are there for.  They get paid a lot of money to help their patients.  They see people every day suffering from stress, anxiety and depression. 

    You are definitely not a freak.  Many many people feel just like you do, believe me.  You are not alone. 

    It could be depression, but you would need to see a doctor and discuss how you are feeling. 

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