What Next !!

Ouch Shebob, that's so painful. As if you haven't got enough to cope with And its such a shame when outside help isn't actually any help at all. You're simply amazing! I nursed my terminally ill husband in Spain several years ago and its physically and emotionally draining, but I was in good health, younger (much!) and didn't have to contend with broken ribs to add to the mix. I do hope nothing else happens to make your life even more difficult than it already is. Take care :hug:

With love from Lizzie xx

Im so sorry Shebob to hear of your new problems !!

Very best wishes and hope your luck changes soon !

Mrs G

Hi Shebob,

You poor thing....as if you hadn't enough to cope with :cry:

What on earth use is a home help who arrives at that late hour to get breakfast for your husband :roll: ,and presumably they were supposed to be helping with washing, toileting etc aswell. I hope you put in a complaint as that level of \"help\" is unacceptable.

My very best wishes that your ribs heal quickly and that you get some better quality help soon.

Love, Pauline.

Dear Shebob

Poor you! That must be so painful and unfortunately I don't believe there's much that can be done to help the healing, just time. You've listed three illnesses there, Shebob, so if things really do go in threes, then, hopefully, that's your lot. You could really do with some support, but not someone who comes at 11.15 to do breakfast for your poor hubby! Wish I was round the corner!

Do hope you heal quickly; take care and keep in touch.

MrsO

Dear Shebob, I admire your for your courage. Nothing I can say here can really help you, as I personally know how sad - I should say how tragic - is taking care of a terminally ill person: somebody whom we love more than ourselves. But, somehow and somewhere, there will be a future: your health will improve and good things will finally give you some reward after so much pain. It's not easy to believe it, but it is necessary: positive thinking may help more than medicine to find peace in our mind, and even though our heart will keep on crying for what we lost, we'll have our life back. A different life, perhaps, but still worth to be enjoyed.

Titania

Oh Shebob, what a thing to have handed out to you now.........I wish you the strength to carry on and the fortitude to deal with whatever comes next.

One day the struggle will stop - one day!

Nefret

Dear All,

Thank you all so much for your loving thoughts and wishes. It does help having somewhere to turn to have a little secret moan.

Bless you all, Shebob xx

Shebob I cannot begin to know what you are going through and the ribs are the last straw. So painful and nothing to be done for them. Be glad you don't have a hairy chest! Friend of mine was strapped with sticky plaster years ago. Getting that off was worse than the ribs, he says.

The carers are probably not really to blame. It's the useless privatised system. We have two family members in their nineties and their girls really do give over and above, even planting tomatoes in their greenhouse and fitting in taking them to visit friends while they are going to their next \"clients\" (don't you love it? ) and delivering them back home on the way back. The times they are allocated are ridiculous and they only get paid the minimum wage. The \"clients\" are charged double that and more than triple at weekends. Don't get me started. I have my BP to consider.

Will be thinking of you. Love Betty

Hi Betty E,

Icouldn`t agree more. I stressed to both the company involved and Social Services that the carers were not to be blamed. It is the greedy private companies who take on too many clients without taking on extra staff (who should be paid double for what they do ) And companies who seem unable to organise rotas so that staff are not expected to get from one client to another in a matter of seconds. One lady who had worked for this company for 11 months, had acquired 3 speeding tickets in that time trying to get to people on time. The Govt are looking at Care homes but they should also be monitoring these companies. My BP is also rising !

Shebob x

Shebob

I do not know if they can help, but have you tried MacMillan Nurses, they can be found via the web. It good be a longshot, but you really need some help.

Alternatively, if you are up to it, ask the Senior Social Worker in your local authority to call a Case Conference.

I wish I lived near you

I think it is possibly Marie Curie nurses you need in this instance - mercifully, I had contacts with Macmillan who provide all sorts of support but not with MC who provide a home service to allow you some relief from the hard work. My sister-in-law did have some nurse support but her husband wasn't very cooperative but I think that was MC. As far as I know, they do the turning, the drugs, and are truly wonderful.

I only wish there were something more concrete I could do, shebob. I can only offer virtual hugs

Eileen

Me again,

John came out of hospital on June 30th- with a hospital bed. He is to have Hospice at home. Have so far seen only a Macmillan co-ordinator-2 weeks ago. When I first broke my ribs and couldn`t even get on the stair lift without agony , I rang the District nurses ( who come only once a week to fit his leg back catheter, and always say as they`re leaving \"You have our numbers if you need us) so I rang and said I didn`t think I could manage to put his pain patches on his arm- they`re very small and fiddly and have to be renewed every third night. Her reply was \" Raise the hospital bed and you`ll manage\"

I broke my ribs Thursday 14th July,stuck it out till Sunday when I was in absolute agony so rang the on call at 6.45am at 11am a doctor came, wanted me to go to hosp cos of COPD and very swollen feet and legs. Won`t go of course and leave John.

Thursday, a week later the Homecare began-nuff said - Shebob xx

Dear Shebob

You are getting appalling service when you should be receiving practical support for both you and your husband. To be told to \"raise the hospital bed\" when you have broken ribs is beyond comprehension. Have you spoken to your GP about the situation - when he hears of your predicament he should be able to arrange something to help you. I think I'd be ringing my local MP.

We are all here to support you, Shebob, and I'm so sorry it can't be practically.

A big hug - MrsOxx

Before reading MrsO's comment I was just preparing to say - ring your MP. It will cost the NHS far more if you and your husband have to go into hospital so it's a no-brainer. Have you also tried contacting Marie Curie nurses? They provide a different service to the Macmillan ones.

Eileen