What's wrong with me????

Hi, I have the exact same thoughts. I live for my children I used to stay up through the night when mine were babies and cry so much and cuddle them on me and would just constantly say I don't want to die and never see them again 😭 I take it you are on medication for depression? I had a breakdown from the stress of it all. I am getting better with it but it still on some days haunts me. I try to tell myself that no one in this world gets out alive, so why worry, worrying is a pointless tool that does not need to be used. Your babies will not be babies forever "although you will still think they are 😉" but they will grow up and have families of there own. So as you grow older you will not be needed as much and they are old enough to look after themselves.. It's the circle of life and hopefully we will get to an age when death come up on us where our body will naturally want to let go. But in the meantime enjoy your babies every day nobody nos when there time is up so like I said worrying about it will not change a thing it's Just a pointless tool. ? xx

I think maybe your anti depressant is not right? I changed mine to citralapram and noticed the difference in my rapid thoughts. I no how difficult it as for you. Everyone has these thoughts but the doctor told me mine are getting out of control. No one wants to die and leave loved ones. But you have to accept this is your illness taking over and can't think rationally. That is how I learned to cope with it. When your mind starts to wonder. Say STOP in your head say I don't want to listen to my illness today replace it with a happy thought don't let it control your mind. I no you will be thinking easier said than done but trust me you can do it I spent a year in bed with this. I had such a fear of dying and leaving my children that in the end it turned it's self around and I had, had that much of listening to my mind I wanted to end it so many times. Remember it's pointless worrying . I still have bad days but more good now and I never thought I would ever say this. I seen the phyciatrist last week he was really good. I'm not an exercise person never have been but started swimming with my children 4 times a week now because I love it and is really helping the mind. I would maybe speak to your doctor again about changing meds. Hope you are feeling better soon, And your children need there mummy well so they can have the best of you now and you can then look forward to the future xx

You need to get some help cause it's controlling your life it's normal to think of that once in a while and have god parents for that reason if people still do that, but not to the extreme like you. Some good counseling and antidepressants might help. Try and concentrating on living well instead of dying and the what ifs that might never happen.Enjoy your children and be happy you have your health and can do things with them alot of people would do anything to be in your shoes. Don't look for a negative to dwell on. You might live to be 100yrs old.If we all let are fears get to us everyday no one would go to work or leave the house, the world would be a very negative place to be and we would all end up sick and die young.For your childrens sake get this dealt with a.s.a.p. so you all have a healthy  happy invironment to live in. Stress is the number one killer.

Sometimes I go through a similar anxiety with hypochondria... what helps me is really trying to ground myself in my body.. it helps you to get yourself out of your head, which is why exercise is such a good tool for anxiety and depression. Also try to get more in touch with your rational side... The fear of death and losing loved ones is a totally normal and inevitable part of being a human being, but if this is seriously affecting you on a regular basis, maybe therapy could be of help to you. Unfortunately we don’t have much control over when or how our time comes, but don’t let that anxiety interfere with your quality of life now.. Enjoy the time you have with your kids and make every moment as meaningful as you possibly can. That’s all we really can do.